I'm psychologically damaged in the head
I don't know how I'm feeling
Or how I should feel
Or what to think
Or what to do
How did this all come about
I really don't know
But I think it started when I was fourteen
**** being a teenager
I just started getting weird
Acting different, dressing different
From there on you could say psychologically I was ****** up

Can you tell me how I'm feeling
Or how to find happiness
Or how I can get there
'Cause life just seems so unfair

From there on breathing was like a chore for me
I couldn't stand the thought of being alive
Or being anywhere
It wasn't my fault
I didn't know what the **** was going on with me
I didn't like to do anything but sleep
And when I was around people I tried to smile so the pain wouldn't show
So nobody would know
And nobody did
Well at least not 'til I started acting out
Then everybody wanted to know what the **** was going on

Can you tell me how I'm feeling
Or how to find happiness
Or how I can get there
'Cause life just seems so unfair

I didn't want nobody to know I was depressed
I didn't want nobody to know I was lonely
I didn't want nobody to know that I felt anxious around people
And I didn't want nobody to know that I like chicks
**** but it all had to come out, yes all of it and when it did
**** it felt good
I had nothing to hide anymore
But by everything coming out it didn't solve my problems
But at least everyone was aware
Yeah

Can you tell me how I'm feeling
Or how to find happiness
Or how I can get there
'Cause life just seems so unfair

You light up the room, there’s no other that can do that like you do
Oh, I fear it has begun
My stomach queasy, body shaky, heart triple beating
You look at me oblivious to what’s going on inside of me, wondering why I’m shaking, eyes open so widely

And I think
Do you feel it, do you feel it
Do you feel the same

So caring and giving, loving and never wanting
Nothing in return for all you give to helping others
Carrying all the weight on your shoulders
All I want to do is be there for you and hold you
But you don’t seem to understand the way I feel or why I clam up when I see you

And I think
Do you feel it, do you feel it
Do you feel the same
Do you feel it, do you feel it
Do you feel the same
Do you know my pain
And I think
That I’ll tell Jacey
I think that’ll help this pain subside
I think that it’s gotta be better than keeping everything inside
Even if she doesn’t feel the same
I think it would help relieve this pain
Though if it wasn't unrequited it would be nice
I think that I still love her if she doesn’t feel the same
I think I’ll tell Jacey
Being bottled up, I’m just so tired
I think I need to know, so I can leave the queasy stomach and shakiness all behind
I think I just need to get this out in the open, I’m just so tired of feeling like this, knowing would be nice
Jacey
Do you feel the same
Oh, Jacey
Do you know my pain
Oh, Jacey
Do you feel it
Jacey
Do you feel the same

Depressed, stressed
Yeah, she's a ******* mess
The melancholy girl
Can't see anything outside her world
She has massive anxiety
Which probably
Is why she
So alone and ****** up
Scared to open up
To anyone who tries to befriend her
She doesn't feel safe or secure
Around many people, so it causes her problems to be able to trust
Even with inside herself
But she must
Push herself
To be able to go on
To be strong
Even when she feels everything is wrong

Melancholy girl
She can't get up
She doesn't want to face the world
Melancholy girl
She so sad, she so lonely
You can't see behind that smile that it's screaming somebody please understand, (get to know me)

This girl even though she's melancholy
She doesn't give up on trying to be
Strong
Taking things on
As they are, as they come
But some
Thinks she needs to stop being so **** helpless and pretentious
But this
Is not who she is
But yes she is introspective
And also, an introvert
And she's very alert
Of what is going on around her
And it hurts
When people insinuate and assume things about her
So for sure
She gives them a ******* attitude
Go ahead she says "imply that I'm sensitive,  dramatic,  and rude"

Melancholy girl
She steps outside her world
To see
Melancholy girl
On a mission to observe and achieve
To be better, to be stronger, to believe

Bitter
I am bitter 'cause you want it this way

Bitter
Why am I bitter

Am I bitter 'cause I don't want to see you
Bitter 'cause I don't want to talk to you
Bitter 'cause I don't want to text message you
Bitter 'cause I don't want to e-mail you
And am I bitter 'cause I don't want to be with you
I am bitter 'cause you made it this way

******* chicks
Don't know the difference between bitter and not wanting to be bothered
And it seems she had things between us where it was like I always hollered
These ******* chicks wanna stay together 'cause they like the drama, the abuse
And no matter how many ****** up relationships I've been in, I just can't get use
To this
Although it has put me in angry mode, which now most of the time I'm always ******
And when I think about them
Adrenaline
Rushes over me
And I am angry, I am anxious, I am wide awake, and I am sweaty
But not bitter
And I hope none of them ever cross my path when I am feeling like this 'cause I don't know what I would do
But I know blood and bruises would be the end results

I can be angry and violent just like the words I write
But it leaves the chicks coming back for more
Words can be right
Pierce and rhyme
But just as long as blood and bruises aren't the end results

Shadowy, distant, and discontent
These are the three adjectives
That describes my present
Emotions that I am feeling
But I am willing
To give these feelings
Up any day
Some people say just don't think about it and they'll go away
But this is like a disease, a sickness, an illness
You have to treat it like that, like diabetes that has to do with blood and sugar, or like different kinds of cancer
Well this if left untreated, your mind, your emotions, your ability to function right, you'll be killing
Shadowy, distant, and discontent
These three adjectives for years have left a dent in my soul
Now I have lost all my ability to control
How I feel
Now I must reveal
This **** ain't no joke
Night after night I choke
From the mucus that seeps down to my throat
From crying
Some nights I think about dying
Then I start to think why when
This all will be over someday
Then I pray
And ask God to give me strength to get through another day
Shadowy for being obscure
And rest assure
It's something I'm not proud of
But it's something I gotta rise above
And I gotta learn to love
Myself
'Cause nobody else
Is gonna accept you
So I gotta learn how to
Maybe that's why I'm so distant
So I sprint
Away from it all
Just waiting for a downfall
So I feel discontent 'cause this is how it always goes
And anyone who knows
Me, knows that my mood swings go up and down like a rollercoaster
Maybe something to do with bipolar
But I just need a shoulder
Someone to lean on to help me get over
Whatever you wanna call this
But I don't, so I ball a fist
I feel ******
Reminiscing to the time I slit my wrist
But then I start to think this is ridiculous
Shadowy, distant, and discontent
Is remnant
To all the other adjectives I could, should use to describe me, ah
But I think you get the idea

Everything I write from now on about love will be trashing it, bashing it
As if it was something I was discriminating against
I guess I'll be like this until I find the one
Yeah right, please, whatever
Every time I see couples being all cute
It just makes me sick
I had that, did it, done it
And I don't want it
Sometimes I lay awake at night
And think about her
Murdering her
******* strangling her so tight her ******* head explodes
Sometimes I think about getting a baseball bat and pounding the **** out of her head
But I could never do this
These are just thoughts, these ******* thoughts she puts inside my head
I have never felt so angry, so violent
Until, until I met her
Love, oh love is a joke
I told her I loved her
And now she won't go away
Why do we need love to feel alive
Why does she need love, my love to feel alive
Oh love, love
It has torn us apart, torn me apart
I have to go and find my heart
It has gone lost and turned cold in all this mess
But this I must confess, this I must confess
I can't do this, the love thing

She's addicted to sadness
She's addicted to sadness

She asks "who am I"
"Who am I"
You answer no one
No one
Non-existent
See through paper thin
So transparent
So outside of yourself
Insecure for sure
But just so outside of yourself

She asks "who am I"
"Who am I"
"What have I become"
"What have I done with me"

Hey how are you doing over there
She replies "not so good since you abandoned me"
"You made me, saved me"
"I'm yours"
"What I do is inspired by you, well, all the positive"
"The negative is in consequence of your negligence"
She bellows" but it's just so hard for me to forget you with all the emptiness that surrounds my life"

And I sit alone in the darkness
Left wondering again
Where did I go wrong
There's something wrong
There's always something wrong
I gotta keep singing that same **** sad song
Because I just don't belong
I just don't belong
Something's wrong
Something's always wrong
But how long
How long am I gonna keep singing that sad song
There's nothing wrong
Just gotta find a new song

Addicted to sadness
She's addicted to sadness
She's addicted to sadness
But who will stop the ******* madness