To wake in a smooth sway, I wish I was by the bay.

Fishing poles an boat.

Bates on hooks lines cast out, Little fish big fish.... O how I wish I was by the bay.

I'm listening,
Just to hear her say I am her bae.

click, click, click*
Typing away letters in the dark
One for mom who never really saw
One for dad who was never there at all

click, click, click
Writing letters in the dark
One for my sister who ran away
One for my brother who had no choice to stay

click, click, click
Letters in the dark
Dripped with blood
Coated in tears
Letters in the dark

What if I told you, that I am not like the others?
What if I told you, I have no love for myself, and no love for another?
What if I told you about what I hide under my sleeves?
What if I told you I wanted to permanately leave?
What if I told you that my anxiety was going through the roof?
would you believe me, or would you ask for proof?
would you judge, would you care?
do you have your own secrets you would like to share?
Would you help me, would you cry
if one day I said goodbye?
are you listening?  
are you here?
Now that you know, I don't live in fear..

Swimming the English Channel,
struggling to make it to Calais,
I swam into Laura halfway across.
My body oiled for warmth,
black rubber cap on my head,
eyes hidden behind goggles,
I was exhausted, ready to drown,
when I saw her coming toward me,
bobbing up and down between waves,
effortlessly doing a breaststroke,
heading for Dover.  Treading water
I asked in French if she spoke English,
and she said, "Yes, I'm an American."
I said, "Hey, me too," then asked her out for coffee.