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Tell me this!
How can you cage a bird
When you fell in love
Whilst watching it fly?
 Mar 2018 Émilie Murray
Nelize
Mother turns cold as the light rotates
Revealing a dome of shining eyes
Moon crescent glisten, as I listen
Nachtmusic now turned on:
Crickets' overture
City car whispers on highway 99
Leaves hush
Frogs open doors
As watches tick in pronation
Mother tilts Her face in divine rotation
Muted light
Pulling from above
Stardust in my ****** glove
Gives me reason to believe
We are all astronauts
I love the ambience and unique atmosphere that the night brings. I often go outside and feel as if I am in space, literally. Yet, I feel at home, despite the nostalgic and majestic feeling of being part of this universe. We are all astronauts.
 Mar 2018 Émilie Murray
CAM
Shy?
 Mar 2018 Émilie Murray
CAM
God. How am I still not okay?

God. It's been so long.

God. I'm so tired of life right now.

God. What happened to me?

I was such a nice kid.
I was calm all the time.
Mature for my age,
Little but so lively.

I was so helpful.
So loyal.
I always supported my trust.
But I never really spoke my mind.

I was shy.
I was small.
I never stood up for my feelings
I never stood up for myself.

And now I'm older.
I realize I don't need support.
I need myself.
I need confidence.

Speaking your mind is not wrong.
Standing up for your feelings isn't rude.
Standing up for yourself isn't mean.
Saying what you feel doesn't make you imperfect.

No one's perfect. Not even them.
The ones you hate for being so amazing.
Maybe she has anxiety.
Maybe his mom is alcoholic.

No one has a perfect life.
There's not one perfect family in the world.
There is not a person in the world who's perfect.
There's not a person who doesn't have one bit of strife.

But just because you aren't perfect.
Doesn't make you less worth it.
You're amazing.
You're still charming, kind, and strong.

You're just more experienced.
You just understand some more things now.

And maybe, just maybe,
You just aren't as shy anymore.
I'm not perfect. But I'm not shy anymore either.
if we would've met at 16 our lives as teenagers would've been worlds different. we'd meet in the parking lot after school and we'd drive for a little, then hotbox in front of the pacific ocean. i'd play you all the stuff that i played on my weekly radio show and i'd ***** to you about how i was done with the world and every single lululemon wearing, frozen mocha drinking girl who thought i was inferior to her because i wasn't conventionally pretty, listened to anti-establishment punk rock of the 1970s and refused to straighten my hair even if my curls wouldn't quit that day.
i didn't know you four years ago. you were the exact opposite of me, and honestly you probably would have avoided me  - you put gel in your hair and you played sports, but you seemed like you might've been angry and sad for no apparent reason too. you were the same as you are now in some ways, you had the 24/7 off-duty model thing, you were smart, you bumped old school tunes, you knew old school sitcoms. i would've 100% been in love with you but i never would have done anything about it. all i wanted was someone that i could tell everything to, but nobody cared. knowing you could have eased the pain of the period of time in my life where i spent all my money on dime bags and twelve dollar packs of cigarettes and stability was the last thing on my mind and all i really wanted to do was dig a grave for myself. you probably would have never talked to me, but we would have been the coolest kids in the parking lot.
and can i tell you like, the cheesiest sounding thing in the world? yeah? okay. i can't wait to run into you on a beach on the north shore of kauai in 50 years. "shawshank redemption" style. i hope we're friends forever.
 Mar 2018 Émilie Murray
amme
The constellation of Leo I manifested through.
Ever since my birth my heart belonged to you...

Caught in the endless loop since Its inception but perfection made me move,
Now behind the fabric of deception I see the truth, Its so tragic. They've hidden her, my Aquaris.
In the womb of Atlantis.

Ugh..
Thats just how my story goes, you could of just said sorry. I would've accepted your apologys.
Now they ought to put me in orange clothes.

Ready for adventure but our relation forced me to stay at home.
Deja vu when your psycopathic needs reminded me of places from before.
I've been taking detour after detour only to meet ****** that changed my lore to eeyores.
Now I daydream to feel free,
or cry to let of steam because It seems that memories is the only thing that means anything to me anymore.

There's no more purpose to act ******* the surface my life is worthless.
In fact. The shortest straw is in my hand because I always allow myself to draw last
and no matter how many sticks I gather from my past I still cant seem to reach the camels back.

My fire that burned with the disire of hope is now learning its becoming nothing else than smoke.
Translucent like a ghost..
Everyone came to see my roast where God attended as the host.
Reviewing my life while everyone laughs like its some sort of a big joke...
We were all walking and talking
But you pulled me back from the group
You said you needed to talk to me
I can hear the cars driving in the distance
Our friends laughter starts to fade
You push me up against the building
You said you been watching me
I tried to scream
But your hand quickly covered my mouth
You start to violate me
I start to cry but it didn't stop you
All I can think about is my grandma
And what she would think of me
After you were done, you walked away
I can hear the crunch your shoes made on the grovel
And all I can do is cry and cover myself
As you walk away from a body you violated
 Mar 2018 Émilie Murray
Dev
Diamond
 Mar 2018 Émilie Murray
Dev
Nameless, but free.
Hair dyed an extraordinary shade of lilac,
sparkling a thousand which ways into the sun.
Like a diamond.

And yes, she was much like a diamond,
They make you believe that they're rare and expensive.
But really, there's millions of them.
They just want to feel special
Just a pretty face, and nothing more.
Copying her favourite sayings off an edgy tumblr blog
 Mar 2018 Émilie Murray
Cassian
Dad
 Mar 2018 Émilie Murray
Cassian
Dad
You always point out every flaw dad
Always reminding me of everything I do wrong
You never cared how I felt dad
Always comparing me to someone else
I already know how stupid I am dad
Believe me I’ve been told thousands of times
That’s why I want to move away from you
You’ve made me feel alone dad
While still saying you’re my friend
I cared but you didn’t
That was my problem I accept responsibility for that
But the hardest part about letting go is that
I’ll never hear you running after me
Deep into the cold
 Mar 2018 Émilie Murray
Traveler
Imagine the illogical
A common sense that lacks
Parasitic phenomenon
Clinging to ones back
Involuntary commitment
To a shadow haunted state
Just behind the unconsciousness
  Unable to feel safe

I hate to sleep alone
When one eyes opened wide
When the shadows go a swirling
Up the walls and down my spine
But I've felt too many things
In the journey of my soul
I'll take them to the grave
When the shadows lay me low
..................................................
All those children from war torn worlds
Will suffer PTSD much worse than I do.
I can't imagine their hell.

Traveler Tim
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