As I step into the shower,
The smell of last night's events finally hits me
A mixture of drinking, smoking, and general bad decisions clings to my body
I scrub every inch of me to try and rid myself of everything that happened the day before
Liquor clings to my skin, a sticky reminder of the good time I had when the night began
Smoke clings to my hair, making it greasy and thick
Your touch clings to my body, every fingerprint its own little insult
Your taste clings to my lips, more bitter than the stench of the night doubled over a thousand times
Because I didn’t realize then what we were doing,
What consequences would  come  with our actions
But now, in the light of day, with steam and hot water resonating around me
I know that you were a mistake
A drunken escapade that will fade because we have no other choice
We can't change what we did, but we can't act upon it
It'd be too messy
Too complicated
And I know you don’t want to deal with it
You never knew how I felt about you until last night and even still I doubt you'll remember
But you know what happened between us
And so I expect you'll want it erased
More than I do

tears roll down my cheeks,
giving a source to the sobs that wrack my body
sitting away in the confines of my room,
I'm hoping that my dry heaves hitch my breathing
that the water descending from my eyes fills my lungs
so that the only air that fills the room is naturally occurring photosynthesis
because these water droplets rolling down my face, catching my chin
serve no purpose except reminding me of my agony
so I want to put them to use
and use them to drown me

It's just a black empty space and I have created a corner in this circle because I need security in the form of things, and not, people.
And I unzipped my skin because someone smiled at me in the wrong way this morning or because I laughed into the mirror forgetting it was there.
I am dreaming of the heavens because God every night is singing me songs of sweet surrender, coaxing me "child, it's okay." And I unzip my skin because the tears and the sadness and the Everest of grief swirls in my arteries and dances in my veins and I feel *****.
I unzip my skin so when you hold my hand or feel my pulse beat against yours, I am empty because I want you to remain, pure.
And soon I will unzip my soul to galavant in the heavens so my bones can dance in the richest soils, rattling the song of goodbye.
It was nice knowing you.

I've found something new
and I have no idea if he'll be a poison or an antidote.
Because when he smiles
my heart shatters in a good way
like a chick hatching out of its shell.
I have no idea where this will go
except away from my past which is the only direction
I want to see myself going.
He has a light in his eyes that even the blind can see.
He's unexplainably taunting with his
obscurity.
He has doors that are beckoning to be opened
and walls that are praying to be broken down
and he doesn't even know it.
That he is the most astonishing book just waiting to be read.
And then the notion comes that maybe he doesn't want to be read.
That his book is meant for eyes that aren't my own
and that's why he locks the doors and boards the walls
when somebody tries to break and unlock them.
when I try to break and unlock them.

let’s live suddenly without thinking

under honest trees,
                        a stream
does.the brain of cleverly-crinkling
-water pursues the angry dream
of the shore. By midnight,
                                a moon
scratches the skin of the organised hills

an edged nothing begins to prune

let’s live like the light that kills
and let’s as silence,
                            because Whirl’s after all:
(after me)love,and after you.
I occasionally feel vague how
vague idon’t know tenuous Now-
spears and The Then-arrows making do
our mouths something red,something tall

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands