I wish I wasn't shy
I wish I could be myself
I wish they could see
I'm just like everyone else

I wish I could share my thoughts
I wish I could speak my mind
But the harder I try
The more my tongue is twined

I wish I was transparent
So people could see
That the wall I put up
Is just for security.

I come off as distant
I come off as aloof
But take a look in my heart
And you will find proof.

I am no different than you.

surround me with your light darling
mine is going out
it's these nights
this air-fill that I desperately search for
killing my time with someone else's
I inhale my evenings
I flood and burn every feeling
i'm not trying to drown myself
but I do, all the time
these bottles sink
these cigarettes stink
i'm trying to float to you
but I can't swim in the dark
and at some point
my eyes turn everyone into you
and I turn into someone else

You're on my mouth
[it's nothing new]
Meal
I chew through
thoughts of you
& before I've swallowed
I'm ready for the next bite

That moment between
Asleep & dreaming
My brain plays your face for me
& suddenly you're streaming
I'm dreaming
I'm dreaming
My pillows keep beams of you
My sheets too
& you're being seen
You're being dreamed of
& because of this treat
I could sleep for weeks
Easily

Hey Time,
just this once
could you do me a favor ?
maybe take the night off;
I can explain my disclaimer
you've just been moving so fast
& I want back what I came for
they say you go on without us
so what the hell do we stay for ?
it's like every single second
draws a line by my mouth
I'm not the type to sit and waste you
but I've seen the work that you're about
I'm not saying that I doubt you
but you're showing me no light
I sit in the dark surrounded by
your wisps & ticking every night
i'm frightened by you, Time
you give me no guidance
instead you torture my mind
& brightly blind me with defiance
you've tried to take what was mine
when your minutes started flying
I wasted a year ignoring that
& found the opposite of silence
So i'm begging you tonight
to hand me only what I came for
press your pause button, please
so I can slowly stop the pain
for just tonight
it's all I ask
a favor easily returned
you give me back my life
I promise you
my soul you will have earned

It's cold outside
but I refuse to go in
the moonlight gets me high
and the wind coats my skin
with a presence
a present
i'm presently in
i'd like to forget you sometimes
but the stars
outline your bends  
and I defend my every whim
with uncertainty i'm sure
I don't know what you think about
with spells I burn your thoughts of her
I stay unsure
I am not yours
sometimes I sleep through dreams I was
some nights I fight a tired mind
& wake up screaming, just because
I do not know
I will not know
until you open up your mouth
until we're standing chest to chest
like this I'm doomed to leave the south

Hating the time difference as usual
Usually just
Un using things
Not really thinking about importance and
Disproving what's changed
It's strange
It's deranged
Intangible
or is
Nothing the same
still I'm grateful
Anything with your name is
Delicious it's
Served at my table
It burns holes in my grace like
We're so unattainable
But I'm so
righteously grateful
for every single word being tasted
like maple
Like syrup
I wanna pour you up
and out
sweet substance
Cut you up with my fork
you disturb meals like
you've been in my mouth
With
Forgets and what torments
everything from lint to fabric
I might wear you but
you, you're still absent
and I'm inadequate
I'm chasing dreams of your necklines
I'd like to relate the responsibility of trying to describe your face
But that's impossible
You're so gorgeous it's like forcing everyone to burn holes inside of trouble
It's like trying to relate these things publicly
try and explain what's important
When all i want is to try to say you're important to me

But you won't hear it
You're too young so you
Do what you want and I
Just lay down
Bite my tongue & I
Retry to say words that might strike you
Instead
Pretend my mouth might
Bite into your neck
That you might let me
Kiss all of the skin
stretching from your head to your knee caps
Make you relapse from my lap
to your shoulders
We are holy
I am yours, girl
You no longer need that discloser
& if you'd decide to be mine
I'll have you wake up adored
and I'll hold every single word.
and no matter what goes on in this world
I just want to rock yours  
and anyway
hey;
We might be worlds away
but i'm not use to being stopped