once upon a time
there was
a circle

and it drummed
and it
strummed

and the lump
in
my
throat
the size of a tyrant's
fist
dissolved
into
a pure
white light feeling

and i was a

person

a part of something
not apart
not asunder  
a heartspace coming coming

a star starring

afar
in the distance
guiding my lost feet toward
an oasis
that actually

is

a new start an art of being dreaming awake made

for you

a land of yay to hold in the palm of your hand and
a vibrating tone
resonates in that numb sternum
a tone that
lay
one
shade
away
from the ten thousand and ten whites of the first light
ever lit

Her womb receiving you
again

I almost died when I was in the 5th grade
I struggled to lift my baby sister up
My mom couldn't even do it
We woke up cause she started crying
and I threw up, everyone kept throwing up
My father slurred his speech
said we all caught the flu
and we all slept in the living room
Till my brother came out and said
we gotta get out,  now
So thankful he slept with the door closed
He drove the minivan, 15 years old
off to grandma's house
Got a blood test done
cause even the dog was blowing chunks

Please check your

I fall
For people with whom I've hardly exchanged a word,
Let alone a sentiment

It's a real problem, you see
Because when I fall for someone
I spend so much time dreaming about him
So much time sliding down the slippery slopes of affection
That when I try to speak
I realize he's still at the top
And I can't get back up

I.
can't.
breathe.
anymore.

I promised myself I wouldn't think about you
I promised myself I could live without you
That's a promise I made, only to be
A promise I never intended to keep

I promised I wouldn't let you into my dreams
I promised if I did, I would ask you to leave
I found out last night that my promise is weak
Because it's a promise I couldn't keep

I promised myself I'd no longer love you
A promise I made that never came through
A promise long ago before I could see
That was a promise I never would keep