she lives in shades of pink
cute as a button
but hot on your lips

help me
help me to find my colours again
i need help

is anyone else scared that the kind of love they want does not exist and is unattainable? i think about it all the time

\Collections
ever growing
we like to collect for no point
rip things out
then leave me to sit there
collections
picking something up
collected

poetry is to live in the moment
poetry is to submerge your head into water
then break through the surface like it's the last thing you'll ever do
poetry is any unraveled emotion that  needs to feel whole again

There's a fire within me,
and I don't need someone to put it out
I need someone that will burn with me

Used to look up to the sky
not anymore
i'm one step closer \

i think i blink too much or
much too slow
it seems that i can never let enough of life's light in
and i want to let the light in
i so desperately want to let the light in

I'm Looking Hopeful

We'll dance like they did in old London
Curled hair and elegant dresses
you'll take my arm, twirl me around, then we'll stumble outside
remove your suit jacket and set it aside
you'll show me a world of rough hair and adventures.
You rip off your suit and don a large jacket, you take my arm and twirl me around,whispering in my ear, "there's so much to see..just you and me, come with me I'll take the lead" and off he goes leading me into a love hate life.
He twirled me around and the world and now I can't breathe.He's gone.
Oh what a life he showed me.

Why do I feel so empty?
I’m so bored
So blank
Emotionless
Monotone
Confused
Barely surviving, hanging by a thread
A slave to my desires

Why?
Help me understand

Stone cold
Broken bones

Empty guns
Soulless and numb

Too far gone

No more rehabilitation

It's time for retribution

Loving someone is never a waste

Love me? forever and always?

C H E R R Y

C O N V E Y

God why does this hurt so much

why come back just to leave
it's like needing to walk through a door but just closing it instead

The whole world out there
For me to glide across
Love.

I'm sorry
That I can't focus on you
I'm a bored person
I need to entertain myself
And sometimes
You just don't cut it

I caught your eye
now
I'm trying to catch your eye

sexualize
****** eyes
****** lies
sensual vibes
****** cries
time flies
when we're having a little ****** time

my dearest A

Die Straßen zu seinem Herzen führen, sind mit Gold gepflastert , aber wenn man in der es fertig zu bekommen, alles, was Sie sehen, ist kalt und hart Stein, und nicht die kostbare Art .

Seien Sie vorsichtig, mein kleines süßes Mädchen , wir gehen Sie zu verletzen

Precise,
Haha I finally decided to message you back
After a couple bottles of wine
Ironic
A demon helped me face my demons
It was sorta like the old days
But yeah, after a couple minutes
I was back with a cig in my mouth
Visualising myself taking a stroll down the busy city street
With some kind of ****** Bridget Jones soundtrack type song faintly present in the background
I'd rather be alone than face you everyday
I'd rather you were just a figment of my imagination
Just so I could control you a little more
Just so I could fight you a little more
Instead of succumbing to the same thing everytime
****
It takes a lot to get to me like this
So I just think for a long while
About
What kind of creature you are
Because no human has ever ruled over me

plagued endlessly by empty memories of you
laps
you run in my head
up
down
up
down

up
there
when it was all good

down
there
when it was all...i..whatever

i mean when we reach the midpoint
who said we had to cancel each other out
after all that we had
we have nothing
after all of it
you were more
more than anyone... anything.... any person... everything

can you believe
we are down to communicating without interaction
our words just drift past each other
our words are mere bystanders in each others lives
just there in the background
still significant
but not enough
to be the main characters of the story anymore
just piecing together
passively

i miss myself

when will this shadow stop following me?
-
I know that it brings me comfort
but i want to be free




I want to be free

Looking for somebody that's batshit crazy
like f*cking insane

hmu if this is you <3

like word ***** it all comes bursting out of me

i hit these keys so aggressively
like my hands are running
running
running from something
but i don't know what

every time i’m happy I think it will last forever








but it never does

what did I do
will God forgive me?

These feelings of guilt and disgust
I'm bathing in them
purifying myself inch by inch, in a sick and twisted way

am I a creature of hell?

I couldn't resist
the urge was just too much
it consumed me

i hate myself
was it worth it?

the desire in me screams yes
it always does

but i know it really wasn't

i'm tired of being led by desire

a sinners pathway to destruction

God please save me
have mercy

but i'd miss you
and as cliche as it sounds
i'd cross those oceans even if it meant i dissolved in them somewhere along the way
and thats the sad reality of life

Poetic heartthrobs
that
      steal your soul
with line      
     breaks

Never satisfied no matter the success

it's nice when one word or one person can brighten your insides up and put your mind at ease even if it's temporary
it's just nice

she's all ripped fishnets and random thoughts
fake vampire fangs with a thirst for fun
cherry lips that just pop
flushed cheeks that turn you on
with thoughts as cold as ice

she loves wild fantasies and getting lost in love
she fears growing up
she has no regrets but can't let go of the past

she's on the mind of everyone she meets
they just can't let her go

she's darkness in every way but oh so cute
cold hands hidden in sweater paws
and little cat ears on her head
with a love of violence

You know things are bad when Dostoyevsky says something and you can relate

In the leaking sieve of our bodies,
we carry the blood of our love

what do we all really want? do we know? is it the unknown? is it familiar to strangers or loved ones and just unbeknownst to us?
an odd thought...well not really but you know
I hold myself in my own self proclaimed aura of power by holding my secrets close to my heart and letting others know, that i know, just exactly what i want. I mean i'm sure that's what we associate with power, right? who wants or even needs someone who has no singular recollection of controlling what the mind sporadically desires. I know what i want but that cancels itself out and leaves me thinking in a disjointed manner, just what do i want? and stemming off that, why? and stemming off that how? and stemming off that, does this ever stop?
careful calculation, artistic determination, a 'so called' higher thought process, and lastly, an urge or a will. the ingredients to creation,success and maybe self fulfillment are so substandard, the faux, as I once lovingly called it. The faux, a careful concealment and fluorescent indicator to all around us. It's absolute ******* but so much fun

I wanna fall in love

stolen glances, natural charisma, that connection with someone, we're so into each other, heart beating fast
the promise of something new after meeting a stranger
the promise of something so beautiful

run away with my dreams
you're in my mind

it's you..it's always been you

In my dreams
You weren’t real
You were perfect
You weren’t human

It felt so real
But you weren’t

it's getting closer
-
it's almost time for me to finish another chapter in my life
-
i lost myself and found her all over again
but i'm not allowed to hold onto her forever
-
it's almost time to let her go and become a new me all over again
-
she's supposed to be better...shinier
-
i don't have much to complain about i guess so i'll say bye to her in a couple of weeks

rage just consumes me like a poor beggar on the street who hasn't eaten in years

Don’t give in
Please

Don’t do this
You can’t do this
Don’t do this to me

You can’t do this to yourself
Be stronger
I believe in you

Everything you feel you need to succumb to, you are not powerless against

I’ll hold your hand
never letting go
I’m here
I’m here
I’m here

Happy birthday to me.....

did I lose myself or did I gain you?