I met a girl,
She said "You seem real."
As opposed to fake I guess
and still I'm left to cry over you;
my irreparable battle wound.
I will love you forever

You see, you,
Mean more to me
than meaning itself.
Without you I doubt everything,
I question my health.
Feeling like I bettered I for you

Guess it's more of an IOU,
I never should have felt again.
You reawakened my heart,
you reopened pathways
misused in my brain

Johnny Cash said
"I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel."
He concluded;
that only the pain was real
It feels as though the hurt
is all that's left

But when I look,
Through the old photos it shows.
If pain was all that's left;
I wouldn't cry and this much I know.
The bygone happiness puts me
in a feeling sorry for myself mode

A few weeks ago,
We were happier than ever.
Now I'm drinking again,
just like you said I would.
We moved too fast and I
do the opposite to what I should

Irreplaceable!
I'd like to pretend I'm numb,
(RIP Chester Bennington)
dumb or even done but I'm
ready to be sick and to have fun
and have love!
That's one thing I'm reminded is
I can't deny the love

It's true enough,
To say that I'll never be the same
Eden said;
"Things will be better in America,
heard the streets are gold there
maybe I can fly you out this place
someday."

Longing to be with my best friend
and he's found his perfect end
and I'm done with the pretend;
and I need an angel sent,
a figure of faith, a picture of health
someone kind to keep me sane

I am so hungry
I would lick your
***** cutlery clean
and my eyes still
won't adjust to the
changing light conditions  

I'll also be offering my
services every evening
this week because
I am absolutely
  strapped

No I won't be
your rent boy
but I will
clean your boots
and wash your car
...and sleep with your sister

You see, pride can't
diminish
when it's already
gone
so I'll be your masseuse
I'll dry clean your thong

If you can't
reach me via phone
I'm either dead
or making progress
feel free
to leave a message

I saw a man on the bus today,
he looked like your sort.
Dark skin with darker hair and
very fine prominent cheekbones,
with just enough beard to look
scruff but smart.

Ah, to be scruff but smart,
dapper, suave and rough.
As he brushes a tuft of his hair
behind his left ear
I smile to myself creepily.
I'm not afraid to admit
I was thinking about how
I could write all this.
Then about why I thought
that he'd tickle your fancy.

I guess I didn't really.
I suppose I took to my own liking
and assumed he'd
look good next to you somehow.
I can't say I know why.
Though I believe
a straight man is entitled
to an opinion in this case.

The same way a woman might
talk about how their waitress
had stunning eyes or
wonderful hair that shines
without being even
the slightest bit greasy.

It would seem as though,
the cycle is never ending
and perhaps it truly is.
Trading paper sterling
just for a life worth living.
Digits and decimals,
computerised gold,
credit checks and loans.
It's breaking my soul.
Never once in school--
did they say I was a fool.
Yet clearly,
they took me for one.

I can't be more like you
can't even be less like me
stop asking me personal questions
I don't wanna make a scene
don't need to treat em like ****
to keep em keen, if you love her
the way that I'm feelings obscene
but I love her
saving myself '*** there is no other
been thinking about nights up the under covers
there's a carnal instinct that can't budged
don't feel I know you but feel I know enough
being hopeful, wishing you'll remain untouched

...And I remember the stuff
we said the last time I graced you
I got angry and shouted "I ******* made you!"
I let despair cloud my judgment
and then proceeded to disgrace you
I said I'd never hit you--
never said I was above it
my hearts closed forgetting the loving
but if you asked me now what love is
I'd tell you it's creation after destruction
it's peace after disruption
it's feeling whole with bodies touching
it's feeling empty without them
and you wishing you were something

How could I forget
the morning's sunrise,
the evening's sunsets,
tangled in bed with you?

I always wished that
there was a way
the breath you
breathed in to me,

could be kept forever--
keep me afloat forever.
You gave me life,
a gift I cannot return.

In the June mornings,
the sun burns bright
and calmly wakes me
from dreaming of you.

Whilst the warm nights
are my heart's torment.
Sleepless turning,
unable to watch you sleep.

I would die for you
I would move to the other side
of this planet just to be with you
I would change my life for you
as I surely cry for you
even when you don't need me
and you never asked for tears
but I'm generous with them
with so many to spare

I will not change for you
because I don't need to
I will just continue to
better myself for me
and be the man that you want
the thing that you need
and hope you come back

As I know
it is me that you love
I can feel it when you smile
when your eyes lock with mine
I wish I could feel like that
every second of every day
how long has it been darling?
you still give me butterflies