There once was a berry muffin that sat on a plate
I was ready to be fed, the muffin ready to be ate
But alas, Lucky had his eye on the prize
He lunged, canine jaws were open wide
GULP! A bittersweet vanish, it was too late!

I wish I could write
like all the grand poets do
I dream to let my words flow onto paper for all the world to read
I'm only a kid though
I'm only me
What could I accomplish?

I used to write because I was required to earn a grade
but now I write to express and relieve
I might still be motivated by a sliver of the past though
Not grades, but approval
They say all the best writers are intrinsically driven
But is it so wrong to want to belong?
to want to touch people beyond a moment's memory?
I'm not sure
I don't think I even have the skill
but will I try? yeah I will

At the end of the day
whether I write for myself or others
I'm grateful for my privilege to hold the pen in my hand
The ink will spill 'til the day I die
My thoughts will continue to be broadcasted
even if I have no inkling as to why

He is cigars and beer in the evenings
He is reggae one day, and rock another
He is teaching me how to make the perfect omelet

He is unashamed selfies
He is giving space but keeping safe
He is golf and basketball, the only sports I can stand

He is laughter and jokes
He is good taste in all things
He is guiding me to a brighter future

He is my father.

I'm learning to love myself
And I'm learning to slow down every once and awhile
And I'm learning to keep what's important close,
Not shove them away in fear they'll betray

I'm learning to discern
And I'm learning to assert
And I'm learning, even though it sometimes hurts me,
to just leave some things be

I'm learning to use my pain to push me forward
And I'm learning how to prove my disbelievers wrong
And I'm learning to make the best with what I have,
even when I may not have the best

Indeed,
I'm learning a lot of things.
But perhaps most of all,
I'm learning that it's much, much, easier to just be me

He is warmth
Sweetness
The flavor I never knew I needed

He is unique
Fulfilling
Pleasure in every bite

He is comfort
Fluffy
The treat I look forward to

He is my love.

I don't understand.
I don't understand
Why we're so mean,
Why we speak without thinking, and
Why people can hate each other over anything, or even nothing at all.

But most of all,
I don't understand
Why a label supposedly defines us all and
Why people don't feel safe in places they should.
Why does Destruction drag behind humanity like a ball and chain?

However, there are some things I understand.
I understand
Why there are good people out there,
Why hope is not lost, and
Why I can make a difference, even if it's small.

With all the things in the world, one may or may not understand
It kind of makes it seem like there's nothing worth contemplating.
But I think I should wonder anyways,
And learn to accept the fact that some things I'll never know.

I am afraid of rejection
I am afraid of failure
I am afraid that I may never be good enough
I am afraid that time will run out
I am even afraid of the person I know as myself

I am afraid of constant fighting
I am afraid of never waking up
I am afraid that I'll stay caught in a mental war
I am afraid that the world's attack won't stop
I am even afraid of what happens when there is no reason left to fight

I want to smile
I want to be understood
I want to make a difference
I want to be valued
I even want to be "normal" for once

I want success
I want love
I want to experience everything there is to feel
I want the everyone to be honest with themselves
And I even want the tribulations of what it means to be alive

I'm afraid of change, and yet I want it more than anything at all.