Trying to figure out my purpose
I can not name one thing
Nohing on my mind
Just these voices screaming
Making me an empty shell
What is life for me?
Do I have any in me left?
Child inside of me died
Long time ago
When men put their hands
Where they don't belong
Child died inside of me
When pills became only source
Child died inside of me
When voices became loud
Child died inside of me
When door started to scream
And bugs crawled all over my skin

So many years
So many tears
My body is like a rose
But thorns keep ripping apart my skin
They grow around my body
Pricking my skin
Pricking my soul
Pouring more blood on my wounds

Reach the goal
Cold hands hold me
Bony hands hold me
Freezing from your hugs
Stomach hurts - just for fun
Eyes are dull
Brain is foggy
Numbers keep falling

wires in my head
acid runs through my veins
my body moves by thread
thy got me
they got me
they got me
now i am like the rest of them
lonely marionette

You don't want me
When I am happy
You don't want me
When I am sad
You only call me
When you need
Your sick pleasure
You only call me
When your loneliness
Eats you up inside out

There is a guest in the back of my mind
In the middle of the night
Where sleep is kicking me in
He comes in without knocking
His steps are silent yet harsh
His voice is raspy yet calm
His words make wounds
All over my body
Yet we still sip the drinks
Talking and talking and then the fight begins
Fight of life and death
Sometimes I wonder who he is
But while listening to his harsh ****** words
I see
I feel
I know
It is my mother coming to see me
Coming to break me once again

I started using again
Needed distraction
Needed happiness
Needed the buzz
I started using again
Replaced my mind with a pill
One two three four
After that I lost the count
Cigarettes burn my lungs
I breath in and breath out
But I still suffocate
In my own despair