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3.9k · Nov 2016
Ninth Grade - Biology
Star Gazer Nov 2016
I found an empty book, it's labelled biology- grade nine,
fake lines ran across the book, never any real content,
to feel content with what I read was an impossible matter,
scattered diagrams of human anatomy too far from realism
because realistic diagrams would include labels to hearts
with coloured charts stating that 'this may fall apart-
not by fat barricades, but to paraphrase a different place,
Neruda chases the stars and from afar as the cages of ribs
would rip and sometimes, just enough to have felt loved,
to feel enough with being held for just a night, a short time,
but life is built beyond a biology book.

It is so strange that I have learnt so much more about life
than ninth grade biology because being biologically correct
doesn't ***** the hairs on my back as an assortment of words
like an assortment of birds aren't really meant to be described
as assortments and a biology book isn't really meant to describe life.
3.8k · Aug 2016
Cherry.
Star Gazer Aug 2016
"Forget me already. It's not mmm... good for you to still remember me. Uhh; I want you gone from my life, please?" Sarah requested with frustration creased on her face.

Sarah wasn't your average university student, ash blonde with streaks of red in her hair, slim tanned legs just enough to make a young teen salivate. She was neither tall nor short, and if Goldilocks had met Sarah before Goldilocks would have exclaimed 'just right' about Sarah's height. You couldn't tell whether she was rich nor poor because Sarah had always worn amiable denim jeans though they were always ripped. It could have just been her fashion statement, a sardonic "looky over here people. I'm charming pfft, no one knows how charming I am and I don't even have to show skin to do so". Sarah though seemingly perfect on the surface, had always had self esteem issues; she'd mumble sentences and say "don't worry" when she struggled to convey herself.

"... Please?" Sarah requested with frustration creased on her face.
    To Jim, this was the usual request he'd heard over and over. At this point, about a million and twenty three times; it no longer phased him. Jim gulped in a mouthful of air before going onto his retaliation; except his retaliation did not involve calling her 'a *****' nor did it involve calling her 'a **** covered ***** that no one will ever love'. No... Jim was civil tongued in a rather strange demeanour.

"Sarah darling. The moment I forget you, the skies will fall, the clouds will shake, rain will flood the Earth because the very second I forget you, my world and I will have been destroyed", Jim said with a sheepish grin. Jim was a cunning man, almost too smart for his own good at times. He'd always reminisce on that one date he had with Sarah. He had taken her to a nearby farm, and nearby to a suburban kid was a two and half hour drive. The farm was not the most romantic place but to Jim, cow manure and sheep manure whispered "this is the most organic and romantic place you can ever find". The minute they had arrived in the general location of the farm, Sarah had already been, hungry, tired, sleepy, angry and most of all she had to put up with Jim not revealing anything to her....So fear was one of the cause of her anxiety with Jim, though she could trust Jim with her life so it somewhat lessened, the very moment that fear piqued.

The ground, wet soil, faint smells of manure, 'Nature'. Jim flaunted the minute he had arrived "HOLY SHEEP! Look around Sarah, aren't they wonderful?"
          Sarah mumbled, as she most likely always does "they....mmmm....they are nice....umm I guess".

Jim projected his voice, shocking Sarah again, but at this point a feather falling to the ground would have spooked poor little Sarah. "SARAH! Look over here. Do you see the cow. Why don't we call her Cherry?"

"Why Cherry?" Sarah asked with a puzzled look on her face.

Jim took a big breath of the farmland air "Because ...cherries are edible."

Sarah slightly disgusted but with a smile on her face nonetheless.

Suddenly, Jim grew quiet; and for a blabbermouth, 'would forget to breathe because he's talking' Jim, this is a pointer that there may be something that wasn't exactly right.

Jim spoke, breaking the silence created by the void of words that was Jim and Sarah, 'Babe. I've been thinking... and before you jump to conclusions, no we are not breaking up, not on a farmland, that's how you'll **** me and feed my bodies to the pig or something....and nothing eats Jim Thorens except dinosaurs. I wanted to say, I've been thinking about how lucky I am. No I didn't win the lottery, nor did I come to an inheritance of a million dollars; one because I don't gamble and two because ...my shitheap of a family won't even leave a cent to me probably. But I am a lucky man, because I have you and having you is like winning the lottery. It is like inheriting a million dollars. It is like having the palms of the world, in a single minute I get to hold your hand."

Sarah spoke, tears invading the corner of her eyes, "Maybe this world is too good for us. I don't know but lately, it feels as though walls are collapsing and I can't keep feigning it anymore. I chose to come along with you in hopes you'd end things with me", Sarah had hardly ever spoken for so long without a few umms or ahhs in the way, but this time something came over her.

"...But I love you babe. Don't you love me?" Jim building a bridge to clear the doubt in between their relationships. Sadly, the bridge he built in the form of a question did not support the weight that they both held. One loving too much, and another loving too little.

A few days had passed. Well what was a few days for those who aren't heartbroken, felt like decades for those with a hellish hole forming in their hearts. A few days, merely a few days, with the overclouding, overbearing sensation of a lifetime.

Jim Thorens had called Sarah Silva to arrange a meeting, with the tone of 'complete strangers, who tried to hid that they were past lovers'. "Hey Sarah, It's Jim here. I've been wondering if...ummm if you'd ahh want to get a coffee. So we can have a little umm chat?" Jim spoke as he left a voicemail.

Jim Thorens saw Sarah Silva making her way to the empty chair in front of him, a smile lit on his face as it had always done in the before-times. Except now, it wasn't the same as the before times.

"Forget me already." Sarah mouthed in silence and though Jim could not read lips, he understood. He understood every bit of that silent air.

"Forget me already. It's not good for you to still remember me. I want you gone from my life, please?" Sarah requested with frustration creased on her face and a subtle roll of her eyes. This time, Jim's pain was audible.

"What if we..." Jim started to speak before being completely cut off by Sarah.

"Don't worry". Sarah said, as she stood up and left.
3.3k · Feb 2016
Paper Giraffes
Star Gazer Feb 2016
If I could build the world,
It'll have a paper zoo,
Full of paper animals,
It'll have a paper plane,
A paper town and paper train.

I'll create a little paper giraffe,
Because I know it'll make you laugh.
I'll draw it's spots like paper graphs,
And I'll make it walk on paper paths.
If we went to court I'd let you follow my paper trail.

Doesn't matter how much paper I spend,
I'll always have some paper to lend,
Some of the paper are hard and some bend,
When I text I'll hit a paper send...

But it doesn't matter,
Because you'd light all the paper,
Fall into arson and shatter,
My paper world.

No matter how much I can create or give,
You'll never let any one of my dreams live.
3.2k · Feb 2016
Isolation...
Star Gazer Feb 2016
The white shadow,
With hooves of diamond,
Yet pigeonholed,
To live the life of a racehorse.

The smiling poet,
With heart of gold,
Yet pigeonholed,
To live the life of isolation.
I was told, sometimes being alone lets out your greatest expressed poems.....
Star Gazer Mar 2016
She's a very honest soul,
A brave soul without care.
She will tell you of her day
so listen to the words
she speaks.
She will hide things,
But she will tell you
When you feel like
Listening.
She won't ever force
You to say anything
Or ever force you
To do anything
For her.
She's beautiful,
Smart, creative
and definitely
caring.
She's able to bring up
any topic to talk about
so awkward silences
are non existent with her.
When you look into her eyes
If you haven't fallen in love
You definitely will.
There's a shine that
is indescribable.
The moon light can't compare
To the shine that glimmers
in her eyes.
If you can make her look
at you with that shine,
consider yourself a lucky man.
You will never find an angel
Who will be able to care
While at the same time
Make you laugh without a care.
Cherish her every second
Cherish her every moment
Because you have won the lottery,
Love her with all your heart
and make her happy.
If I could pick someone to be
With right this moment,
I would pick her.
So you should realise
Just how lucky you are.
You definitely do not
want to lose her.
Watch as the sun rises and sets
And you'll realise,
Her beauty is way beyond
Any of that.
Make her happy for me,
I just want you to make
her smile.
                 Love her
Like I never had
                 The chance
to.
3.0k · Mar 2016
Girl
Star Gazer Mar 2016
Little girl, little girl
Can you still remember your dream?
Little girl, little girl
Are you going to be the sun and gleam?

Teenage girl, teenage girl
Why are they always being mean to you?
Teenage girl, teenage girl
Can you tell me what I should do?

Teenage girl, teenage girl
Why did you leave me here alone?
Teenage girl, teenage girl
You left your comrade in war zone.

Teenage girl, teenage girl
What's it like up there in the skies?
Teenage girl, teenage girl
Why did we have to say our goodbyes?

Teenage girl, teenage girl
I wonder do you see me near you?
Teenage girl, teenage girl
I have a degree that is near due.

Teenage girl, teenage girl
I'm so sorry you can't ever age
Teenage girl, teenage girl
I'm so sorry there's no new page.

Adult girl, adult girl
I don't know if you exist
But I miss you.
[Tales of my late best friend. Tales of the one person who truly understood me]
2.9k · Jan 2017
Let's Grow Old Together
Star Gazer Jan 2017
Show me a field that is filled with golden flowers
hours upon hours the smell of the grass elevates the scents
that seems to send passerbys into an overdrive of envy.
Lend me your hand so that my coarse skin is softened by yours,
the door to my heart is forever open awaiting your entrance
and the defences are fending off other fiends so don't worry about guard
because as hard as it is to trust, I've let my guards down a long time ago.
Show me that you can be the green to my gold
let us grow old but never grow up as we play like kids
let the bliss fill both our hearts as we unite together against the world.
Girl, will you find it in yourself to love me? ...as much as I love you?
2.8k · May 2016
Diary Of A Hogwarts Student
Star Gazer May 2016
I came to study the magical arts
But these troublesome three students
Hermione, Ron and harry,
Last semester those three students
Killed our defence against the dark arts teacher
I guess if he didn't stand against three kids,
How would he survive against the real dark arts,
Now this semester they're up to their shenanigans again
I wish I could just Wingardium Leviosa them off a cliff
But if I do that
Or even if I fail my grade this semester
My parents will probably Avada Kedavra me.
*******, those troublesome students, always disrupting my education. ****.
Star Gazer Apr 2016
I close my eyes for a minute,
In my mind I slowly revisit,
The memories of that house
And how I use to be in it
but we're coming to a finish
I'm saying, "I love you both",
And although I say it in English
To the both of you it's foreign,
Probably Spanish or Finnish.
I tell you 'I love you both',
Because you have both
Been part of my growth.
I tell you 'I love you',
even if I can't come around as much
My love hasn't wavered as such,
and when you two fight,
it feels like there's a tight clutch
As I grasp for air in my chest
Wondering
When the bickering
Will lay to rest.

I love you both mum and dad,
I love you the way you have loved me,
And even if we come from
A different family tree,
Share different facts of biology,
I love you no different
As if you were my biological
Parents,
and it's apparent,
that we share the same bond.
2.5k · Mar 2016
Poop monster - poop hero
Star Gazer Mar 2016
The **** monster was a friendly one
He'd love to lay on the roads under the summer sun
He'd love following in the footsteps of those who run
But he for one never felt useful to anyone at all
So he decided one day to rescue people at a single call.

The **** monster slowly exceeded his name
Became the **** hero
But still had people criticise his methods
Saying "your ways stink"
Or the even more rotten responses
"You disgust our city "...

But he kept a high head and decided to spread cheer
For when you love something
You will give it all you have
And the **** hero really loved the city.
2.4k · Mar 2016
Untitled
Star Gazer Mar 2016
When Pablo Neruda does it, it's beautiful art.
When I do it, it's cringy and desparate.
When Van Gogh does it, it's dedication.
When I do it, it's insanity and a restraining order.
When Picasso does it, it's cubism.
When I do it, it's scribbles.
When Robert Frost does it, it's wisdom.
When I do it, it's 'Facebook Garbage'.
2.2k · Aug 2016
The Grand Canyon [haiku]
Star Gazer Aug 2016
He watched her smile crack,
Like split-roads in a canyon
Letting water flow.
2.1k · Mar 2016
Stuck
Star Gazer Mar 2016
I've always been poisoned at the words of people
Living in a world stuck between lesser evils
They told me I was unlovable for humanity
They would address me as 'you manatee'
And I just started believing that I was unlovable.

Unlovable is another name for a soul
Who will slowly and surely roam alone
Unlovable just means ugly, fat and pathetic.
And I agree with you all,
        I am unlovable...
2.0k · Feb 2016
Untitled
Star Gazer Feb 2016
Candle wax, Bees wax,
I sat in my slacks,
Checking over my facts.
I am a guy, check,
I am a cool guy, check,
I am an incredible cool guy, check.
List after list of self motivation,
Maintaining my hearts palpitations,
After a while of checking lists after lists,
I found myself falling from the realm of facts,
Into a realm of fiction.
It almost became an addiction,
Into self delusion that I was better than I really am,
But who really cares.....

        I am me,
And I am cool,
I am an incredible cool guy.
Just kidding, I'm quite plain...
1.9k · May 2016
I do not love you...
Star Gazer May 2016
I do not love you as if you were oceans, or aquamarine,
Or the ice cubes that lay to melt as time passes.
I love you as precious petals are to be adorned,
by the stem, in between the Earth and the skies.

I love you as the stars visible in the day
but kept to say all the silent beauty of the night;
thanks to your love for the lit path guidance,
illuminated by a livid canvas, yet alive in my heart.

I love you simply because it is impossible not to,
I love you with every part of my cells and molecules,
so I love you because I can't not love you.

then know; if I live on with every breath, so do you
In my thoughts, my memories and heart,
In my thoughts, you spun the strings of my heart
1.8k · Feb 2016
Shoulders by Shane Koyczan
Star Gazer Feb 2016
"I remember how my grandmother tried to explain our world to me-
She told me a story
She said the ground and the sky, they love each other
But they don’t have arms
So rain; that’s just how they hold one another.
I began to see how the earth and sky need each other.
But I wondered about us.
In this perfect design, where do we fit?
Which piece of the puzzle are we?"*
-Shane Koyczan
I don't own any piece of this , I just really admire how well its written and the deep meaning behind it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=An4a-_NjilY
1.8k · Jan 2017
Teacup
Star Gazer Jan 2017
Teacup, you probably don't know this but I'm fighting
trying to find a way to make you happy, to brighten your day,
but the lighting is out of place, and I've been facing demons alone.
Teacup, home is everything that's by your side, so don't try to hide,
please don't say goodbye because I'm running out of answers,
the question dances in my mind, how much more can I take
was I one of your mistakes, did I misjudge the situation I'm in.

Teacup, you probably don't know this but I'm fighting
trying to find a way to make you smile, even if it's just for a while
I would survive the wild just with the thought of your smile.
Everything positive I have felt, has started with meeting you,
so renew the starting hand we've been dealt and find a new way
to overcome the lightning, the clouds and the thunder.
Bring us closer under the spell of love.

Teacup, you probably don't know this but I'm fighting
but I'm losing you and it's scaring me...
I'm fighting but I'm losing you...
1.8k · Apr 2016
-
Star Gazer Apr 2016
-
I'm sitting here listening to a song
Wondering how I was so wrong
I used to think the days were long
But with days comes longer nights
It's hard to determine wrong or right
The way my face lit up from fright
As I knew I'd have to spend it alone
Thinking I'll be fine, I have grown
But a house is never ever a home
When I have to spend it isolated
And I hear echoes of words
Words that may remain unstated
As I get into a slight altercation
With my own mind, debated
Whether I should feel happy
Whether I should feel crabby
Whether this world was a big cage
Or that Earth was rather a grand stage
These purple walls feel black and white
And although the stars lit up the night
I'm left with the thought of how
Every star will eventually burn
Stabbing thoughts at every turn
As I start to think about all the encounters
All the people I have met
All the people I have yet to meet
And whether we were parallel lines
That were never meant to meet
Or we were somewhere in an
Almost asymptotic situation.

I had hoped my lives was not TanX
As I think on how my mind's been vex
Distorted , contorted to a fault.

I'm randomly thinking, over thinking
Just wondering whether I should be fine
Or draw upon another line
That separated the nights and the days
Where I was no longer dazed
By the fact that I have no real words to speak
And if I did, I would not know where to seek
As I keep my mindset on a ranting style
Letting it run wild
With thoughts of whether I should show concern
Over people of my past
As though the relapse of a friendship is evident
But it's not like lives became relevant
We kept thoughts to ourselves
Racking brains to sizes of elephants.
I ask myself,
Over and over again
No, I beg myself
Please pick up the pen
Just write your thoughts
Show the world your inner den
And then
I'm caught between writing useless words
That go unread or unheard
Fleeting like the migration of a bird
Just in and out of no real value
But I touched on many personal topics
And in a rather ectopic
Way this has become my personal diary.

I want to tell a story
It is about a star in the night sky
Well you see, this star
She was a bright one
She kept her light on
Just to guide the world home
And in her own life
She made those who felt alone
Felt appreciated, felt loved
She stole many hearts
Broke many hearts
And indeed broken as is
She knew how to fixed hearts
Sewed them up with threads
From the very veins that ran
Through her own heart.
Well you see one big problem
This bright lustrous star
Met a floating comet
This comet, you see
He wasn't a nice one
He wanted lights, gone
And kept his heart imprisoned
Inside a ribcage that
Resembled the cages
Within a hidden cave.
She, the bright light of a star
Was drawn to him,
Couldn't get near him,
Yet couldn't get far from him,
And so she knew of a solution
She let her lights dim,
Just so she could see him,
Just so she could hold him,
And with her fading lights
She left one night
Set up on a different life
When she knew nothing
Nothing could ever be right.
He, the comet felt stupid
Because although they floated
High above in space,
There was this asteroid
Named cupid
who tied their hearts together
...
And so he cried on and on
He cried till the tears were gone.

Light years pass by
He, the stupid comet
Met another star
That shined brighter than he
Have ever seen in a long time
Except he could only admire
He could only admire her from
A distance
In attempt at persistence
He realised her shine was warm
Her shine was comforting
Her shined stopped the hurting
Her shine lit through the curtains
Although she was different
Different to the old star
Yet the comet tried and tried
Wondering whether the part
Of him, that usually crashes
The Earth have died
Or whether he was just tired.
This comet had many uncertainties
But one thing was certain
He had not deserved her warmth
So he believed the Big Bang
Had made the comet and the star
Light years apart for a reason
And although the comet
Admired the beauty of the star
The kindness shown by the star
The care shown by the star
The warmth of the star
He knew maybe his life
As a comet was to only
Get along with a comet
And so with a conflicted mind
The comet found himself
A solution, the one thing
He had ever done right,
That was to bring the night
So that the star would
Always be around.
In the end of the story
Whatever the comet chose
Whatever the comet did
He knew within his mind
That no matter what
He would have made
A new marvellous friend.

The comet's light
  ... died...
within this last
  . ..line...
Star Gazer Apr 2016
Stopped at a red light
The wait for it to turn green
Asking 'How long has it been?'
As stars guide the night.
Sudden blackout of all light
As dark as an Auschwitz scene
With monsters and fiends
And darkness sets in fright.

Your teeth glowed bright
There was light again
From a poet's pen
I found comfort at your sight.
You barricaded me in safety
And shone the light that saved me.
You should know who you are. You have made me smile a lot lately. I thank you.
1.7k · Jun 2016
The Rabbit & The Cat
Star Gazer Jun 2016
Upon a hill hopped a rabbit,
Little to knowledge of talking
He eventually picked up the habit
And finally learnt how to speak.

His first words were to a cat,
'Miss, might I say you're beautiful?'
He asked looking for a little chat.
'It's fine by me' replied with slight purrs.

'Do you mind if i sit next to you?'
Asking once again to the purring cat,
'I just want more orange, less blue'
The rabbit said with a little sigh.

'I know some don't carrot all-
And it hurts my little feelings
Because though I'm not tall
I have a heart as big as my chest'

The rabbit looked in her direction
'You sure have a large meowth' cat said,
'You sure have perfect complexion'
The rabbit replied with cocksure glee.

'You've got to be kitten me' cat snickered
Cats eyes gleamed under the light of beauty
'At least I'm not a hare in your burger' rabbit bickered-
Back and forth till their smiles shone bright.

'May I say one more thing?' bunny asked
'Yes purr sure you may' cat replied.
'No star can leave a light like your cast-
Because you are the brightest and most beautiful
star to ever lived on this Earth'.

**1837–1901 Rosoideae
1.7k · Sep 2016
Distance
Star Gazer Sep 2016
It's hard enough that we're so far away
But we can't even seem to say what we want to say.
And
Maybe I'm digging up old hurt
But somedays it seems better to pray in a hearse.

It's hard enough that we're oceans apart
But we can't even seem to imprint tattoos on our hearts
And
Maybe the right waves haven't pulled us together
But I know in your arms, things will be better.
[Too many buts and maybes
makes the world go crazy.]
1.6k · May 2016
Pad Thai [Haiku]
Star Gazer May 2016
I felt unsettled

So I got myself some good

Thai feud in Thailand
1.6k · Apr 2016
Alphabet
Star Gazer Apr 2016
A is for how AMAZING you are.
B is for how BEAUTIFUL your soul is.
C is for CARING like your heart of solid gold that is caring
D is for DIRECT like how your honesty makes you direct.
E is for how ELOQUENT your words are.
F is for how FANTASTIC you make me feel.
G is for the GRAVITY that pulls me towards you.
H is for HAPPY as in how you made me so happy.
I is for INDESCRIBABLE.... I don't know what to write.
J is for JOYFUL, in other words how you make me feel.
K is for KIND, you are the most kind-hearted person in this universe,
L is for LIFT, what you do to my spirits everyday.
M is for MUSICAL, as in how your soul sings a song.
N is for NATURAL, for the way I can talk to you so naturally.
O is for OPEN like how you make me feel so open towards you.
P is for PASSION, the thing inside you when you talk about your interest.
Q is for QUARTZ, as in how your soul is a gem like mineral.
R is for RAD as in your personality is rad.
S is for SORRY sorry for this piece......
T is for THANK as in thank you for entering my life
U is for UMBRELLA, no real reason just couldn't find a U word
V is for VIOLIN, you make me unafraid to admit my music experience.
W is for WONDERFUL as in your personality is wonderful
X is for X-RAY like how I'm not afraid to show you my inner thoughts.
Y is for YOU , you are, beautiful, amazing and it all starts with YOU.
Z is for ZEBRA, you see colour when others see black and white.

The ALPHABET is to show you that 26 letters is never enough to describe just how amazing you really are. Sadly there are only 26 letters in the alphabet , if there were 200000 I'm sure they still would not be enough to describe you. So I will describe you in four words.

KIND, AMAZING BEAUTIFUL,**AWESOME
1.5k · Feb 2016
Evil
Star Gazer Feb 2016
Her name was grace,
A very pretty face,
Slowly she paced,
Into my embrace,

...

A pretty face,
Yet a ***** soul,
Not even a trace,
of being able to console.

...

My great aunty died that year,
I had hope she would hold me,
"She probably deserved it" to my ears,
Oh how her false love was like a cold sea.

...

She would tell me to call her "grumpy *****",
And out of confusion I did what she requested,
She wasn't popular, an isolated soul, a niche,
probably because she had a heart that wasn't blessed.

...

Staring into her eyes, was like staring into the abyss,
Nothing to care for, nothing but a tiny glint of light,
Yet everything about that girl felt so amiss,
Because even though she was bright, she wasn't polite...
Star Gazer Mar 2016
She's different than other girls
She doesn't care for looks
She will tell you to enjoy yourself
So if she wants a slice of cake
You better get it for her.
She's brave,
She's not a quitter
Even when the world tumbles
She'll still stand like a tower.
She sometimes doesn't talk
It is in these times of silence
That you really must just
Be silent with her.
Sit across from her or next to her
And tell her that if she wants to talk
You will be there for her.
She's beautiful and rarely knows it
She doesn't shy away from confrontation
So make sure not to anger her too much
A little playful anger isn't harmful.
If she loves you
Consider yourself the luckiest guy ever
Trust me
You'll know when you see her smiles
It's magical.
I don't mean be there for her smiles only
Be there for her tears too
For her sad moods
For her angry moods
But trust one thing I will tell you
It doesn't last forever.

She's smart, I must warn you
But the great thing about her
You don't have to be smart
You don't have to pretend to be mature
You don't have to quit doing things you love
If she talks about higgs boson and you're talking about rappers
She will show immense interest even when she has no idea what you're saying.
Trust me,
She's a gift to this world.
Cherish her,
Make as many memorable moments with her
Make memories that I never got a chance to make
Most importantly make her happy.
You are lucky to be with such an amazing person.
Make her happy for me.
Star Gazer Mar 2016
I used to be a sweet heart
I used to be all right
I tell myself I love you
But I'm creeping every night
When I met you at the party
And I told you you were pretty
I was honestly just trying to score
But you made me wait a week
Just to kiss you on the cheek
Now it's breaking my heart to break yours

I said I love you in the summer
But will I love you in the fall?
I thought I wasn't like the others
Guess I'm an ******* after all
Come September I'll be gone, gone, gone
Come September I'll be gone, gone, gone

I used to be a good guy
I used to be all right
I tell myself I love you
But I'm creeping every night
When I met you at the party
And I told you you were pretty
I was honestly just trying to score

I said I love you in the summer
But will I love you in the fall?
I thought I wasn't like the others
Guess I'm an ******* after all
Come September I'll be gone, gone, gone
Come September I'll be gone, gone, gone
Whoa whoa, whoa whoa, gone, gone, gone
Come September I'll be gone, gone, gone

I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel bad
I've been trying but I just can't get to feel bad
When did I become one, one, one of the bad guys?

I said I love you in the summer
I love you in the summer
But will I love you in the fall?
I lo-lo-love you in the fall
I thought I wasn't like the others
I wasn't like the others
Guess I'm an ******* after all
Come September I'll be gone, gone, gone
Come September I'll be gone, gone, gone
Whoa whoa, whoa whoa, gone, gone, gone
You gon' miss me when I'm gone, gone, gone, gone
Gone In September - Mike Posner

I do not own any part of the song.
1.5k · May 2016
Meeting You
Star Gazer May 2016
Meeting you...

*It was like learning to ride a bike
Without the comfort of training wheels
And
It was like learning to swim
Without the dangers of water
I will carry it through the rest of my life.
1.4k · Feb 2016
The Artist
Star Gazer Feb 2016
She was an artist, who drew me into her life.
The way she’d paint my name on her canvas.
The way she swept me away with every blank verse.

But one fact remained,

She drew me into her life only to smudge me into different shades,
Painted my name in watercolour as my name was smeared off the page,
And with every blank verse I fell, plummeting into an uncertain oblivion.

She was an artist,
Who got sick and tired of dead colours,
So she drew colours from broken hearts,
And bruised emotions.
1.3k · Feb 2016
Under The Tree
Star Gazer Feb 2016
Trees swaying against the gentle wind,
The birds vocalize their melodic tune.
Across the tree sat an unloved boy,
Who tried to make sense of the world.
He would ask the birds questions,
As though they were his friends.
Play with a colony of ants
In pretense that they were his siblings.
One fateful day an unloved girl,
Placed herself next to him,
Mesmerised by his playfulness to nature,
She asks, "Do you know what love is?"

The boy pondered and pondered,
Coming up with a simplistic explanation,
"Love is like the tree, it holds everything together",
The unloved girl took the boys hand with hers,
And said,
"Love isn't something figured out,
It's not meant to be known but felt,
It can be confusing as black holes,
To as simple as a bird in a nest."

She took a deep breath with his hands still in hers,
"Love is what I want us two to figure out".

This was how an unloved boy,
And an unloved girl,
Became just a boy,
And just a girl,
For they found love in each other.
1.3k · Jun 2016
Happiness [Haiku]
Star Gazer Jun 2016
I am happy now
From the bottom of my heart
Thanks to you darling.
I woke up with a smile when I slept with a frown.
1.3k · Feb 2017
Pills won't fix everything.
Star Gazer Feb 2017
We live in a world where some choose to sit idle by
as a cry for help is silenced by an obsession with wealth,
as mental health concerns suffers the silent treatment
and reason categorises wounds and scars to visible marks.
Sometimes the marks are visible, the physical projection of pain,
the doctors deem them fixable, as if the pain ingested
could be cured by a pill or an injection, it's reckless
to assume pain from a broken perspective.
It is not effective to judge what should and shouldn't hurt,
sometimes it just hurts, the dirt in a wound waiting to blister
like a twister caught between an earthquake and a tsunami,
an army of different antidepressants swallowed without hesitance,
but sometimes it still hurts. It just hurts.

We live in a world where suicide is one thing countries share in common,
and often we ask ourselves 'do politicians ever think about people?'
The feeble argument between money and lives, as the night
passes its light onto different matters. When a person falls in a forest,
can their cries for help be heard. The muttered words are non existent,
but the persistent debate of what is going to be next in the budget cut,
loses touch on what is really human; 'when are we going to fund the help
that mental health concerns deserve?'.

The children is our key to the future, like candles alighting tomorrow
so why are we letting mental illness blow out the lights.
The children is our key to the future, but what future must we share
if humanly care and compassion is missing from the equation,
a new train station will not provide a shoulder for those who need it,
is human kindness disappearing?
How many more lives must we watch perish?
1.3k · Feb 2016
The Forest
Star Gazer Feb 2016
When she spoke of birds and bees,
She wasn't speaking about ***,
Enumerating about leaf and trees,
Twinkle over a topic quite perplex.

When she spoke of rain checks,
She wasn't speaking about shopping,
Instead fretting over the birds in the nests,
Trees that perish by wood chopping.

When she spoke of a branch,
She wasn't speaking of business,
She spoke of destructive avalanche,
That pressure trees to diminish.

When she spoke of wood,
She wasn't speaking of phallus,
Or a portrayal of manhood,
She expounded on nature's palace.

When she spoke of nature,
Her passion burned hotter than a bushfire,
For she witnessed creatures endangered,
And the animals that suffered in our crossfire....

....Our crossfire between money and satisfaction...
1.3k · Nov 2016
Sad Cypress
Star Gazer Nov 2016
I smiled and stared at lady death
eyes burnt of hatred and contempt
each tallied line of promises kept
And to lady death, I owe a large debt.

Goodbye, for when the star sets tonight
the debt collector will surely arrive.
I did bid not for thee to come
But thee came and took everything away
so come the morning sun
unadorned by light, thy presence have frayed.

Let paintings and portraits lay to rest
touch the stillness of a silhouette
dance to the drums of love and happiness
just never forget- to think of the stars.
-------

I love you all
Goodbye.
1.2k · Feb 2017
To StarShine
Star Gazer Feb 2017
Ever since I met her, I felt like I've been living in a fantasy world
where pearls are found on land, diamonds are bound to our hands
and the passing of the sands seems all too quick for me and her.
I have dreamed of a love like this, a love that keeps me up at night
not from fright nor fear of what may come in the darkness
but the way an artist envisions his paintings and drawings walking,
talking behind each hidden smile and each following eye
I felt like I've leapt on the canvas and painted exactly what I wanted.
This girl, she makes me scared, makes me happy, makes me sad,
not the bad kind of sad but sad to ever think about disappointing her,
the blur in memories are filled in with moments where her smile is visible,
like a mythical creature; I can not believe such a beautiful girl exists.
Betwixt the sunrises and sunsets, I've seen my share of happiness,
my life is one happy mess and it's thanks to that one angel.

My starshine, may we be together forever in time,
I love you always and forever; whichever one of those is longer,
and each day I grow stronger with nothing but the thoughts of you.
So because of you, I am happy again...but also scared.

Scared...because I'm scared I may never ever love again,
unless that person was you.

Happy valentines day beautiful.
1.2k · Jun 2016
Without You
Star Gazer Jun 2016
Last night I thought I could live without you
Tonight I thought I couldn't live without you.
I guess I'm convincing myself for what I'm about to do...
For what I have to do....
To live without you...
1.2k · May 2016
Falling To Be with You
Star Gazer May 2016
I can't fight the feeling
that there's a ceiling
capping our love.
I can't help feeling broken
when we haven't spoken
for a while.
I know I long to see you smile.

I'm
caught in a game of chase
like when I was chasing you
or you chasing me too.

We kept circling back
to where we met
for the very first time.

Till I realised
you made a home
with someone else
where we first met
and I have been playing chase
all alone
like a dog with a collar
without a bone
just chasing its own
all alone.
Stumbling to make you smile.

Dying just to make you happy.
1.2k · Jun 2016
Sleep Deprivation
Star Gazer Jun 2016
In my lack of sleep
I peed on a toilet seat
That was not the worst though
Because as the saying goes
You surely reap what you sow
And I sowed a bad seed,
I sowed hatred from the love
That a girl showed me.
I made a puddle of ***
A muddled up mess
And I must confess
I've finally learnt of regret.
No matter how much you wipe it off
You'd hang your head in shame
Knowing that you let a droplet of ***
Land on what was a pristine toilet seat.
So you stand there apologising
Realising no matter how much you do
The toilet seat will never take you back.

So you hold your heart
Pretend it's not shaking
Pretend it's not breaking
And slowly march on.
1.2k · Feb 2017
Bye bye :)
Star Gazer Feb 2017
I wanted my last poem be a tribute to my girlfriend.
I am no longer going to write on hellopoetry.
I've said it a few times before but could never find myself saying goodbye properly; but this time I'm making the effort.
Goodbye everyone, I love you all.

Go do amazing things Liz, I believe in you. Remember, life is more than just people's words and judgements, don't let people tell you what you can or can't do. You write from such raw emotions, I want you to know I think your writing is beautiful. Don't let your past dictate your future, it's not the shadows that show us where to go, but the light ahead of us.


Rachel: don't ever give up writing, just know I'll always read your poems.

Jo; don't forget it I'm proud of you. I've seen you be strong little football star, so I know you are strong.

Lere; I know we've been a little distant but you got life handled little bro, keep staying strong.

Wardha; I know stressful moments feels like they come more often than they go away but I'm certain that one day you'll find moments where stress, sadness all dissipates. I hope you find it but for now all I can say is I thank you for being my friend.

And Delilah: you are amazing in so many ways and you should really see yourself through my eyes one day, keep fighting, you know I'm cheering you on from afar, you know I'm always a message away- don't give up, life is so much more. Hang in there dee. I am right by your side whenever you need me

Goodbye
If any of you are on kik- hiddenagenda20 is my name; yes I realise it's a little ominous but it was actually a slight pun when I didn't want to reveal my gender to people - so I named myself hidden a gender. But don't ever feel scared to message me.

Goodbye my friends, my bestie, my stars and the people who's held me up when I've wanted to fall so many times. I really owe being alive and happy to all of you.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart; I'm sure you won't understand how much every single person on here has had an impact on me and how much I want to thank you. So from the bottom of my heart; thank you very much for keeping me here. I never regretted a single moment.
1.1k · Aug 2016
Mistakes [Haiku]
Star Gazer Aug 2016
Mistakes and heartbreak
they seem to go together
but I was blinded.
1.1k · Apr 2016
Plantation
Star Gazer Apr 2016
When I was a kid
I lived with my grandparents
And god forbid
They ever enjoy each others company.
I grew up being taught
That if your feelings come short
Just go water the plants
And all your sadness turns to naught.
I was only a kid at the time
But even I knew love wasn’t in their mind,
It was more of a tolerance.

Flowers only bloom
In the face of peoples gloom
Because every rose petal
Lives from a pain that settles
inside all of us.
1.1k · Feb 2016
Poop
Star Gazer Feb 2016
If you've ever had the chance to message me,
You'll realise at times I'll use the word ****.
Its nonsensical in a way but for me it meant more.
**** was the first word I can recall my late father saying.
**** was the word that brought laughter when I was sad.
**** still remains to have nostalgic value to me.
**** reminds me of the times when I pooped my pants,
And had people help me clean myself up.
In a way that **** and pants story reflects moments,
Moments in my life in which I became a horrid mess.
**** isn't just ****,
For when I die I don't want people being sad,
Or even uttering 'oh ****!'
I want them to say 'oh ****!',
For then and only then would I know that,
I truly lived.
1.1k · Jun 2016
A Second In The Colosseum
Star Gazer Jun 2016
Well the stages
Were lit for these people
And those pages,
Demanded another sequel.

The stroke of a pen,
The swipe of a blade,
Dare to do this again?
Do I let myself be afraid?

Each sequential simile,
Painted the portrait
That was given to me
of emotional anguish and torture.

While sunbathing in the shadows
I let the thoughts consume me
And as I'm alone, praying not to explode,
I remember the way that you'd hold me.

I was breathing, speaking, hurting,
a mask behind a rugged shell that was forgiving,
But under a slight gap in an undrawn curtain,
I was struggling, grieving, and tired of living.

The stage was roaring,
Viewers were watching, laughing,
And as I watched their smiles soaring,
I convinced myself to stop cutting.*
_________________­__
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...

I am not one day closer to death
I am having one extra day of living
And if I shall witness my final breath
I am leaving this world singing.
"...I saw beauty in mountains and sunsets
...I saw beauty in things labelled 'as usual'
...And though I tried so very hard to forget
...I can't seem to find myself as beautiful."
                 -The version of me that let himself die.

___________________________________
1.1k · Feb 2016
Cirrus Clouds [Haiku]
Star Gazer Feb 2016
Cirrus clouds tilting,
Doing all for the dry land,
Yet still stained with salt.
1.1k · Mar 2016
I could hear her laughing
Star Gazer Mar 2016
I could hear her laughing
On the other side of the darkness
The echoes resonate in my ear
I float there like a carcass
Unable to produce an explanation
There's a certain sharpness
'Where's it coming from?'
I grab my ears like a harness
Pulling at it like a parachute.

I could hear her laughing
On the other side of the darkness
She takes the easy path in
Leaving me in an utter dark mess.
I could hear her laughing
The constant laughing like a kid
Wind escaping me, gasping,
She is a saucepan without a lid
Constant reverberations of laughter
Maybe she came to find her happiness
Her happily ever after.

I could hear her laughing
On the other side of the darkness
And I reciprocate with laughter
Nestling in between my parka .
[Tales of my late best friend. Tales of the one person who truly understood me]
1.1k · Oct 2016
Time
Star Gazer Oct 2016
"Dave?"
My stomach was shaking, almost churning to every single beat. Dumf. Dumf.
I remembered that day clearly, the 21st of January 1995.
My heart kept racing on but I still didn't know why it was so unsettling.

Most mornings, I had awoken to the sight of the ever so handsome boy-toy of mine, 'Dave'. This morning it wasn't the same, when I say it wasn't the same, it was like I was in a parallel universe kind of ****...'not the same'.

Most times we were attached, not in a 'meet you at the middle of the slice of pizza' kind but the literal kind. I haven't gone a night without sitting on the other side of the toilet door or as Dave liked to call it "Dear I'm just painting the porcelain because white is just way too plain", it was cute the first forty times but it still grew old quick.

The clock had turned its short hand to 9 and that was all that mattered to me in that moment. It was 9am: breakfast time. I didn't smell Dave's pancakes, I didn't hear the sizzling of frying pans or the clanging of things... I don't cook much, if not at all; so I wasn't really sure what Dave was doing but I knew it had a lot of clangs and dings.

My day was invaded by a little bit of rain, the rain pattering against the windows used to be what Dave and I loved. When it rained, it meant we could just stay inside and enjoy each others company.

Time passed differently
It always passed differently...
I decided to sleep most of the day away until Dave came back the next day because he always did.

__________________­______
25th June 2075

"Dave?" My stomach was churning to every single beat. Two women enter both dressed in some ridiculous halloween costume. "I just woke up"

"Yes you did", the blonde hair woman said to me.

"Dave?" I called out again.

This time the other one decided to open their mouth, "Ms Louise, there hasn't been a Dave for a long time. You haven't been taking your medication have you ma'am?"
_________________­_______
26th June 2075

"Dave?"...

*Time passed differently.It had always passed differently...
[In another world where relationships between people are represented by visible tethers you wake up one morning to find yours undone.]
1.1k · Apr 2016
Poet
Star Gazer Apr 2016
You know you're a poet
When you have walked the tightropes
Of being placed into a confined label
And still look up to a brighter sky of hope.

You know you're a poet
When you hear echoes of voices
That resonate within your mind
From all the mistakes and bad choices.

You know you're a poet
When you can see shades of colour
Within a black and white film
And see value beyond the dollar.

You know you're a poet
When the winter comes you cheer
For all the new found imagery
Like the sight of snow that is white clear.

You know you're a poet
When spring has arrived
You think of a spring in a step
and how a pen-spring is alive.

You know you're a poet
When heartbreak is motivation
For a chance to write sullen words
And heart ache becomes a wonderful creation.
1.0k · Feb 2017
Book
Star Gazer Feb 2017
I am not a book you can put down and pick up when you're up for it,
I am not the chorus of a song, I am the song in its entirety
I will  inspire to be a better person in the name of you,
I would choose to walk to the ends of the universe and pray not to fall,
only to have fallen into an abyss waiting for you,
only to have fallen so far in love with you.

I am like a rolling thunder constantly in movement,
I am human and my human heart is falling apart,
the alarms are ringing in my ears and my tears,
only feels the fear that my shivering hands feel.
I am human and my human heart is beating itself up for you.

I am not a book you can put down on a shelf to collect dust,
I am not the crumbs and crust at the end of what is left of a pizza,
nor am I a people pleaser, I am the embodiment of a raging storm
chose to conform to its environment because fighting a futile fight
is pointless.

I am not an owl awake in the night because I chose to stare at stars,
I am filled with scars that I am hoping the trail of a shooting star could fill,
the night ink drenched on a broken quill, the missing smile,
the living portrayal of denial and a hurting heart.

In my mind we are forever together, in my mind I am holding you,
sober news sounds better than drunk news, the world is safer
the later the hours turn and arm in arm, we are close.
I will always close my eyes and dream of that better life I painted,
even if it is tainted with the wet stains of streaming tears, I close my eyes
painting blue skies with a figure filled with dried eyes where cries
are silenced.
I am still painting, that Disney wedding embedding costumes into mind,
I might be blind but I'll still find my way to your arms, and each scar
is dissipating, the world is levitating on our shoulders
but it doesn't matter.

Please tell me I am still dreaming...because I would rather be dreaming
than imagining...

I am not a book you can put down and pick up when you want,
I am not a picture book with figures erased and faded ink, I am sinking...

I am not a book you can put down so ...please can you come pick me back up?
1.0k · Apr 2016
Hopeful V Stubbornness
Star Gazer Apr 2016
Life is not a game for the stubborn.
Sometimes the things we aspire for,
Are like a rose that is more thorns than petals,
And while we hold onto it, the pain settles,
Deeper and deeper.

Sometimes being stubborn is our own flaw,
Keeping us held high hopeful.

Life is a vine,
That scratches at you, the more you hold
Onto what you just can't have.

As one of my favourite anti-hero states

'You hit ’em and they get back up. I hit ’em and they stay down'...

And when life hits you beyond breaking,
You rise your head and see the beautiful things.
New view, new perspective and new things.
1.0k · Nov 2016
Do You Care About Me?
Star Gazer Nov 2016
Remember a time when you cared about me and my life,
when lights were dim and you lit wood on fire just for me,
before 10:40 p.m was too late to talk to me because you cared,
and now I'm scared, sitting on the edge of my bed afraid
like a cat set astray, I'm afraid of what might come by being alone
because being at home was everything you made me feel
and now the steel, the wood, the bricks are all disappearing
and the searing memory burnt into my mind is all that is present.

Please tell me , do you care enough to tell me you're okay,
tell me about your day, what you feel you have to say,
just the way things had once been. I'm tired and alone
waiting for a hello that probably won't come.

I crave the attention but I'm dying for the reminder that you
at least care about me.

Do you still remember me? The guy who's heart has been hurting
worsened by the simple objects in my room, because my room
is painted purple yet feels blue because I have mental images
that spans limitless, all of which I spent time with you
watched the tissue get discarded onto the floor as we cry our eyes out
from the cloud of movies where a man falls in love with a girl
who becomes his whole world only to have things fall apart
as dismembered hearts sit atop the shelf of books untouched, dust filled
because unwilled hearts chose to separate, and life is so much like nature
left and right danger, trust is a hill and mutual care & love is a mountain,
so very worth it but yet so very hard to climb.
If not....let me feel lonely, let me be alone....because no point in delaying inevitable goodbyes.

I hope I'm not wrong for letting my heart decide who to love...

I'm tired, going to bed.
1.0k · Sep 2016
Happy
Star Gazer Sep 2016
I'm happy that she's happy
if I tell myself that long enough
maybe I'll be able to convince myself
till I am finally fit to say farewell.
I've lied to myself in millions of ways
just to keep the demons behind
as though blinded by lies kept me alive
I wanted all of what I tell myself to be true.

I'm happy that she's happy
because it is the only way I tell myself
that I'm allowed to finally move on
but history always proves me wrong
because I don't know how to let go of what's gone.

You left me
&
I told myself
I was fine with that.

...

As long as you are happy.
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