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  Sep 2019 cleann98
laura
there's a lot more
to being dead i suppose
when there was going to be
two dents in the bed
but there's only me in it tonight
weight.
cleann98 Aug 2019
take care to never
confuse magic and
illusions in your mind...

you only call it
a lowly 'illusion'
when someone else
is fooling you

but it's always
ever been 'magic'
when you're the one
robbing yourself blind.
'tis weird right? like we can grow into the disillusionment from smokes and mirrors but still call it magic as if a mystical lexical escapism from the bittersweet fact that it's also called trickery.

nonetheless, thanks for reading^
  Aug 2019 cleann98
Anne Scintilla
Do little birds
hesitate,
to jump
from nests
perched like cliffs?

Do little birds
pray,
to ricochet
from the ground
towards the clouds?

Or, do little birds
learn,
to flap
feeble wings;
a desperate plight to survive?
here's a short reflection on how we grow.
is it by necessity or by fate, that we are
who we are?

i haven't been able to write for months now.
it feels right to be back here.

a.s.
  Aug 2019 cleann98
laura

finally seeing a balance
in my bank account
smoking under the last
hours of the sun's reign
feel like i fell out of love
like i'm losing a part of myself
like my mom or dad died
she said boys like me
are bad ones
now that we're deeper into July
she said boys like me
make her go sad
eventually
  Aug 2019 cleann98
laura
txt below
haven't been so foolish in a minute
maybe it's something that you did
the beautiful and blurriness blossoms
against your frosted window
as I stand at your porch
watching you get up from your chair
reminds me of home a little bit
when i return too late
and get in trouble
  Jul 2019 cleann98
欣快
hit with the brush of heat and the super likes
i light my cigarette and lean on my phone and
a 90s volkswagen parked next to a brand new prius
tell me don't make me wait forever, superman
is this what you want, things are changing all around us
and i could have sworn i was doing okay (finally) when
i was without you, before i even noticed your eyes
i was with trevor after class and i could've sworn
you opened your locker after i caught you staring at me

today i walked outside without your hand in mine
and i didn't know what to do with it at all
not speak of such conviction that i think the same thing
that i could be better not knowing what you're doing
who you're seeing, who your sleeping with in cold calculation
the revenge of symbols rearranging themselves
into a broken heart, summer's round the corner
and i'm wasting away thinking about you again and again
  Jul 2019 cleann98
欣快
i know there's still bits and pieces of you that aren't quite undead yet
felt almost impressive to mean something
or somebody who can alter your possessiveness, left
the wedding ring and pretending to be old on your dresser
lay out and fade away star-born reflected off morning waves
the highs and lows, most have been so low and you standing high
getting into my phone and claiming to protect me from other people
bringing your guns out for the summer sun again, sabatoging
all my connections to the outside world, i still wonder why
you bother teasing me and thinking this is more than a charade
but there's still got to be something inside you that still cares
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