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I still can't sleep at night.
To this day,
I can't hold my head up when I walk through the halls.
To this day,
I question every part of who I am; who I was.
To this day,
I wonder if I'll ever  be someone.
              To this day,
                    To this day,
                         To this day,
My worries have become more than just a burden.
Inspired by:
Shane Koyczan & Siobhan Vivian.
Jumbled thoughts running through my head, and I think that I’d be better off dead. I think about all the things I used to do, like walking, running and hugging you. Now all I can do; day in and day out is stare at the ceiling and want to shout. Not being able to move my legs or arms, I never thought texting could cause such harm. I remember that night driving in my car, just sending a message and then seeing stars. Not stars, but headlights coming at me, and I thought briefly "How could this be?" I don’t know what happened next: all from just sending a text. I recall slowly opening my eyes and all of my family starting to cry. It seems I was in a coma for weeks and from what the doctor said my outlook was bleak. He said I’ll never walk or hug again as the tears started gathering on my chin. I couldn’t even wipe them away; it was the most terrifying day. Just one little text was all it took; just a glance down, one small look. Now I’ll never move up off this bed and thoughts of dying fill my head. I’ll never have kids or someone to love me; days filled with loneliness are all I see. I wish I could go back to that night and change it all to make things right. I can’t even **** myself; it’s what I wish I could do, all over sending that text to you.
 Apr 2014 florence clark
Dorothy
Green peppers
Red peppers
Onions
and shallots
Get ready for some intense flavor to hit your pallets


A splash of vinegar
Salt
Chives
And garlic
Your tongue will dance for joy and actually seem to frolic

Epis
Sos Pwa
Rice
And baked chicken
The taste buds in your mouth wont know what hit them

Four hours later and I've enriched in my culture
I'm almost like a new woman
Because today I learned to cook food from my parents native nation
The time and effort was so very worth it
And now I feel a little bit more Haitian
Creole Translations:
Epis = herbs and spices
Sos Pwa Rouge = Red bean sauce puree
When did sorry become throwaway?
When did remorse become a game to play?
When did I become an adult?
When did I lock myself in a vault?

When did life become so serious?
When did life become so meaningless?
When did you and I last cry?
When did we both ask why?

When did we re-evaluate our pain?
When did we measure our gain?
When did you and I remain,
Together,  forever, in emotion and shame?
© JLB
i say yes
because
i don't
have
anything
to
lose.

i say no
because
i don't
want to
lose
everything.
you understand. 20w
When they stripped me of the life in my bones
I looked to the stars,
and plucked the moon from its perch
with my lips.
And the rage in their fists
tried to pry it from my skull.
But they cannot win.
They may look down on us with their
hollow eyes that can do nothing but weep,
and their hungry mouths that spit ash.
But I know what hope is.
And They don't.
No matter how many times I am beaten
I swear that the birds that sing in my chest
will always be louder than them.
Tell me what holy is,
and I will tell you of the love in my veins.
Tell me why you hate so much,
and I will tear it apart with my shame.
I will split the night open with my words.
I will sweep up the ashes with my rage.
They cannot win.
Not when your eyes look through me like that.
And while you sew together my wings,
tell me of the love letters that God left
on your windowsill.
Tell me of the fists that left those scars.
When they finally bring me to the gallows,
make sure that the noose is made
from the strings of guitars.
Carve my spine into the heart of a tree.
Spread my ashes over the lips of the sea.
Tell me what holy is.
And I will take you to that river full of sin.
I will write my poetry in the snow with my bones.
Tell me where Gabriel is.
And I will clean the blood from his crippled wings.
I will be an immovable sky.
The mouth of the river that never ceases to sing.
They'll separate us with razor wire,
but a few cuts won't hold me back.
They'll scream at us with their empty taboos.
But the paintings I've got tattooed on my ribs
aren't black and white like their words.
I'm done hiding my heartbeat.
I want to taste the words that come off my tongue,
to paint with the dirt beneath my nails.
Say my obituary was written like a poem.
So that when God greets me at his gates,
he will tell me that I was alive.
That I wasn't empty like Them.
But I'm tired.
And I've walked one too many miles in my
own shoes.
But it's impossible to stop,
when you've got wings flapping in your chest,
and a heart that burns like a lantern.
Remember me like this.
Spouting words from the darkest corners
of my soul.
Words that stick to you like a lover's kiss.
It's a song.
A manifesto.
An epitaph that will stay burned in your eyes
until you blink away the tears.
I'll keep walking if you just carry me
on your back for a few short steps.
A couple of shallow breaths.
Just let me rest.
So that the next words that come out of
my mouth will be “I love you”.
And you'll see that the bruises on my back
are the notes of music.
Tell me what holy is.
So I can tell you why I keep moving.
So I can spread these wings you've built for me,
with the skin I've shed
and my broken bones.
And I'll teach you how to fly too.
Because life has no rhythm
unless you give it a beat.
Tell me what holy is.
And remember
that we
are not.
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