I forgot the Me
I was before

I forgot the way
I've lived before

I forgot the things
I've steered clear of

I forgot the monotone
I've been in

But why can't I forget
The way you placed your sweet lips upon me?

Why can't I forget
The way your beautiful mind functions?

Why can't I forget
The butterflies I felt when you held me?

Why can't I forget
Our deeper-meaning-of-life conversations?

Why can't I forget
Your face, your smile, your laugh?

Why can't I forget
*You?

I fell in love
I thought I would never say
These words which used
To mean nothing to me

But they did
They meant the world to me
And so did you
I fell in love with you

I fell in love
Sweet and painful
A moon in a dark night
Lost without it

But you didn't
I was a mere lamppost
Not a moon, not a star
And you were just passing by

I fell in love
Sensible yet stupid
You never know why or how
You just know when

Strangers, we were
Strangers, we are
But in between those two
Were we something more?

I fell in love*
I wish I hadn't
But if I hadn't
I would've never known you

Is it possible
To see through your heart
To read your mind
To know what you feel
To understand your pain
And why you inflict it upon others
Upon me
A naive, little child
Wandering in the woods
Wondering what went wrong
And how I let everything become worse
Become waste
A dull life I've lead
Contented on breathing and eating
Surviving on few discourses
With the few I know
Then, there was you
A mystery, a puzzle
I was me for the first time
A Me that hid under red cheeks
A mistake, a regret
I would've gladly opened my heart
Instead, I opened my lips
Without you knowing how I feel
Thinking it was just a physical need
But it wasn't
It was an emotional one

*I was emotionally attached to you
And to everything you say and do

How can one kiss
How can one day
Break open the sky

A new light, a new life
How you've kept yourself
Hidden, broken

Shut out from the rest
A feeling of isolation
You thought you loved so

But could it be worse?
Could you have had it any other way?
Could everything be nothing?

Could you keep pretending
Not to care, unable to feel
A tiny bit of love and love-ache

A kiss can mean a thousand things
And it could mean nothing at all

Company, I longed for
Loneliness surged upon me

Two beings a few inches away
Embraces and caresses

You placed your lips upon me
As I placed my utter faith in you

A wave of something indescribable
Rushed upon my insides

I felt it, hoping you did, too
Never have I been so mistaken

Lost myself in all of it
What a fool I had become

Why did I have to kiss you
With my eyes fully closed?

What do you do when you don't know what to do?

When you feel too much sadness,
That you can't feel anything anymore
When you feel too much weight on your shoulders,
That you can't feel the weight anymore

When you cry too much at night,
That you can't see anything anymore,
When you talk to yourself too much everyday,
That you can't voice out your thoughts anymore

What do you do when you don't know what to do?
Do you find answers or do the answers find you?

Solitary, lonely and sad
Oh, how you resemble the moon
Flawed and imperfect
With all the craters and the holes

But like the moon
Many would go to great heights
To see your beauty
A sightliness worth every step

Like the dear moon we see
You are blemished
And like the moon, my sweet lover
You shine in times of darkness