Fireflies and lullabies
Make me think of the past goodbyes
When I was young  and would lay in the grass
That’s when everything seem to last
The clouds would dance up above
With visions of rainbows in my head
This was before things were dead
Things were not cold
I didn’t have voices in my head
So damaged and decayed  
Crawling inside me ear is fear
I can feel it move feel it near
I have nightmares while I’m awake
I know something is trying to overcome me
Ripping at the very seams of what I’m made
Wanting to slash my skin to see how much I can take
With a spoonful at a time you consume me

Look at you with your peace sign necklace
And long skirts
You’re my favorite shade
Don’t give a **** what others think
You smell of summer grass with wildflowers in your hair
The blonde in your braids falling down your back
Graceful and kind
Your fingers strum that guitar
Listening to your voice makes me sound
You make my heart dance
Beauty that is raw and never misplaced
Kindred soul that never has escaped
You my love is real

The ink of the beast dissolving into the fabric of molecules
Spoonfuls of the ocean eroding my internal exhaustion
Incisions of affliction inscribing into my flesh
Vile anemic demise filling my lungs  with pebbles
A creek of whiskey snowflakes frosting my distress
Paralyzing my creativity and contemplating my death

Can we be free

Have unity

No war just peace

Accept others for who they are

Let everyone be real

Hold hands in church with the person next to you

Watch children grow teach them morals and beliefs

Held them  let them  become the future

So we could be proud

Educate one another about our backgrounds

Be proud of our color

Not to be ashamed because of our mothers

Love and embrace

Let everyone have a chance to be strong

Go to places and visit lost souls

The old man down the road who lost his wife

Lost his essence lost  his soul

Volunteer your time to help someone in a shelter

Be kind and be true

One day we will all leave this earth

And reside in a home together

Why not get along now

Lets recover

She ran to him with open arms spilling her soul of all it contains

She forgot about the laughter and focused on the tears

He was like old tumbleweeds in the dry desert heat

She was vibrant, fresh and sweet like wild flowers in the wind

A carefree soul that had mesmerizing eyes

His eyes never seem to reveal truth

Sadistic and cold afraid of ones soul

Not knowing what to do floating to the skies

She desired passion a simple touch

Or a unspoken word that meant a thousand things

To not be lonely at night that when you lay there

All you can do is chase the moon

My puritan my Romeo sort of speak

The man who makes one weak

This war that invaded all that I represent

And took away all the things I once believed

No sense of belonging

I'm hollow

Nothing exists inside of me

Dried wild flowers tumbling throughout the desert

Desolate and distant I cant seem to find myself

Moonstruck secrets spiral and bless
                            Tattered nests as the sea is breathing
                            Sunlight exhuming across frosted prayers
                            Perfect hilltops with valleys and wings
                             A  blue voice in long shadows
                             Drifting in clouds of peace
                            A silent haze made of stones
                            Flowers with scars will sail away

Wool eyes, pretty please I say
Spray paint my wedding dress
With my drug scarf tightly wrapped around me
You'll be my party hat
Crab apples rooting in the flask of my stomach  
With a tinfoil ring you purposed
My glass hands cracked
The smell of your aftershave curls my lip
Minuscule wombs carelessly flung in my suicide toolbox
My own blood has become my moisturizer

I shall dance in the morning light

Let you embrace me make it all right

Watch the snow trickle down into the yard

Having no disregard  

It destroys me the news we recieved

I don't know if I could handle living without you

You have been the solider that protected me so

I pray that you will never have to go

Everyone says he is the best they have

Very knowledgeable in his field

Do you think this one time he could be wrong ?

He isn't god

With me and the kids  is where you belong

I can't bear the thought of  losing you

My dearest friend

I may never laugh again

Or smile when I hear our song

Please this one time let the doctors be wrong

I keep thinking of the moments we have had

The ones that I replay over and over in my head

Watching you with the children  amazes me so

Your so full of patience and strength

Your the man I know

I needed you the moment I first layed my eyes on you

We had to make plans that I predicted wouldn't happen until we were old

Being 34 is to young to go

Letting you walk away is the hardest thing to do

I know baby your so tired of all of this

I believe in you and will tell the kids everynight

Sweet kisses I will miss

Some things I said  I will always regret

Fly with the angels

Drift into the clouds

One day I will come and be with you

Await for me

My  love will never cease

When I see you again you will know it's me

Dislimbed by piano wires, dissecting me in half
Collapsing  my rib cage
Leaving my heart unprotected
Mangled reasoning seeping distress
Stirring in the darkness, a hostage of my own
Ruptured and lifeless in a splintered state
Bound to you

In the room where I lie down watching the machines hooked up to you

Veins that  look like they could cry

I wonder if this is what it feels like being a victim

Somehow so unaware I wish it could end

They poke at you many times a day

Your insides eaten away

Medicines that are suppose to heal  they hurt and harm your spirit

Why do I feel like this is so unfair such a short time

In a world that suppose to be so big

Nothing to settle the true pain of whats inside my heart

The torment you endure daily

Comes with ease from you

I try to settle my mind with thoughts of being able and cured

My body is feeble not my mind

These eyes know more than you think they do

Dont let this old weathered face fool you

I am sharper than I look

The hallways are so long although they go nowhere

I close my eyes and dream of being young

Skating, running and being  foolish having fun

Moments that I  imagine so vividly and true

My friend in the bed next to me told me stories of war and hurt

Saving others lives and working the front line

Seeing people die right in front of your eyes make you aware

We talked about what life was in the good old days

We seen each other undressed and were not ashamed

At night time we would chat for hours on end

You were my only friend

I love and miss that old guy

A man comes in dressed in black

Has a gurney with a velvet cloth

They cover my old friend with just a sheet

Cover his eyes now he cant see

Pick him up with no gentleness

Just take him away like he was nothing

After he is gone I watch out the window

The hearse is gone yet the tracks from the gurney remain

Fresh in the snow two thin lines

That carried him away

Tommorow I will have someone new

In the mean time I wish I could go be with

Did you know I belong to you?
The  river that runs deep is drowning me  
This heart of mine is yours
In this anguish when everything is crumbling down
You can listen to the sound of my voice
I will take you there
Your inconceivable  I can’t get enough
The gentleness of your hands
The feeling of you bare
I’m a prisoner in this
Are you letting me go ?
Is it that simple to let it be ?
I need to look into those eyes as I enter you
I beg you I plead
When did you think its alright to jeopardize my soul?

I walk into the room that I know all too well

The floors are clean and people are in uniforms

Your bed is up against the wall

Pictures of us when we were younger hang on the walls

The quilt that you made lays astrew

I look at you your elegant neck

Your hair is pulled up with pins that I bought

Your body is fragile and you look so small

I still think your amazing

I had a call last night you took a fall

You forgot that your legs dont work anymore

I hope you remember my name today

Sometimes you are scared of me

My dear beloved wife

How I miss embracing you at night

Looking into your sweet loving eyes

I watch a part of you die everyday

I come here and feed you supper

Watching you struggle to eat

Forgetting whats a knife?

I just wish that I could take away the affliction

The one that's taken our lives

I need to go home now and let you get some rest

I will be back in the morning

Maybe tomorrow you will know me

Or recall my name

I touch you tenderly on your shoulders kiss you the same

My wife

Breaking, pressing, slipping beneath undeserving skin
Shadows inhaling secrets
Seeded wounds painted unconsciously on the landscape of me
Remains discovered beaten and burnt unspoken exhaustion
Strangled mumbles splintering my prospering expectations

What is a dream and what is real ?
I can’t understand the truth
Desire me or tolerate me
Fragile interior allows me
Reality don’t unsettle me it’s the unseen
As I come down from my insomnia high
I’m just a displaced trace of nothing that is shy

I knew him and he existed so quietly
I can’t see him yet I can  feel him
He is surrounding me everyday
Looking over me watching my children so silently yet so cautiously
Ensuring they are protected and remain innocent for as long as possible
I can  hear his voice in the raindrops and see his shadows in the darkness
Every know and then I can smell him and I recall  being a child
The time when I was  youthful and  carefree
When I had diminutive problems that seemed so large at the time
Yet you always comforted me and made me realize one day I would forget
The little things that didn’t matter anymore
Then I grew up and you were there in every corner of my heart
Sometimes we didn’t accord with each other yet that was okay
You taught me to be myself and even how to fight
Many times I disappointed you by  doing things I know you didn’t like
But we couldn’t separate because we were father and daughter
All the memories I have are like dust inside my heart and we are together
Yet so far apart
The sun don’t shine quit as bright as it use too
When you left you took a big piece of me with you

Absurd angry harmony
My empty pictures appear like drunken music
Full of surreal balance
Imagine every artist performing passion through procreation
An old **** canvas asking to paint a masterpiece
Living silhouettes turning into a symbol of experiment
A smear of sculptures sold by the starving
Hidden by the lies

Love is not easy it is like a complicated textbook full or rules and messages I cannot get
I don’t know what the reason for is but I don’t like to read it
So many times, I have tried to understand but always end up with unanswered questions
Why do you treat me so harsh why do you leave me in the dark?
I try to explore your heart and you leave mine in two
We have made passionate love I have touched you so much I know the outline of your beautiful strong face by heart
The shape of your lips and the way they intertwine in mine
As soon as we do this you run
Hiding in the dark with your heart in the palm of your hand
Secrets that lie with you and sometimes it’s your excuse
Say you love me and everything will be ok
I am here with my soul bare and my ******* exposed
Where do I go when you have no soul?
Romance makes me feeble and I will melt into you
Therefore, like a book I do not know all the rules
I try to figure it out every single day
What is love and why does it make me feel this way?
Is it when you roar at me with anger?
Or when you touch me softly
Is it harsh words or moments when we agree with one another?
I do not know the definition of love
It is when I cry myself to sleep
Or when I am swollen and my eye is black from you
Maybe that its
Remember when you would wake me in the middle of the night to look at the stars
You would wrap your arms around me and hold me tight
At that moment I thought everything was right
You would braid daises together for me to wear in my hair
I would playfully dance around outside that moment felt right
I feel broken I feel like I am half alive
I would read to you late at night my poetry or Poe
Candles would dance next to the bed and I would lay with you
You would read my palm or tarot cards it would tell us of an unsettling future
Yet I did not believe because I have even reached the first page in the book of love
If only I had known I would have never read that book
There would be no rules and love would be easy
You would undress me before you even met me
No surprises no rough hands just take me as I am
Love me for being childish get lost in my eyes
Hold me like no tomorrow
Just do not break me I do not like to feel half-alive
Kiss me and love me once again before things got broken
Before my souls come undone

I may not be delicate or sweet

I am not thin or tall

What I am is unique

Not afraid to show

What's  important

What makes my soul

Is it the way my blue eyes sparkle

The way my body dances when your near  

Or is it something more sincere like a smile or a look  

Maybe its that you make me feel beautiful inside

That I am far from perfect except in your eyes

You see me from a whole different point of view

That in your world I am the princess the dream come true

But deep inside my very spirit are things that only  you discover

And with that I shall adore you like no other