it is
February already
& the rain keeps confusing me on
what day of the week it is.
he says over coffee, how the
storms are keeping him up /
making me grateful for Florida summers.
i made mine too strong & am having another, reminds me how you'd laugh & dispute either
ever being a problem.
i am convinced i'm
happiest with my heart beating like this anyway
and on my way back downstairs
i look down passed my knees & think
if feet shook like hands i'd
probably take up flying

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

You must've been a queen in another life
Cause you act like royalty
Holding out for a chivalrous knight
To pledge his loyalty
When you clap your hands, men fall in line
Quick to compete for their honour
So you never notice the devoted jester
Standing in the corner

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

Toluene

I envy the four walls
that have the privilege
of watching you fall asleep,
I want to place your scars
in an envelope and send
them out to a healing land
only if you let me
and if you'll hold my hand.

Bite, swallow me whole,
call me *******
but I want to feel, feel, *feel
every fibre and molecule
that gives a definition to your name,
I want to plant the stars in your eyes
so then I'd stargaze forever,
I want you to rip me apart
and erode the tear stains from my heart.