...and when your insides hurt so
beyond the realm of what you know
is it then that you grasp on for dear light

...or do you let go?

but it happened
and as i lay listening to your breaths
your words flow in my hear
i don't hear
with each ****** of mistaken passion
i look up at the stars on a night so cold
you said it was bound to occur
and so i stare into the mirror afterwards
not knowing who she is anymore
the lines in her face are obscured
clothing myself in guilt
inside i have already been crying
she's looking back at me
and i'll be ******

she is smiling

the genie said make a wish
actually he said i could make three
and as i carefully placed my thoughts
i figured i would combine my dreams
yet how can i limit myself to the top three things of which i wish but do not need?

so, carefully, i shall whisper a grain of sand
into the ear of magic that is he
to grant me the wish of life itself
by the planting of a seed
because as you know the seed will grow
and from the roots there'll stand a tree
branching out providing life for years to come;

as this wish isn't just for me

foolish one, what have you done?
that does not equal three
but i have the gift of life and health
for everyone else
what more will i ever need?

I haven't forgotten the words you have said to me
They rotate around my mind everyday
And they will never leave
They burned themselves deep in my subconscious always reminding me, doubting me, hitting and beating me down to the point when I don't know anymore
I don't know if I'll ever be enough for the world
And sometimes I ring those words as true, all the words you said to me ring true inside
*Never giving me piece of mind

To blow out the candle burning in the spiteful darkness
Is to wait until the feverish snake devours my toes and kisses my bones

I cannot allow my only light to be snatched
Leaving me to hug a shroud and to wait for the faint sound that will signal my end

I instead shall burn a hundred candles,a thousand if my hands are not tired and burnt.
Coaxing the darkness out to die by the hand of light

Why cant I let go if whatever bothers me.
Why cant I let go of a past that will never come again.
Why cant I sleep for at least one day with empty mind and free soul.
Is it me trapped in my past? Or is it life getting harsher and harsher day by day. God oh  god heal my broken heart, my trapped soul, heal my mind. Heal me from all the pain that is breaking me apart.