she forgot to write a poem that day,
and the day next
and the day next,
she forgot to write a poem that week,
and the week next
and the week next,
she forgot to write a poem that month,
and soon forgot that she had forgotten to write a poem,
she forgot all about words that rhymed
and titles
and tags
she forgot to write poems,
because she forgot to be sad.

her heart beats strongly for him
                 she wants to love him
                         she truly does
                                 she just has to figure out
                                                                              *how

I've returned to check up on my past.
Now I know that I have no idea was love is.
Never did.
Still kinda don't.

Guess I better find out.

I've got a problem.
A habit, really.
Of freaking out over my reality.

I wake up one morning.
Not feeling so great.
My stomach's in a knot and my heart palpitates.

I scream. I cry.
My whole world's in a wry.
Looking for answers on the internet.


But then.
Something happens.
He takes me outside.

And everything's not as bad as I thought it was.
Not bad at all.

I am surrounded by those who love me.
Yet I woke up this morning alone.
I don't know this feeling.
This lack of support.
I don't know how to cope.

My mind is plagued with doubt and fear.
Whenever the one I want to love comes near.
I cower from his pain, more so than my own.
Which is why I must handle this alone.

This bitter bite that's been leading to tears.
That has consumed my mind since New Years.
This lack of a feeling that I think I need.
That rooted worry that grows like a ****.

I want forgiveness for taking so long.
To have the time to right this wrong.
To start over and let my self fall.
To know that this wasn't worth nothing after all.