i look up from my book
and there you are
floating around in my mind again
i turn on the tv
locking you back in your cage called
logic and self control
but as soon as the screen goes black
i see youve slipped between the bars
and youre playing in my imagination
i open the laptop
maybe i can drown you in numbers and words
but you have fins and gills
and you swim around behind my eyes
so i tie my shoes and throw open the door
hoping that i can run faster than you
but as soon as i get home
you jump on me and wrestle me to the ground
telling me everything i want to hear
where i scream and cry
no more, please, no more
and my heart bleeds on the concrete

you will never be forgotten.
ever.
your name twisted into metaphors and colors and distractions will forever
be painted across pages and pages of her favorite brand of notebook,
no matter how many she burns
there will always be one she forgot,
and she will only find it once she had almost forgotten you.
she will find the one Papyrus notebook
and all of your metaphors and colors and disractions will come flooding back,
just like how the ocean in your eyes
flooded her heart all those years ago.

the funny thing about futures
is that theyre hazy with trials
but at the same time so clear, you can see it for miles
can riddle you with excitement, all the way down to your core
and render you helpless in a panic attack on the floor
brighten your day
send tears down your face
wrap you in assurance and plans
look big and scary and tell you "you cant"
be the sense behind your choices
be the source of all the inside voices
be the reason you blossom into a beautiful self
or your legacy will be another unread book on the shelf

music is my only caress
they say im too young to desire so strong
i say they're too old to remember
how the passion burns inside you
and then the anger
when you realize how impossible it is
im too small and too tangled in expectations
to be held by a stanger