You call
Leave a message
"I'm in a fall"
Terrifying presage
"I ****** up"
Pulse quickens
"Drunk from deaths cup"
Blood thickens
"I've took to many"
Stomachs turning
"My prognosis is deadly"
Heart burning
"I love you friend"
Hands shaking
"This I did not intend"
Dialing faster
Message over
No answer

I have vanity,
It's the only thing that masks me,
It's the only thing that protects me,
It's the only thing that disguises me from societies judgement,
It's the only thing that my mom can't take away,
It's the only thing that I can accumulate,
It's the only thing that I can create and call it my own,
I have vanity,
It's the only thing that you can't take,

I just filled out a paper two weeks ago,
One question was,
"Are you depressed,"
If yes , are you suicidal,"
I wrote yes to both,
Yesterday I got a letter back,
They said that they were not able to cover me,
Their reason,
I was a liability to commit suicide,
So I never got what I wanted.

Let thy soul be free,
Let soar through the calamity,
Let ye know who dare catch my soul,
Let them who painfully walk the earth,
Let it be known that the end is near,
Let them know physically,
Let them know mentally,
Let them know emotionally,
Let them know spiritually,
Let them know,
Let them know that I am coming.

I don't ride a bike,
I don't drive,
It's better for me and everyone else around me,
At least that's what people tell me,
I believe them,
"You can't adapt quickly enough to situations,"
I wear glasses because I crash into stuff without them,
I break everything that I own by accident,
I really don't mean to,
I don't drive,
I won't ever drive.

You there,
look over there,
What is that coming,
Wait it's a person,
Who is it,
Why he's glowing,
It's a man,
He's wearing a mask,
A gas mask,
It's black and red,
I can't see his eyes,
He's coming closer,
Who are you,
"I am what I am,
I am who I am,
I am for what I am,
This is who I am."

-this is a character that I have created in a story.

This is the tapestry of my soul
sewed in  sweat, trials and tears
each stitch a reminder of the vanished past when every episode
stood as a testament of life's most tempestuous years

but  I've resurrected from the ruins
of time and every scene I survey  now with serenity
even in the darkest of night
the brightest of light illuminates from my treasured tapestry.

Sometimes I'll go for walks
long walks
down long roads.

Sometimes I'll have a nap
not a long nap
and just dream.

Sometimes I'll read a book.
a big book
one that takes me weeks.

Sometimes I'll phone a friend
a close friend
one I left behind.

And other times I'll just sit and think
for hours
about you.