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Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
How's it that you hear
Teardrops rolling down my cheeks
But not when I scream?
Glassy eyes scream louder than raw lungs
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
Buzz Buzz*
I casually unlock my phone
Probably my friend
Maybe my mom...again. -_-
No rush, no worries
Then I see HIS name
My brow sweats
My hands clench
Terror and dread courses through my veins
I choke back a screech of surprise and fear
I swallow hard
And blink a couple times
Rereading the name
Clearing my head
Soothing myself
Trying to remain calm
That boy
The one who caused me
So much humiliation
Who hurt me
A while ago
Who dropped me
Because I was always
His second option
I see his name
Hey how are you?
He says
I wait, about half an hour
But finally I answer with: I'm okay
Just okay? he says
My mind is hissing with furious remarks
Don't pretend like you care
How dare you ignore me for this long
Then suddenly give me a heart attack out of no where
Idk I'm alive
Barely. But I don't say that.
I told him back then
When I liked him so much
He was irresistible
Sadly, that is fairly true
But I'll make an honest effort
Because I don't have time
For his lies
I don't know. I hope I don't get ****** in again. Sadly, (and pathetically) I almost want to.
Let's break all the tension with the pretense of my presence.
Yes, I'm insensitive--but there's no other incentive others can give--
And while I'm not sure I could prevent it, I swear to no god I'm inventive!

Yes,
My hatred is incessant--ever present--and it's what I hold most sacred.
I'm a naughty narcissist with a nasty list of wasted kisses,
And I won't say that I'll miss 'em, 'cuz I'm the type who never misses.

I'm a hopeless romantic with a new sense of Tantric hope,
It's the antics of a frantic mind, but I'm too calm to cope.
They say I'm a raving, violent--rarely silent--tyrant with a craving
for the obscene,
Though, while I'm mean, I'm rarely seen within a mob or in a scene.

I'll admit I've got a streak, but--if you'd stop to take a peek--
You'd see a Buddhist, not a nudist, who's less a demon than a geek.
I'm oblique and I'm obtuse (do these math puns work for you?) yet I'm rarely never right;
Get my angle? Catch my drift? I might thrash, but, man, I'm thrift!
Hold on shift: I'M SCREAMING NOW!!
Don't know why; don't have a cow!
Remember that? That 90's rap? Look at me then; that piece of crap!
Shot down! Torn up! Shut in! Turned out!
Lips are sealed; inside I'd shout,
'Bout just how bad I wanted out!
Enraged and crazed; cravin' razors; a victim hiding from all saviors!
Turned to the pen to brace for the knife,
Started writin' and saved my life.
It's funny to say my life got better the day I started a suicide letter...

But letters turned to words and those words became whole worlds,
And before my very eyes a whole legacy unfurled!
I was GOD--not just a slob--but a shaper of all things,
And the schemes that I'd been dreaming shifted into scribing,
And I never stopped since then; it's why I'm still alive!

So my insanity became vanity as calamity turned to amity.
Sheer pessimism became untamed narcissism,
But if the mind's a prison then consider me jail broken.
Outspoken, re-awoken; take a moment to let that soak in.
That a boy doubtful of tomorrow could ditch the sorrow,
And become an immortal--though immoral, not totally amoral.

So yea, I've got my faults; I'm a sensory assault,
And while I don't mean to offend I'm just a product of the ends.
Played with fire; I got burned.
Dared to aspire; I was turned.
So I inquire to you sires as I march out of the fires:
You've seen my darkness and know my story--beginning, middle, end--
My name is Nathan Squiers, do you wanna be my friend?
  Dec 2014 Ember Evanescent
Adele
I love standing
at the top largest hill of
Camp Half-Blood. Watching the
greens as the nymph wood dance in the hum of nature. Satyrs seasoning the forest with their magic recipe. I should spend more time, admiring the beauty of the wilds. For ere long, the border won't last long. Barbaric creatures will start to crawl. Demigods will fight, and I'll be there, holding a papyrus like a playwright.*

   (a.k)
A cup of Percy Jackson and the Olympians before bed :D
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
He says he likes to watch
Raindrops roll down the glass

Watch me cry then
I'm made of glass
I don't like being breakable and I don't want to let this boy into my life again because it hurt last time and he really isn't worth it. I think I just want a boy, any boy really, to care about me, and he is the only one who MIGHT right now. That's the only reason I even smiled at all when I read his text. it has nothing to do with him, just the IDEA of him. he is actually nothing but a pathetic ****.... ****, I gotta remember to remind myself of that, can't get ****** in again.
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