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 Oct 2017 Isabelle
Jeo
I constantly try to find a way to move on
I even found someone better than you
She genuinely cares about people
She tries her hardest in everything she does
And she doesn’t try to make an excuse
She owns up to her mistakes
She’s sweet and loving and makes me feel whole
Well
Not quite like you did
I always find myself smiling at her just because she reminds me of you
When she gets jumbled with her math like you
When she starts cooking like you
When she makes weird faces like you
When she dances around like you
She makes me smile
Because she reminds me of you
I miss feeling..
I miss you..
 Oct 2017 Isabelle
ryn
Wings
 Oct 2017 Isabelle
ryn
.
I dream of the night

That I'd sprout new wings

I'd then take to the sky

In search of new things


I'd flap them hard

I'd crest over the moon

I'd map out the stars

I'd claim the boon


But the wings, feathers they shed

More till first sun's beam

I'd falter back into this shell

Till it's time for a new night's dream


.
 Oct 2017 Isabelle
ryn
Amiss
 Oct 2017 Isabelle
ryn
Something is wrong,
something's amiss today.

Sun shines duller,
and everything seems so ill-fitting.

Walking in all directions,
failing to find the way.

It's beyond this fog...
I know but I'm just not seeing.

It's like a rope,
tied in a noose and knows no fray.




Something's amiss...
and I think I'm losing.
Only when we become a Mother
Do we truly understand
How much pain comes
With unconditional love,

It is only then
That we realise
How much it hurts
To be rejected
When push comes to shove.

To be taken for granted
Unintentionally,
Or not,

To be disrespected,
Misunderstood,
And talked-down-to, alot.

Only when we become a Mother
Do we fully comprehend
That our Mothers
Did the best that they could,

They, too, just like us,
Had their own issues
To deal with;
They didn't burden us,
We wouldn't have understood!

They cried just as much
As they smiled--if not more!
They gave more than
They ever received,

They placed everyone's needs
Before their own--since the day
That we were conceived.

They held back tears
Whenever we upset them,

They died inside
Whenever we neglected them
And disrespected them.

Whenever we patronised them -
Whenever we were condescending,

Whenever we blammed them -
Whenever we took them for granted -
When we gave no thought
Nor tried to be understanding.

They only ever wanted
The best for us -
They gave of themselves
Completely;
Something nobody else
Was ever capable of,
Or willing to do!

Only when we lose our Mothers
Do we live with the regret,

A true blessing,
A pure love we were given--
Irreplaceable;
Our first real love,
The one love
We will never,
Ever,
Replace or forget!

By Lady R.F. (C)2017
Dedicated to our precious Mothers.
Angels without wings!

And, whilst I am aware
That we weren't all blessed with such giving Mothers, I'm certain that even those whom weren't had a deep intention to be so, but life got the better of them.
 Oct 2017 Isabelle
harlon rivers
You followed down through the gathered pages
to the  labyrinth that leads back through the changes
A long and twisted line of unmapped rivers,
*** holed low-roads and tattered mileposts
glancing homeless back-alleys as dark as lonely crossroads

Past the broken wings that fell from skyward treetops
scattered feathers amongst rose petals wilted
at the hand of tear stained faded photos
of frozen black and white faces;
hidden ghosts in the closet that fell from grace

The pathway narrows where the traces dissipate
passing under burning bridges, beneath locked stairwells
A fickle feather floating upon rivers ragging
like the hubris disconnectedness of time rolling out to sea ―
Shadows growing darkest as you reach the blackest silence
and you kept the answers to all the questions at arms length
hidden in the darkness ― where you saw love disfigure me

It was then and there I knew I'd dreamed of someone like you
looking for someone more than I could ever be
Just an unsated curiosity,    trying to see beyond
your own misunderstanding,   to feel and touch
an unknown depth beyond  reach

As sunset pales the distantness, the night is yours alone
when  tomorrow's  morning  rain
hangs  on  the  falling  leaves       ―       I’ll  be  gone
Just a wayfaring loner in a lonely world

Where rivers are only water
                                         and love was once a flowing river
I thirst to swallow ― 
                                         to wash away these tracks of my tears ...


                                      rivers ... 2017
Post Script:

'I can't remember all the times I tried to tell my myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass'
nod to Counting Crows---Long December

Giving up and letting go are different
and yet the results are often the same;
at the end of the day you realize,
the things you thought mattered ―
and it’s easier being lonely ... alone

"I tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn't even matter." Chester Bennington. (2017) RIP

The tracks of my tears
Written by:  h.a. rivers
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