-you’re also like too pretty

-u make me too happy

a follow out of the blue
whats a year when its true
friendship or love
wheres the line?
can we ignore what was once there
resist the
irresistible

u said u hoped i would text
i said i hoped you would respond
i didnt say i dreamed of you the night i texted
not for the first time i’ll admit
but this time it was different

i was stuck. no way out.
or through.
or around.
out of the blue a doorbell rings and im opening the door
and falling into your arms

I woke to your message
mere hours later im somehow
a year back
(i really didnt fight that hard though)

my heart aches for love
to be understood and cherished
held in the highest and most deepest of regards
i miss that feeling
i really did miss you you know

every turn a knew reminder
every reminder a painful stab of what used to be..
so-
right

but was now so wrong

i lay here
in one of few sweatshirts i have left
a bastardized relic
of the shrine i used to possess
wondering if this time
it’ll last

-ps universe: extra pretty please?

iv been going crazy waiting for you

fun for the sake of fun
forgetting for the sake of forgetting
*** for the sake of ***

all is fair in love and-
no
nothing is fair

take not just what you are given
but what you can take
if you dont they will

where should i wear my heart?
my cheek?
my sleeve?
i think i always choose wrong

tell me truthfully:
does it ever end well?

Back and forth back and forth,
Never knowing always caring
Am I to fat, what is my worth?
Is the mirror lying?

Do I look slutty, do I look prudish
Is my hair frizzing up?
The boys are acting kind of rudish
Will I always be stuck in this rut?

I thought I look good today
But then I saw the mirror
I almost felt good today
But now my mind is clearer.

I wish that everybody would just be quiet
And listen to what the birds had to say.

The human race can be so insensitive
But the worst part is we don't even know we're doing it

We crawl through our meaningless lives
Pretending like we know what we're doing

Apparently, we're the most intelligent of our time
I think that should be put up for debate

Have you ever thought about what the ladybugs would say?
Of course not, because that would be crazy

Every single person sees themselves as above at least one thing in life
don't even try to deny it

How do we constantly live with so much drama?
I swear it's getting to my head

Just once in my life, I'd like to witness true silence
Enough to hear the sound of my own thoughts

The one question that keeps me up at night

leaves me more confused than I originally started out

what makes most sense

in this world filled with lies

if you really think about it

everything in the world stems down to one word

if anyone answered it they would be recognized worldwide

but then what?

have we finally discovered all their is to know?

is that it?

the end to our supposed suffering?

honestly id rather it a mystery

the human race left to fathom the unfathomable

it leaves a bit of a tang to the air

with a single word hanging over the heads of everyone

I bet the answers right on the tip of our noses

but were to busy digging into the ground

you honestly think you'll find it their?

we call ourselves the smartest of our time

another question were left to ponder

the infamous why

I wish I could love like before
with no troubles or worries
about secret intentions.

All along you planned to break me
to play with my carefully guarded heart
then throw it on the floor.

I thought you were just like me,
Innocent and sweet
gentle and kind.

How could you turn into such a monster?
Abandoning your old ways
turning into the one thing I feared the most.

You think that was bad?
You should hear what I have said about myself.

Being careless is ok,
as long as your careful
Being hypocritical is fine,
as long as you dont lie
Telling the truth is the right thing
as long as it doesn't hurt anybody
Asking for help is perfect,
as long as you dont need it
Falling in love is only natural
as long as you dont fall to deep
Convince the people your attached
but stay detached
Make sure you seem like someone your not
just to keep them on their toes

I tell them what they want to hear
they smile and move on
never stopping to think twice
about the crooked smile that's been playing on my face

Oh the good it would have done them
to pay a little more attention
at that evil glint in my eyes
I wish I could have told them, alas, whats done is done

If only I could have told them
but what fun would that of been
once they know my secret, theirs no one to be fooled
i'd be caged up and studied like a bird

Undergoing lengthy hours of boredom
while people stare and gawk
at the demon that lies before them
so I must keep myself to myself, no one can ever know

The only secret I've ever kept, is the darkest of them all
you think I go to bed at night
but why would I sleep at night if that's when evil rules?
being bad is so much more fun than the alternative

Instead of going to church on Sundays, I burn them down
no one glances twice at the sinister look in my eyes
they mistake my cruel words for sarcasm, my smirk for a smile
the things they don't know, could easily be the death of them

The answers written on my tombstone
*here lies a hidden demon

If only the good die young
Does that make me a terrible person?
Should I be on my knees begging for forgiveness?
Since i didn't die as a child, instead got to enjoy my life?
i'm sorry I don't cry myself to sleep at night, for having a beating heart
Thats just not the way I was raised
I was taught to embrace the small moments, instead of wishing I was dead
So again let me express my sorrow for having a happy life
For one must live in sorrow, since I am a horrid person
But what is the point of dying young, if we were promised a lifetime?
Even though our world has many problems, i'm glad I get to see them all work out
I want to go to college and have a good job, raise children with a loving husband
Is that really to much to ask?
My mother is my role model, but since she's still alive
Your telling me I don't even have her to look up to?
Excuse me for my rudeness, but that's an idiotic thing to say
For all mothers are amazing, do you know how much work they do?
What about my baby sister,
Should I be praying that she die? And never live to see her first birthday?
Again,please pardon my manners, but who ever came up with that is an awful person
That probably lived to be 200, which would insult them to the fullest extent
If only the good die young.

Big crowds
Sweaty palms
White face
Blurry vision
Speaking aloud
Only air
Falling down
Passing out
Hospital nurses
Diagnosing problems
Only one
Social anxiety.

My mother tells me its not normal
To be so afraid to talk
She tells me im becoming antisocial
And we cant have a freak in our house
So just open your mouth and words will come out
Dont make me do this the hard way
social interaction is a word I fear like the devil
She takes me to parties clubs and more
Paying no attention to the white that has spread throughout my body
I raised my hand in class today
The teacher stared at me in shock, forgetting to call on me
When I opened my mouth to say the words
Nothing came
Im told to just get over it
Nobody likes an antisocial girl
I try so hard it hurts
Suddenly im shaking
My hands are clammy
My voice is air
My breathing is staggered
My head is spinning
My vision is blurry
And im told to try more
What I do isn't enough
Being quiet is unacceptable.
My mother tells me its not normal
to be so afraid to talk

Our love is like a drug
Holding me captive in your arms
Dragging me in with the smile in your eyes
I couldn't escape if I wanted to.
The way I keep coming back
The way you keep welcoming me.
Our love is everlasting,
It will never  be cut short
No guns or girls could ruin this.
Were far to strong for such folly things.
Well be together till the end of time.

She longed to see the world
To see the far off places
Lithuania sparked her interest, as did Europe as well as France
Places so far from home, she could just start everything over
Everything could change, all her worry's would be forgotten
She could finally know the meaning of peace
No more chaos, no more lies
learning several languages so she knew she had her options
If she ever needs a quick getaway it can easily be achieved
Once shes old enough shell leave and never look back
forgetting about her hometown
The desolate place where she grew up.

I wish I were as foolish as him to think we could ever work
But I know deep down it would only bring pain.
He doesn't seem to understand
That were to different, the feeling in his heart is lust and nothing more.

For a split second I let myself believe his words,
Then I was jolted back to reality
To him begging me for a chance
Me desperately fighting the tears that threatened to spill when I shook my head.

I had never seen a man cry until that night
The tears spilling from his eyes were like fragments of his soul
being violently torn from him.
He was shaking when he looked down to me, I will never forget the look in his eyes.

Broken hearts were only for people who were in a relationships,
Thats what I had always thought.
But when I saw the way he clutched at his chest,
Its like I could see his heart throbbing inside, threatening to stop any second.

I couldn't bring myself to walk away, although I knew I must
It was like he understood the conflict going through my head.
He silently peered into my eyes, that were now filling with tears
Their was a sort of understanding that took place then, I felt it in my bones.

I remember this as the first night we really saw each other,
I thought it would also be that last.
Little did I know that we would meet a year later, at a dance in town
We danced the night away, never saying a word.

We both remembered our last encounter, I could see regret in his eyes,
And knew he saw the same in mine
At the end of the night we had only said two words
I do.

Words can mean a lot,
To someone who understands them.
They can be used as weapons
Manipulating and twisting the minds of others,
Until they no longer live their own lives.
Or they can be turned into a riddle,
Hiding answers and secrets
In a way so cleverly put
It can drive a soul to madness.
Sometimes their used simply,
Which can be a good or bad thing,
depending on how you look at it.
Truths uncovered with no games or tricks,
Looking the guilty straight in the eye.
Some are used frequently, so they pass us bye without a backwards glance,
But the most special ones are used sparingly,
Delicately placed in one way or another
So we never stop pondering, on the magic that are words.

Lock your window,
Keep it shut.
Closed at night,
No one to trust.

When you close your eyes to sleep at night
You see me in the darkness
Playing with all my fairy friends when you stay just out of sight
I think you have become a sort of empress,
Determined to forget
All the fun times we had together when you were just a kid.
I wonder why you stopped believing
When their was still a lifetime ahead
Plenty of fun was still to come, the whole world at our fingertips
But then our universe altered.
You didn't sing songs or dance in the rain, your dreams were all forgotten
Penny's stayed in your pockets, nevermore thrown in pretty looking fountains.              
I guess you decided it was time to grow up,
But that doesn't mean you must completely move on
Every now and then its still ok to step into our fairy world
So join me on our long lost search for dragons
I know your favorite tree is waiting
Were all wondering were you went
So please, I beg of you, just for one more night, meet me in the woods
And we can yell and dance and sing our sacred songs
till the lights burn out and were left in pitch black
The kind that chills you to the bone, but leaves you wanting more.
Just stop bye when your back in town
At least leave us a little visit
We still have all the teacups made of leaves, and the plates from wood on the ground
We haven't forgotten a single thing, we just need you to remember
Even when your old and grey, we´ll still be her
Its never to late to relive childhood fantasies
Their are still so many fun things to do, but only one way to go about it,
The secret to fairies, dreams, and magic only is one word
Just one leap, one jump, one step.
All you have to do, to bring us back to you....
Believe.

First days aren't very fun
If you don't know anyone,
So walking alone through the halls
No one will catch her when she falls.

The other girls are mean to her
But nobody seems to care
She tries to pick herself back up
From the floor on which she had dropped.

If this wasn't hard enough
Back home things just get more rough
Her mother is running low on time,
So she alone must pay the monthly fines.

Now all alone in this world
Her mother died in the bed she was curled
Desperately trying to find get way,
Flowers bloom from her late mothers grave.

She buried her out in the back
So nobody knows of her predicament
She decides that soon she to must go,
Were the rivers of honey flow.

Now she's with her mom again
Were she no longer must fight for bread
The neighbors found her in eternal rest,
With a knife plunged deep in her chest.

Now when people pass that rock
To there knees they'll sadly drop
Pretending like they didn't know,
That it was them that made her go.

Their is a disease inside her soul
The kind that nothing can fix
It spreads and grows till theirs nothing left
No secret worlds inside of her, no halos floating round her head
The angels she used to live by
Have been replaced by the devil
Ripping and clawing its way inside
Sparing no expense
To ruin every bit of light
Now all that´s left is black
Her heart has turned to ice
Her once kind words used sparingly, and laced with hidden meaning
She has turned into a mystery
Her past left in the past