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 Feb 2015 EmptySadness
effaced
ive done this all for him,
and he doesnt even see.
how pathetic can i be?
but i love him you see.
i really shouldn't feel this way,
without him i feel a slow decay rotting me   a
                                                                ­                  w
                                                                ­                       a
                                                               ­                            y...
i dont want to be this way.
everyone that i love has hurt me,
the ones that i will forever love have hurt me the worst...
i havent seen my mother in 2 years.
i havent touched his skin, like those times late night spent.
i wonder where all these things that i loved went,
and why it was replaced with aching pain
coursing
through
my
very
dead
but
very
alive
veins.
 Feb 2015 EmptySadness
effaced
mommy...
so much has happened since they took us away.
all the bad things were blamed on you.
im sorry for that, it was just easier instead of telling the truth.
mommy...
im a horrible person, but this you already knew, and you still loved me.
i cut myself, and i dreamed of... leaving forever.
but you still loved me, you're the only one.
mommy...
i haven't seen you in two years, and they expect me not to see you for the next four.
mommy...
i need you.
mommy...
i miss you.
mommy...
i will forever love you...
 Feb 2015 EmptySadness
effaced
my day was great.
until i came home...how sad.
distance makes my feelings unclear
you're 400 miles away yet you feel so near
it seems impossible that a love so strong
can exist and be felt over a distance so long
i know we mightn't ever meet
but without you
i know i would feel
**incomplete
distance changes everything
Drowning,
Deep down,
Flooding inside,
Facing life,
Feeling as if I had no say,
And feeling as if I had no life,
Drowning,
Deep Down,
No feelings inside,
Nor the outside,
Broken,
Physically,
Mentally,
Emotionally,
Drowning,
Dee­p Down,
It's all coming to an end,
Scars,
And more scars,
Inside and out,
No one to save me,
No one to help,
Drowning,
Deep down,
My wrist are flooding,
My brain is exploding,
And it's all simply about to come to an end,
Drowning,
Deep down,
No feeling in my body,
No feeling in my life,
Is there a meaning in being alive,
Drowning,
Deep down..
#how #I #Feel
 Jan 2015 EmptySadness
effaced
you see me.
you see what you want in me.
but you do see me too.
and you choose to ignore me.

they know, they just choose to ignore it. im sorry that you think that a little jesus will help... i wont. you think that all this is from being a "sinner" or from not believing. ***** you, because you know that this is not something i can change, yet you tell me, it's all in the mind-set. you can change this if you really want to. god will help. if there was a god. this world wouldn't be as bad. and even if there is a god. he's selfish and demanding and no one loves someone who all they do is demand, demand, demand. i cant help it that you are all stuck on some god and think that he is going to make everything alright. ha. you're sorely mistaken darling. i didn't up and decide, oh im going to want to die, and im going to want to hate my life, and im going to want to be sad for un-seen reasons. im going to make myself find it hard to have fun and live and be happy. if that is what you think i do to myself. ***** you.
the poem at the top made me vent... the vent at the bottom is to show what made me write this poem...
 Jan 2015 EmptySadness
SAM
Boys kiss boys
And girls kiss girls
And boys and girls kiss

Get over it.
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