nevaeh

nevaeh Jan 2021

because when i get what i want
i don't want it anymore
when i write
my words aren't pretty
i don't speak in symbols
or talk about the moon and sun and stars
im dying
without love or beauty inside me

#love #dying

nevaeh Jan 2021

lesser than

****
fuckfuckfuck

you know
six years ago
i was a freak
a ******

but then you got ****** up too
and now i can be cool

**** that
you made me what i am
i wont change for you

when i die
im dying a freak
a ******

a dead loser
with your heart

**** i am high as *****

nevaeh Jan 2021

pills

happy colors
pretty pictures
am i bleeding
or just having fun?

wowwiee

#drugs

nevaeh Jan 2021

wreckage

can you see it?
****, can't you FEEL it?
there's a fire
out there burning
maybe you can smell the smoke
but can you feel the heat?

#fire

nevaeh Jan 2021

whywhywhywhywhywhy

WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE WRONG?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE BAD GUY?
I KNOW YOU'RE STRUGGLING
AND I'M SO SORRY I COULDN'T/CAN'T HELP YOU
BUT I'M ******* STRUGGLING TOO
I'M ******* EXHAUSTED.
YOU CAN BE MAD AT ME
HATE ME FOR ALL ETERNITY
I DON'T ******* CARE ANYMORE
NONE OF YOU CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOUR **** SELF
IM NOT ASKING YOU TO DIE FOR ME
I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO BREATHE
FOR JUST A MOMENT
I WANT TO LET GO

could you at least TRY to see how ******* lonely i am? how isolated i've become? how ******* close i am to having nothing left?

I DON'T WANT YOUR LOVE
I JUST WANT A FRIEND.

go have your breakdown - i'll just keep forcing myself to be okay, because you all matter so much more than you should to me.

nevaeh Jan 2021

feeble

oh, how the world has watched hungrily
lapped up every drop of my pain

then to move on so quickly
feed off of another helpless soul

like i'm not even worth the effort
to see if i survive

it's almost like he wants me to see
how unimportant i am, how quickly he'd leave
so when i finally die, my blood will mingle with tears
and instead of leaving this world alone
i'll take my loneliness with me

god ******* ****

nevaeh Jan 2021

100

lately, more and more people have started to look at me
and suddenly i remembered what i hate so much about the world

it has eyes.

******* ****