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nevaeh Jan 2021
is it too late in the game
to try and change?
too close to the end
to start again?

if i changed now, became the person i wish i was
accepted myself and said **** it to my parents
to anyone, everyone who said i was wrong
could i change forever?

i feel like my happiness
isn't worth the struggle anymore
to lose so much, just for what?
peace of mind? comfort?

i feel like the weight, the attention
to who i am, what i want
would be too much
why am i so afraid of this? being judged?
nevaeh Jan 2021
the words you say
he smiles we fake
the way you save face

all the pretty, empty things

let them go
hit me, scream, cry
throw something, be mad
tell me how much you hate me
scream until i hate you back
let go of the pretty things
be empty
sick of the passive aggressive, just be aggressive.
nevaeh Jan 2021
it's expected
and accepted
and it's just how
i will go.
nevaeh Jan 2021
could've been two hours
or ten seconds
i dont know

he just looked at me
right into my eyes
with those baby blues
and *******
can eyes even be that blue?
i think i was staring
and maybe he stared back
but, again, who knows?
eye contact - but better cause hes pretty
nevaeh Jan 2021
when there's nothing left in my stomach
i come here
to purge my brain
no thoughts no pain
nevaeh Jan 2021
sick sick sick
sick to the stomach
sick in the head

ill and unsightly
avert your eyes
too tall, too skinny
i don't like it
haha yeah i hate myself what about it
nevaeh Jan 2021
i'd **** myself
right before it ended
just so i could say
i finally did it
**** **** ****
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