I’ve lost the bond of a loved one during the journey of finding myself.
I only have myself when I’m not fitting in.
How I’m not giving in to what’s socially acceptable or the traditions when there’s only so much I can give.
I’ve always been an observer but as a child I kept expressions in.
Putting on a stoic face as my depression grows within.
I thought of this just as temporary but then the approach begins again so once again I’m just a kid.
Yearning for that old relationship with my mother and the comfort of a home.
But I'm too different from the rest so I come off as complicated, I’m alone for not being a clone.
Can't find happiness of my own,
I've never felt so obligated.
My mind never focuses on that.
Not merely since everything in my environment has my mind on different paths but never fulfilling anything.
Never accomplishing what I go after, how I drop everything I pick up.
My failures seems to come back to back from one another playing *** for tat.
Most things that come to me never last.
Unless it's a dark mass or anything traumatising I'm trying to get passed.
Feels like everything in this world is robbing me but I always see it coming, it's unmasked.

You say you understand.
That it's okay but you've seen these tears before.
Was I saddened by his abuse or the love that surfaced from it?
I had compassion, he had a soul.
I realized his soul was mine, the way he clings to me.
Maybe in a past life he was my child and I was an unfit mother.
Incapable of loving for I was never introduced to it.
I have a hard time of loving myself, but it's numb I'm so used to it.
How every relationship unfolds it gruesomeness.
I was told I was meant to be alone, I cried for a bit.
But I lived many lives now
I understood what it meant.