If I was a mountain

That soared towards the sky,

With craggy snow caps

And stormy grey eyes-



Then you'd be the clouds

That swaddled my peak,

That silenced my thunder

When I tried to speak.



If I was the earth

The desert, in fact:

With arid dry soil

And mud, baked and cracked-



You'd be the rain

The downpour that soothed;

The balm to my bruises,

Relief to my wounds.



If I was the Moon

In the indigo night,

With stars as my blanket

And silver; my light-



Well you'd be the Sun

Just always behind

That lent me your glow

And caused me to shine.

I wonder if you’d want to know
I named all of my demons after you and
they haunt me in my sleep

when I was 14 I fell asleep in April and dreamed of bones and
I’m not sure I’ve really ever woken up since

when I lost 5 pounds I never saw a difference

when I lost 10 my mother said I was looking good

when I lost 20 she told me to stop and handed me food
and I became anemic

when I lost 25 I stopped drinking anything because
I felt water had calories

when I lost 30 my mother held me on her lap
and held my bones together for me

when I lost 35 I started fainting every morning and
the doctors could no longer easily find my blood pressure

when I lost 40 people started to stare and food made me cry

when I lost 45 it hurt to walk and to lay down
it hurt to eat
it hurt to breathe and
I started throwing up my empty stomach

the mind plays tricks on those that decide
nourishment is not needed

Eat.

I've got imagination
like knives
cutting with surrealism

Humor
like lightning bolts
blinding with white teeth

Creativity
like a crossbow
loaded with ideas and will
instead of arrows

Kindness
like pistols
my bullets fast
as two teens falling in love

My mind
like a grenade
one I throw out
and keep myself locked somewhere else

My weaponry doesn't look very dangerous,
but that's because they cut somewhere else.
Because I **** them with my heart.

My mind is divided in cages
It's been that way throughout the ages

I'm becoming numb so with you I am sharing
My view of the world if there's anyone caring

I set my cages out side by side
You may be surprised but this I do find

there’s a cage for responsibilities
it’s boring but necessary

I have one for my family
To whom I love though they're a bit ordinary

there’s one for my friends
the weirdest of all
weirder that dividing my brain in cages, after all

and of course there’s one for love
I think this one’s retired
though there’s still a burning desire
that keeps me from getting it terminated

So I'd say my brain’s complicated
hard to get into and out of

and it’s locked and so well protected
that my advise to you its to stay unrelated
cause if you enter there’s several obstacles you’ll be facing

first there’s a gas that’s overtaking
its called humor and its mutilating

then there’s a wall
curved like a smile
but faker than Halloween bile

but if you’ve surpassed this obstructions
my congrats to you
but sorry you’re about to get ejected too

my advice again, my friend
it’s to stay out of this
and leave me to my numbness to recede in peace