It’s 9:00 exactly
I’m laying in bed
This haiku didn’t help much

When I was younger
I knew I’d cry over nostalgia
When I got older
That certain songs would fill me with emptiness and a longing to sink my feet into
Which I once lived in the flesh
I’d experience moments and say I’ll remember this forever
All I have are the memories of promising I’ll remember
Not what I was really doing
Not what I was looking at in front of me who I was talking to about my pants or sharing a cigarette with
Just the feeling
Rushing through my body reminding myself that once day I’ll be old and won’t know this girl in front of me
But I hope she lives her life happy and that I made her night with my compliments and offerings of vices.
I remember the long hallways filled with people smoking and kissing till we had to go home
At 3 am to our friends houses with the chillest parents
I was such a little delinquent
And I loved to be out late in the middle of downtown laughing and walking sideways saying sorry I ******* can’t walk right ladies it’s just the way I am.
I was never a mean girl, just lived, loved to please my girls, make friends and tease boys

Tom kha fish soup
It helps me feel better when I’m sick
The delivery place isn’t answering
Their calls
And I’m left here with a sore throat
Alone with nobody to chat with
Not even the Thai food receptionist lady.
Empty stomach
Grueling over this takeout menu
I cleaned my side table off
Ready for this soup
I’m just sitting here
With bad posture and thinking about writing
So I’m writing how I feel
About that **** good
Hot and spicy Tom kha
Soup

He’s obsessed with his need for my comfort
and there is nothing I can do to keep him from the vile hatred that comes with falling out of love with me.
will he help himself the way he promised every night we lay alone kissing tears off of each other. Will he still think of me and drown it in pills every night that he hopes the bitter taste of it will wash mine away from his tongue.

Obsession washes over me and I forget that this isn’t how people love one another. I want an instant release of hand holding and making it somewhere sketchy. I’m misunderstood and have abandoned many men who thought they loved me because I’m alone.
They didn’t, that’s ok. I do, that’s better.

I’ll bite
Tell me you’re lying
Goodnight world
Alright?

The stuff under my bed
It collects dust
Forgotten
But protected by monsters