If you close your eyes softly and listen carefully, you can almost go back to the very first summer with them. You can almost hear our muffled giggles and see our sideway smiles. The night is young, the city lights are twinkling, and the stars are slowly beginning to emerge. It's the moment between sunset and sunrise. The sound of crickets chirping and the scent of summer permeates the surrounding city. Summer stains our minds with carelessness and the feeling of forever young. Remembering them is like experiencing summer for the very first time.



m.g.

i think
that it’s sad
that you are so far away
and mutiple other people get to hold your hand
and those other people get to know what your embrace
feels like
while im here
thousands of miles away
sadly sitting in my own dark room while
each of the walls begin to close in
on me
i dont like getting out much
but i would get out
if i had you
i mean
we could do things together
instead of just saying “i want to hold your hand.”
i could actually hold your hand
and kiss your finger tips
and never have to let go
of your embrace
and then maybe
maybe my hectic mind will be at peace
and i could think clearly
and not worry about what
is going on the next day
and i could live in this moment with you
and just
be with you
but you’re there
and i’m here,
stuck
by myself
alone with my thoughts
scared that a text might annoy you
scared that you’re with someone
better than me
scared that you’re just going to
forget about someone like me
but really
you’re there
and im here
im just being silly and dumb
i know
but sometimes
and only sometimes
are my feelings valid.



m.g.

im glad we're talking
truly am
but I'm worried about something
am i just another one of the girls
you throw away and forget
sure,
you remind me I'm special and you care,
but could that so easily be thrown
away?
cast aside for me to constantly
wonder
what happened?
I'm just.
i don't know.



this was dumb

bye

He exhaled again, trying to regain stable breathing. They gazed into each other’s eyes, staring with desire and need to get to know each other more. Tension building, sparks flying, and the rising heat within the outside corridor. Eyes wander, looking to see the little movements caused by each other's nervousness. Fingers twitch, eyes blink, and smiles emerge. They are both plagued with each of these significant actions. Imaginations flare as the thought what would happen if just a single touch was to be made? Would all self control break down in an instant? Stalled on the edge and the thought of giving away seemed so appetizing. Risking the consequences would never feel as good as it would now. A small touch would be explosive. It would ignite the passion and spiral out into a raging inferno. It would take countless efforts to put out such a flame. But he knew it was too soon.



m.g.

i am
a tiger
fierce
loud
strong
protective of what is rightfully
mine
yet at times
i am
sad
weak
and
vulnerable.

m.g.

growing up isn't very helpful, when it comes down to it. when i was quite little, i loved staring up at the sky. it fascinated me. the way the darker it got, the more stars would appear. they'd almost always be there, every time i awoke from a bad dream and ran to the window, every time the sunshine just wasn't enough, every time i  just needed reassurance they hadn't gone anywhere. but before the age of five, i don't have a single memory of a clouded night. thirteen years later from five, i am still just a girl. looking for comfort, stability, sleep, and respect. for this, i yearn for you. someone to jump with, arms outstretched, fingertips reaching to the heavens without a clue of what could be up there. grasping for who knows what and our wishes have been enveloped by ***** of fire light years away; and there's feeling that there is, there constantly will be, something more, something bigger, something we yearn for but are so mortified to have. i live with the constant feeling of having something to say but knowing it's the wrong time for the clumsy words to leave my lips. maybe that's why i started writing.

the way
you make
me feel
is like
a ray of sunshine
shown
onto my
poor
mislead heart
your smile is
probably
the only thing i look
forward
to everyday
i love you,
i really
truly
love
you.

m.g.

I hope one day

somebody loves you
so much

that they see violets
in the bags under your eyes,
sunsets in the downward arch
of your lips,

that they recognize you
as something green,
something fresh and still growing,
even if sometimes
you are growing sideways,

that they do not waste their time
trying to fix you.


m.g. and a.n.

do you believe                                   i would be known
as i believe                                         as known as
what there is                                      knowing you can be
is all there is?                                     by you
                                                             who knows
                                                           ­  how knowing is
do you believe                                  that knows
as i believe                                         no knowing.
that we are
more than we                                   and i would know
yet know?                                         as known as
                                                           knowing can be
                                                           the you
do you believe                                 who keeps me
as i believe                                        from knowing
you are                                              the you
who i would know                         who knows
and i am                                            nothing.
who you would know
so you can be
what you are
and i can be
what i am?





m.g. & f.k.

i can not seem to forget
you.

every little thing reminds
me of you. every time i
look at the stars i
remember the time we
kissed on the grass under
the sparkly sky. every
time i pull a blanket over
my body. i remember the
time it was raining outside
and you held me safe
under the warm covers.


and every time i hear a
voice, feel a touch, hear
foot steps coming closer,
i wish, i wish it's you
coming back. but it's not.
it never is and i'm afraid
it will never be you again.


t.s. & m.g.

when we meet
i can picture it
you're sweaty after giving your all onstage
but i don't care
you're waiting for me
nervously turning your head
in all directions
after some time,
i walk in
and we lock eyes
your green eyes meeting my brown ones
you stand up,
and start to run
i run as well,
i jump and wrap
my legs around your torso,
as you hold me close,
and suddenly
we both feel safe.


m.g.

m.g.

maybe we should
fall in love with
people,
who can't help you
up from the fall,

and when you finally
manage to get up

with or without the better half's full help,

you fall in love again and you "fall".


all this crazed joy
and screaming and ecstatic moaning,

about finding the one who
helps you up each time,


you get up,
you look at the courageous him
or the seraphic her,

and both of you are like - "Was that it? Okay.. now what?"





...both of us know...
it's not like how it used to be
...we need to use some space..



m.g.

"hey"

"yeah?"

"you're still beautiful,"

"thanks."

"welcome."

I love you more than la luna. You are my everything, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Even though you don’t think you’re beautiful, you are more beautiful than anyone I’ve ever seen. I love you so so much. You’ve been with me in my darkest, most awful days. When I was crazy, you still loved me. I will never be more grateful for anything more in my life, than I am for you. I am so in love with you. The first time I laid eyes on that picture of you, I couldn’t stop talking about you, and we hadn’t even talked before that. Except that one time when we were talking about clothes, and about how boys were attracted to you or something. I was jealous of them, to honest. Those boys got to spend time with my world, my everything. I want to spend my time with you, baby. Every minute, every hour, every second.

i am
a dream
sometimes in bliss
floating on cloud nine
tossing coins in the invisible fountain
of my imagination
skipping rocks while cloud hopping
while at other times
i am a nightmare
emotionally and physically
terrorizing the world that is my
life
hurting the ones i love
breaking all ties
breaking apart from it all
while the dark clouds rumble above
i sit in the middle of the grass
hearing the roar of the thunder above
yet i do not move
because yet
this is just a dream.




m.g.

m.g

“Hi.” I whispered.
His eyes never left mine as he slowly leaned in and stared at my lips.
We both leaned in together, and our lips met.
It was a short kiss, but definitely meaningful to both of us.
He pushed a strand of hair out of my face and whispered
“Hey.”
I let out a small giggle as he kissed me all over my face, starting with my nose, ending with my chin.
He rested his forehead on mine, and we both burst into a fit of giggles.
He played with the ends of my hair as we discussed how happy we both were.



m.g.

sometimes its the affection
that matters
more than the
love,
y'know?

affection is something we all
crave
humans need affection
to live,
maybe the reason we stay
with the ones who hurt us most,
is because in times of darkness
they show us
affection.

m.g.

take a deep breath
in the mirror
he didn't
like it when i
wore high heels
but i do,
turn the lock
and put my headphones on
he always said
"i never get this song."
but i do,
walked in expecting you'd be
late
but you got here
early
and you stand and wave
i walk to you
you pull my chair out
and help me in
and you don't know
how nice
that is,
but i do.


t.s. & m.g.

hello friends
how can you
not notice
the life
the light
the love
slipping from my dull
eyes
hello friends
how can you
not notice
that i choose
to wear
long sleeves
in the hot
summer weather
hello friends
how can you tell
me that
everything is going to be okay
when my doctor says
not to tell anyone that
because you honestly don't know
if it's going to be okay
because you aren't in
their situation
hello friends
how can
you not notice
me slipping from
your grasp.




m.g.

slowly
I've grown less
hungry
I've stopped eating
but  no one is to know
i am supposed to be
strong
for you, my love,
i have to show you
that i'm okay
and that you don't have
to worry about
me
and my petty life
anymore
i'm trying to become beautiful
because i know that
im not.


m.g.

mel x

and i think the saddest part is
that i thought i had a chance
with someone like you
the thought that
you might be different with me
the thought that
you might go for someone like me
these are just the few lot
of many thoughts
i have when loneliness
consumes me
but all they are, are thoughts
that disappear with the image
of me and you.




m.g. & a.o

i sing songs about the
past
how i was raised
and i was thrown out
on my ***
because i didn't care
about going to school,
i saw the look in her
eyes
my mother nearly cried
when i told her
that i wanted to
go
just to prove them
wrong,
i've been smoking
cigarettes since
i was only 14
just to find an escape
from this town that was so
mean to
me.

nsn. m.g.

m.g.

i hate how
i paint my nails
for someone
who doesn't care



m.g.

people say
‘it’ll be okay’
yet
they dont know
the
pain
inside
that
cuts me to
the core
while my sadness
pours out
in gallons
of tears
and whispers of
‘i’ll never be good enough
for you.’

m.g.

maybe
i am just
that one girl
no one seems
to care for
to love
to embrace
to do anything with
but
i dont think
they realize
that i’ve got
feelings as well,
and maybe
just maybe
I've got someone
who needs me to live
who needs me to be there
and take care of them.

m.g.

m.g.

2:03 AM

i feel okay


when you say you love me.




m.g.

slowly
my happiness disappears
it never liked to stay
and it never has
it was just a visitor
and depression
was my home
the familiar feeling
of the blade
almost touched my
skin
the cold blade
was an old friend
of mine
and i liked it
as twisted as that may sound.

m.g.

right now
i’ve got that
sick
pitiful feeling
in the bottom of my stomach
i like to think
it’s because
i love you so
but i think it’s because
you don’t love me
back.

m.g.

m.g.

he walks
alone
in the corridor
of the large school
everyone
stares at
him
his clothes
his hair
his glasses
he was not
that
different
he just
felt differently
about boys
he loved them
sometimes he loved the
one boy
more than he could
ever love
himself.


m.g.

m.g.

i fell in love with him
like the way
that blood moves
through the body
in waves,
but she had
always been around him
and now he was mine,
stay away from him
what is mine
is mine.

I've just realized how alone i am.