I am so hungry
I would lick your
***** cutlery clean
and my eyes still
won't adjust to the
changing light conditions  

I'll also be offering my
services every evening
this week because
I am absolutely
  strapped

No I won't be
your rent boy
but I will
clean your boots
and wash your car
...and sleep with your sister

You see, pride can't
diminish
when it's already
gone
so I'll be your masseuse
I'll dry clean your thong

If you can't
reach me via phone
I'm either dead
or making progress
feel free
to leave a message