Our best night was the night my phone broke.
We had to message each other on Facebook
so we looked through each other's old pictures
and bragged about our relationship status to our friends.
That was the night I called you from the home phone
and I laughed when you told me you once ate human flesh
and I laughed harder when you said
you're supposed to be scared.
That was the night I sent you a poem I found online
and you replied with the most honest profession of love
I have ever heard without using the word love.
That was the night we stayed awake until 5am
even though you had to get up at 6.
I could've sworn I loved you.
I could've sworn you loved me, too.

Tell me...
Are we falling apart like a pastry in your fingers?
Like a lost receipt in the washing machine?

Are we falling away like a thousand year old shooting star?
Like cottonwood seeds in summer?

Is our love dying like Romeo and Juliet's?
Like the symbiosis of the bees in genetically modified fields?

Are we melting to nothing like cotton candy in your mouth?
Like plastic left beside a fire, rotten and corroded?

Are we falling apart like I feared?
Or can we stay strong and figure out
What the hell we will do with our life together?
Will we stay in stress and silence?
Will you continue not to look me in the eyes?
Will you continue to kiss me like there is something wrong?
Will you think that I am a sin? A *****?
Will you be scared for me when I fall apart again?
Or will you fall away and care more about what is for dinner that day?
Will you lie to me when you stop loving me?
Will you feel obligated to stay because of my
Mind killing me from the inside out?

I am wheat
I cry, I cry
Again
You leave your dead
At my feet
Oh why, oh why

At Gettysburg
We cried
Again, again
They rose and died
Below our stalks
They lie, they lie

From Stalingrad
To Leningrad
One million dead, one million dead
The Panzers came
Wheat fields aflame
They burned, they burned

And once again
You leave your dead
Ukraine, Ukraine
Oh, Putin's shame
The innocent lie
In wheat, in wheat.

r ~ 7/19/14

I don't know where
        I'm going
    or quite exactly
            where I want to be.

             I just know that
my feet keep moving,
                  my heart keeps beating,
      and there's nothing
              standing
            in my way.