I tried to be like the winter
Cold in my words and talks
Like my words were ice
And prose was an icebox

I tried to be the winter
An indifferent little soul
My deeds unheeded indeed
But the freeze did takes its toll

I wanted listen to the rain
White breath on my window
All I could hear was icy wind
And always did it blow

And always will it blow

4:22 am blinks

I like being here so late at night
When I am the only one alive
When I don't feel lonely anymore
There is no one to talk to anyhow

I will close my eyes to sleep and know
When I wake, everyone is awake
And then there are people I can talk to
But I wont, or I cant, so I am lonely


4:22 is the witching hour

But I like being the only one alive

You bring only rain
I said, and I looked
Off in the distance
A chilly gray day

You bring only cold
You said, and I listened
But you said in time
That you still loved me

And only then
Did I hear the rain
When it was gone

And I realized in time
That I still love you

I wear a watch that does not run
Stopped at exactly midnight
Or at least somewhere around there
I haven't checked in a time

I wear my empty heart in my eyes
That clings in dark circles
Making dark my listing gaze
I haven't seen much though

I wear my thoughts out loud
Oh wait, no I speak them
Right, but if I could wear them
I wouldn't be so upset

I wear my deepest desire
Most secret and guilty it is
On my voice, in it though
I can't sing such unfairness

I wear on most of all
Though I feel like stone
Weathered by drops of me
Dropping down, and only down

As the dust gently settles
As cold weather sets in
Will you find your way?

Will you remember the way
Through grasses long passed
On paths unknown and unpaved

There was a time, when once
Forgetting was found, in us
We were bound to be undone

As dust settles
In wintered lands
Will you find your way?

It's late and I work on my self
I write out the colors of my heart
and I paint the words I forgot to say (when we were together)  
I stay up late, working on my art

that is to say, if I had one

I ride hip hop beats late into the color
I learn to speak a language I made up
I speak in tongues, when actually I said nothing
By a lamp, and it rains, but it never rains enough

Awash in the color of a sound and
I feel that loneliness that you feel
I speak the same empty grays you do
And I wonder if I will ever heal

I wonder if there is a place where I
can belong, where I can do no wrong  
simply, until then I will never know, yeah
I just plan to keep going, while staying put

So I guess, I'll sit in silent wonder
Listening to the hum of fans
When all is left to be torn asunder
What is the point of making plans?

What was the point of spending that money
Or spending my time on it for that matter
What was the point of watching those films
Or driving around so ******* much

If in the end it doesn't even add to anything.

I remember standing, somewhere on that rusted dock, the river boat on the murky waters of our flooded city.
Deep fogs and smog set on the setting sun, and we just rode over the gentle currents of the deep.
Over the sunken houses and cars, over the parks and apple trees. I remember looking out on the white cedar swamp, near the
shack we built atop a mountain. Sky scrapers stood out of the water, waning in the current of a new world, and we
road our river boat on.

I don't feel like sleeping right now, not now
Even though, I know, I have somewhere to go
Oh so ******* early in the morning
Even when I would normally then be glad
That as I am in bed, resting my weary head
That when I woke I would have a full day ahead

Yet I do not feel like sleeping right now
I have this feeling, this creeping in my head
And when normally I would love to sleep
Away from problems and plights alike
Away from anger and that stupid night light
I want to say all I have left in life unsaid

But, alas and alack to bed I must go, you know?

I left my window open at the bottom of the sea
The cold air blew in past the angler fish to me
And I caught a bug, but not in a glass jar
While the currents swept me away quite far

I lay in bed, and I stare into the ocean deep
Wondering what out there, there could be?
If I knew, then I'd know where to go, to be
But I don't, so I sit here, with the company of me

What's it like at the bottom of the ocean
I will tell you if you but simply lend an ear
The silt is disturbed by the slightest motion
And know one here, I know, knows fear

Mostly, because there is no one here at all
As it is dark and cold, and weighs heavy on you
And no seasons either, neither summer nor fall
And, unlike what you'd think, it's black, not blue

Down here, yes, this abyssal plain is my home
Near the edge of an oceanic trench, even deeper
And while yes, I am far from light and sea foam
I couldn't find rent elsewhere that was any cheaper

I don't mind it so much, to be completely honest
I mean, you're always free to visit, if you can
I'd rather be here, with nothing on my chest
And nothing but the cool black and the sand

I hate that ******* night light
It burns my eyes while I lie awake
I would be unaware that I were aware
If not for that unfortunate night light

It's prying at my eyes, open though they already be
On the edge of my bed, and no words cross my mind
There is no color in my heart while I wait
With the oddest symmetries underlying out of sight
Awake, there is me, is there a wake?

But it doesn't matter
and I sit here with that light
That night light who I hate so
While I lay awake, it taunts me
Though I am not awake on it's account

Odd thoughts I thought naught of
But in the middle of the night I ought
To go to bed, I've had enough
Odd dreams, sought to be caught

Awake by some gentle light
In the middle of the night

I remember when time stood still
Slowed until there was none to ****

I stood in alive among the frozen
Those around me found me warm
I unlike they, still had a sense of when
From the standstill I had been torn

I looked at the birds in flight in the sky
Each on it's way to a place far from home
They do it though they don't know why
Yet still they fly and still they roam

The sun shone through the august leaves
Painting the world their ancient hues
On the river side on that eve of eves
Why time had stopped, I had no clue

I remember when time stood still
Slowed until there was none to ****
But in the same instant sprang back alive
And I guess I'll never ever know why

The air is hot, these winter days
With the wind blowing from uphill
Howling on the mouths of caves
Sounds to me like the same old swill

Pick red, or pick the blue pill
We're already down the rabbit hole
We've still got some time; to ****
Before the smoke swallows us whole

It's 2 minutes till ten, what will I do till then?
Those two minutes will pass, surely I will not notice
And in two minutes when they have, I will be in bed
Though the same can be said for the next 80 years
When the time will have passed the same, except I will be dead

I wrote a song with a good friend of mine
We sat drinking tea, laughing, our thoughts we wore
In these early days of winter, the wind does whine
It makes me love life, and hope for something more

I do not know what's in your heart
But this is something I know in part
If sadness is something that we all share
Then know this also, I very much care

Stand within the rivers tide
Feel the cold go rushing past
Only to run away and hide
From the stones that we all cast

Leave alone the reckless liar
And soon he'll tell no lies
The soldier with no war will retire
As the lover with no love never cries

With all the rain, comes another
To follow the rain all once more
To a flame it has come to smother
For the sins on it's soul that it wore

So much is grown from singular seeds
All that is sown are our bygone deeds

No harvest we reap, in this life or those which follow
Does not run deep, with the touch of our shadow

For the roots of lives run deep, tangled with the roots of all others
Dark rains will fall, seep, and we'll drink the same as our brothers

Our best shot for the sun, is to swiftly grow tall
But when it's over and done, we're alone after all

Yet, you like all else were born of a single seed
You, with all else, were of the exact same breed

I am of glass, my edges rough, fringes taper
My merits could hide between sheets of paper
Deep down, where dreams rest, far below
I am afraid that I forgot to shut a window

I am lackluster, my glow slowly fades
Like planets in the sky, who don't actually shine
On paper, or to hide, lets draw the shades
Equally distant are we though, that's fine

The street was dark and so too were my eyes
I walked down the cobble under darkened skies
I walked down the stone, ankle breakers sets
Gamblers in the alleys watching on, making bets

The buildings stand guard on the night for their lords
keeping them safe, open their mouths; in filth pours
Light poles, with dim candles, give hope for safe journey
Dark alley ways steal eyes, make nervous muscles in our sides

Window light, guardian ports, fly catchers, laundry holes
Shines on the street, waiting for me, with it meet
Footsteps creep around edges avoiding sight
But it’s easy to see, all this going on in the night

Out of law exchangers making changes in pocket stuff
50 for the things, that make pigs squeal, illegal deal
Children's eyes are shut, in bed, not here with us
Tucked in warm and tight, not here with the people of the night

Street sweepers weep, we drink, bottles broken at our feet
Bar tab one too many, stumble, mumble, home on the street
Pickpockets delight, puts up no fight, pockets empty when drunk
Bourgeoisie snobs make prison demands! Lock them away tight!

The street, is *****, I know, I do
But this is o.k, with wary watch

For indeed

In the absence of the light
Come the People of the night

Does it ever unnerve you to think, at night, at home
That despite the innumerable odds for life elsewhere
We are, or to the extent of our knowledge, all alone?
This I find, is nearly too much at times to bear

Does it ever unnerve you to think, at night, in bed
That despite the billions of people on this earth
You rarely meet new people, because of all you left unsaid?
Due to some misplaced, and wrong sense of self worth?

Does it ever unnerve you to think, at dusk, at home
That despite both the innumerable odds for life elsewhere
And the billions of people on this earth, we still feel alone?

If guilt and mistakes are at stake
And you're stuck in a rut that's deep with door closed shut
I urge you to break open windows and take, take what you know
And put it in a skill
Use your strength and your will
For only you, this soil, can till
I want you to walk boardwalks and talk to crowds
Convey your heart and speak out loud
To draw and write the things you feel
For though it is not original, or perhaps good enough to show others
You've given yourself something that is real

If the past clings to your ankles and you can't shake it's shackles
Take the rings of iron bound to your feet and break the bindings
The past will not last in your mind anyhow and how you know that you're free
Is when you are able to stand and accept life's steep, and harsh fee
And move and go and know and live and be happy, regardless of it's toll
And if you can do this than you have done more than all the rest who feel best
And you have beaten the ultimate test
For happiness comes sparingly in short bursts
And if you're simply warily comparing the outcomes of actions
Then you are not alive, and the beauty will pass you by
and the chance for happiness will digress and leave you alone

If you can hear then you listen to songs, and words
the footsteps the heartbeats, the wind in the tree's and it's birds

If you can see then you look at the art on the walls that apart from yourself
Can still bring to you some beauty in heart
You look at the bridges in Vermont that in the orange flush fall
Paint the world their colors as they fall from tree's that stand tall

And you like that tree should stand in the wind and not bend to the fate
For when you move with the wind you'll find that happiness does not wait

So as you stare from the window in the stone house you have built
As the flowers you brought from outside are gone, or start to wilt
And you see the sunshine line the paths that you know you should walk
And the people who stand in bands with whom you know you should talk
I hope that the cold of the stone which for years you have known
Serves reminder to find the courage to walk through the door which you abhor
And find the life and light and peace that I know the world for you, has in store.

A stranger of the past is walking in these shoes
Any where I venture, he too has, will, and must go
The stranger of times long ago to me and you
Is simply a distant and vague shadow of an echo

And when together we meet, and meet for the last
He will not be a stranger, before myself to see
The stranger and I will walk together, yet one shadow cast
As I know him well, for this man is me

The mountains will know no path, though they are mine
That I cannot scale with a new friend beside
And this world will not long keep it's secrets to hide
As the stranger with myself, comes along for the ride