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nevaeh Sep 2020
pointy needle
in soft skin
hold my hand
like a friend
take my blood
make a change
empty out
ignore the pain
this is cool
im okay
a little dizzy
but im glad i came
tree asked me to donate blood and it was pretty cool i guess
nevaeh Sep 2020
i like
homemade chocolate chip cookies
and my moms spaghetti
i like dead rappers (and some alive ones)
and rock music from the 2000's
i like boys with curly hair
and dancing with no music at all
i like the 90's
i like rollerblading and neon colors
i like safety pins and key chains
i like over-accessorizing
i like little plastic animals
i love my friends
i love my family
(no matter how wrong it is)
i like ap english class
and free t-shirts
i like running
and climbing trees
i like my bangs
and having my makeup done
i like my art
im proud of it
i like paint on my jeans
and not being bullied
i like compliments from pretty girls
i like pretending i'm the queen
i like thinking about you
i like my life
i love you
and i love me
i miss being happy
nevaeh Sep 2020
wow
i need to stop wondering
i need to stop caring
i'm playing myself
setting myself up to get hurt
this isn't worth it
it's not
but god
not seeing him
it hurts almost as much.
im a fool
nevaeh Sep 2020
boredom is heavy
and makes you think
so we spin the bottle
and sip our drinks
we watch it whirl
then kiss our friends
make nothing of it
but boredom's end
at a basement party because school is for losers
nevaeh Sep 2020
bare feet on the asphalt
empty cans clatter
spray paint cans rattle
running
          running              
                     running                            
from everything we've done
from our responsibilities
from the inevitable
from ourselves, mostly.
~
but never mind all that
tonight there is just
us heathens and the moon
and aerosol colors in a can
tonight we have a bone to pick
with the universe
for making us dysfunctional
for building us broken
~
tonight we will love
no matter the cost
so what if we're hung
is it really a loss?
~
"we" is just me
and the echoes in my brain
the reverberations of myself
in a space once full of color
left black and white
~
i will color it
color it all
shapes and colors
no words
no images
just abstract emotions
just me and memories of you
~
just me
and a stranger
where you used to be
you know, that empty space inside of me that nothing else can fill.
the place filled by a stranger
because not thinking about things is easier than thinking about them
because not talking at all
is easier than trying to figure out what to say
nevaeh Sep 2020
there is a hole in my nose
and one in my heart

holding hands
in the halls
giggling
in the dark
nevaeh Sep 2020
i am rotting him
bringing him down and down
tearing him apart
i am poison
he won't stop taking me in
lapping me up
like a drug
im hurting him
by just being here
i hate myself
all i can do is hope
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