I have set my heart to rest in the palms
Of so many others, each a spiralling hate
grown from the echoes of differences
but I guess I've come to regret my mistakes.
I have loved as much as I have lost
Watched the tides take love from me like a kite
caught between the drifts of stormy winds
Just hoping that one day things will be alright.
Maybe I trusted myself with too many others,
screamed 'here take a piece of my heart...
do what you want with it because I trust you
Not to ever break it into pieces and parts'.
I never did learn, what it was like to not trust
And I guess doing so, I drew the short end
of a twisted stick, just some sick game to those
Who saw it fun to break hearts over and over.
I look around, I see people filled with life
Filled with joy, I look at a mirror and I see
a desperate cry for help that goes unheard
because of all the things unsaid like simply
'I love you and I hope you do too'.
I guess me...and others...we weren't meant to be
We weren't meant to ever be lovers.
So I write this dedicated to those who I've loved...
And those who I have lost.

'A part of me will always remember what we had
And you might not think you had an impact
But I guess you gave me a piece of myself I never
knew that I ever had.

You have a piece of my heart-
And you can keep it;
I won't need it where I'm going...'

From: Someone you once knew, and someone who needs to forget.

You are the kindest girl I have met.
Your smile shines brighter than any stars
And if I could I would give you a million roses
And each one would definitely worth it.
You are coated in a petal of sweetness
And though every rose stands
You are a rose that stands out.
Pretty petals of a perfect pretty rose
is a metaphor that doesn't cover enough.
Your sense of humour is fantastic,
The things you say aren't sarcastic
It's humourous and adorable.
You are a precious little rose.

To dream a chain to the Victorian Era
leave the shadows casting of isolation
where held hands held significance
and 'I love you' was not said in summation.

A rose bud grew in an arid desert
each perfect proper piece of petal
gave of its own sense of charm
and stood statically special.

I watched the rose bud picked
off the ground in asperity
while I hesitated to be heard
and I watched it crumble terribly.

I sat in desolation, in my own oasis,
I wedded the rose in my hand,
dreamt of a victorian era rose
and saw distance between two lands.

I will forever hold the rose in memory
As a reminder of the scent of last June
coerced to feel a faint of love in heart
by nothing more than conversations at noon.

The wind whispers its song in my ears
Like the leaves of a cherry blossom
Gently touching against my face.

The light comforts the place of your hands
Like the soft feel of rose petals
With the alluring scent residue.

The warmth seeps into my mind
Where the thoughts of you
are properly propagated,

The love I feel in my heart
Is nurtured by the beautiful
portrait that is you.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I don't know what I would do without you.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
None of their beauty compares to you

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I can see a future and it involves you

Roses are red
Violets are blue
So far every last part has the word you

Roses are red
Violets are blue
That's because I'm always thinking about you

I sign off with a 'I love you darling, goodnight';
though I wish night never came,
I sign a start with 'Hey sweetheart, out comes the sky''
and I feel like I touched a little piece of heaven.
I face the grey clouds with a bit of a bitter smile
but I am reminded that every grey has a silver line
and with a simple silver line, you can seize the world,
but I know that I have as I sign off every night
"you are my world and I am glad you are in my life".

I touched heaven though I did not die,
I watched an angel from beneath the skies
who gave happiness and life, a new meaning.

I touched heaven though I did not die,
for heaven is in my heart and paradise
held no meaning without the touch
of what it felt like to be completed with love.

Anguished and agitated
Being barely bred breathable
Clearly crushing childhood
Desperate,dilapidated,dejected, DONE.

Between the nights,
with dimming lights,
I finally knew,
I wasn't afraid to be with you.

You weren't going to turn into the monsters,
that tear at my heart in the night,
You had the care that a heart couldn't foster,
and I somehow knew it at first sight.

You weren't ever going to be Freddy Krueger,
You'd run yourself over with a Kluger,
Than see me in any sort of nightmare,
That is your type of care.

You won't transform into Dracula,
Because with your warm words,
I felt completely spectacular,
and you made sure they were heard.

For you I would mature twenty five years in a day
Just to let you see the gravity of the words I say
For you I would build a stylish invisible cloak
Just so if you wished to hide like flames behind smoke
For you I would willfully wrestle brutish alligators
Just so I could hear you speak of how you'll see me later
For you I would build all new things about me
Just so you would see no shattered shards or defeated debris
For you I would be Frankenstein's experiment
Just so he would inflate my heart to that of an elephants.

You with a giant heart accept me for all I am
Whether my name would be Peter, Clark or Sam
You did not need me to change anything at all
There was nothing I could do but tumble and fall
You don't mind my current maturity levels
Or how I'll laugh at the word ***** devils
You seem to accept me for, well just me
And with you I feel there's no one else I need to be.

Love and stars are alike, they are both true
But I think the beauty of both things lie with you.
Repeating myself of love that flowers and bloom
like an echo that never fades in volume.

I stopped counting my heart beats
When I know my heart could count on you
And this is the last of today's word repeats
**"You will always be in my heart and I love you."

I don't know who I am,
I don't know what I am,
I don't know what to do,
I don't know what to be,
All I know is,
When you left you took something with you,
Something that made me feel like I knew things,
Something that allowed certainty to flow through my veins,
You took something,
And now I don't know what it was.

I held my breath just right
trying to figure out if I'm alive
until everything faded, just darkness
because your words
will only ever remain the harshest
and I'm forever reminded of you...
how you made me skip school
because I could tolerate dodgeballs
and projectile rocks...
...After all they are merely skin deep bruises
And the hatred produces
nothing but swelled bones and broken muscles
till everything was a struggle
But they are merely skin deep bruises...
It was not the dodgeballs that sent me crying
it was not the rock hurling that sent me home early
it was the poisonous ravenous tongue
that slithered on lies like it was at a skateboard rink
trying to drink the life and soul out of anything alive.
So you sent your fake condolences, your pity parties
made something 'arty' pretending that you were a friend
yet a fiend coated in a cloak of condescension
you've mentioned death by my ears enticing my every step
hoping that I fall to wreck and fail to ever stand tall, *****,
to be a pawn in your hands, your master plan
just holding back the tears as my palms push away
all your damaging words pretending that they never hurt.
I spent years and years rephrasing, repeating, remembering
'talk to the hand because the man isn't listening'
but the tears glisten in my eye sockets and though I
can convince myself I wasn't listening, I guess
I couldn't convince myself just enough...

You tore at me till there was nothing to tear at,
you prayed and preyed that I bit the dust,
hoping that there was nothing of me left,
and so...
I held my breath just right
trying to figure out if I'm alive...
because in that brief moment the only way to escape
was to remind you that 'there's nothing left,
you can't **** me today, or tomorrow,
because I have been nothing but dead'.

I held my breath just right
trying to figure out if I'm alive...
Turns out I did survive
And as I finish up this write,
I'd like to remind you
that you are all beautiful,
that you can survive
in the ways that I have
because the gentle touch of a rain
never cleanses the wounds
nor numbs the aching pain,
it merely reminds you
that there's another sunny day.

The raindrops weren't all the same,
And somedays I wished they were.

The raindrops came in all sizes,
And somedays I wished it didn't rain.

The raindrops came,
And somedays that's all I wanted.

Poets, we fall harder than others
We take blows that football players
Could never understand
Because we take internal damages,
We fight off emotional savages,
But we are different.

Different than what society created
Because we are the result
Of what we as poets choose to create
So would you cease and halt
At the thought of a dagger into your heart
Or would you turn it into a work of art?

Curvaceous Katie
Her eyes rained stars
Her smile stopped cars
And though I claim she's beautiful
I am indubitably
Not in love with Katie.

I met her through her friend Tracy
Tracy was the quiet type
But Katie went beyond incredible
The type of girl so attractive
That will drive men to commit Seppuku
But I chose not to fall for her.

I thought she was marvellous
One in seven billion.

You see, the sky was made blue
Crafted and moulded by the hands of zeus
When he had heard of the devastating news
That people considered him a fiend
He questions ' so yeah I'm a little mean,
But mean is the new cool isn't it?'
Unaware of the implications of being mean,
He was despised from all that is green,
To all that roamed on the grass of green.
He repeats 'so I threw Hephaestus down
a mountain, it wasn't that wrong',
Justifying his villainous acts.
The sky was painted blue,
by the brutal heart that bled
the same hue as sadness.

You see, now Helios he was different,
He was the kind with a kind interest,
Fought for light and repelled darkness,
Because he knew that darkness
Would only stain the sky
More so than it already has been stained.
He says 'There's a light lit for everyone,
A world to share what have been won
For spoils are not meant to feed greed
but to show that even though things get hard
you will always undoubtedly succeed'.

He tells all the people
that 'they are beautiful',
'They are amazing',
and for those who could not see it,
he shone a light,
just so they could see their reflections
In their mirror.
He says 'you are all beautiful
And handsome,
So if I find you dancing,
Please wear a smile,
Because a smile,
Is one of humans brightest form
Of appreciation of the light
I wish you see inside yourselves'.
{So to Bailey}- you are beautiful.
{So to Eriko}- you are beautiful
{So to SPT} - you are beautiful
{So to Lorie} - you are beautiful.
{So to Nameless} - You are handsome
{So to Miss Iverson}- you are beautiful
{So to Carol} - you are beautiful
{So to princess} - you are beautiful
{So to all} - you are all beautiful & handsome.

Words from Helios,

I stay up at night, late into the AMs riddled with guilt
Over how I grew too fond of one petal plucked flower
Watched it slowly rotted,decaying praying not to wilt
As I admired what once were stems in a indelible vase.

I hear of the ambience, lit up in a different hazy smoke,
Forced to let what I feel cascade into obvious oblivion,
Keeping clear calmness behind a messed mask that chokes
As the days drew long and the nights drew even longer.

Sunrise doesn't rise soon enough, and sunset sets too soon,
For fiery shadows built a furnace from my cold walls,
And before I could awake to the moon, I awoke to noon,
As you held every bit of a different burning candle light.

I'm sorry that I paved the pebbled pathway that you walked,
If I could reverse the sands, unsift across my hands,
Or captured every droplet of grain, wishing it wasn't caulked,
But I made the road that you tread on with you feet.

I'm sorry that every step you took only led you further,
And though I know you didn't want to be near after time taken,
I had hoped I could watch you stay afloat on a life preserver,
Rather than watch you drown, taking nothing but yourself.

I'm sorry that the days drawn out a different tale,
If I could bend time and stick it back together,
Just to make things better and watch as things unflail,
I'll always know I tried my best to give you my shoulders.

I set fire to your life, watched the smouldering ashes cast away into the air,
And for that I am sorry.

My life is The Truman Show
I openly cry the nights away,
I openly admit I miss the one I love,
I openly admit my wrongs,
I openly weep tears of joy,
I openly say I hate myself,
I openly say I love myself,
I openly use tissues to caress my skin,
I openly wipe my tears away,
I openly know I don't sleep when I'm sad,
I openly admit to being sad,
I openly treasure the people i love,
I openly believe that fate is still around,
I openly admit I'm weak,
I openly admit I need others help
I openly admit I've been broken by people,
I openly admit I don't want to live at times,
I openly admit I probably won't be able to get over that one person,

But....

My Life is a True Man Show.
And crying does not make me any less of a man.

Love is like a bridge that connects
Two together towards a world
Where thoughts and sense of security
ran wild.

We create little worlds with each person
and with each person leaving
our little worlds vanish with them.

'Quit while you're still ahead
Or one day you'll end up dead'
And I pushed the limits
Till I was content with infinite
And I woke up the next morning
To the sound of people mourning
That 'quitting' had died yesterday.

Oh honey, depression isn't pretty,
it isn't suppose to be,
people always connect sadness
with depression
but the connection is different,
it is a train of thought
like a chain cut short,
that is sturdily held together
but it doesn't last forever,
it is an armour that is worn
and polished everyday
just to say, 'I'm not sure'.

Oh honey, depression isn't pretty;
it isn't suppose to be,
and I want you to know clearly,
that there are always people
out there, somewhere,
who appreciate you for you
and who is nothing more than
a teardrop or a sweat dripping
away from help.

Some might ask,
'Are you depressed?'
and I can say, 'no I'm not',
so what I write is an expression of mind,
of how I wish you could find, that you
have a chance, because you deserve that chance,
the past is the past, a certain glance at the future
says that you could be doing so much more
and if you don't want to, that's your choice
but honey, depression isn't pretty
and it isn't suppose to be,
but you sure are beautiful,
so please keep staying strong
and marching on.

The word love was new to me
It was a strange concept
One I only ever saw on set.
Hollywood glamourised the word
Made peacocks out of normal birds
and taught that love always works.
There isn't a single soul mate,
There is no real workings of fate,
It takes trust, effort and patience.

I followed love, expecting a film,
I became a bit of a bitter bird,
but it was thanks to you,
that I realised, it only takes love
for love to work.

Her body,
The canvas of each poem she couldn't write.
Each cut of a blade,
Each edge of a razor,
Each ink of a bleeding pen,
Each pierce of a broken page
Spells out all her unread poems titled-
'Maybe this is better...'

"He could not dance",
That was what he was told,
And given a chance,
He might have nothing to behold.

It didn't stop him from trying,
Because upon the dance floor,
He felt as though he was flying,
A bird without wings yet could soar.

To afraid to look a fool, he took classes,
Where he was sat between other dancers,
Attention aroused by female asse....glasses,
He found his one true calling, the answer.

He went upon the floor in stride,
Holding every piece of him up high,
And with every inch of pride,
He let out an ensemble of moves without try.

So if they ever said he could never dance,
Best believe that if he was given a chance,
He could make tears roll down faces,
By the way his body move and paces.

So don't let people define what you can,
Or can't do.

You are a part of a race to the edge of the-
universe as it continues to expand.
While the rocket fuel and the flux capacitor-
Were still in ignition we found ourselves floating.
We stood still in the retrospect of time-
But we were moving light years beyond light years.

That was life after all isn't it?
A constant search and race for things-
That slowly become too unnecessary.

Keep chasing that promotion, till you're at the top-
Keep chasing the green notes, till you can buy the world-
Keep chasing the pocket filled friends.
Because one day the only thing chasing you-
Will be loneliness.

Take a little time-
Appreciate the people around you-
See the beauty within nature-
See the beauty within others-
And learn to love.

What is being beautiful?
Is being beautiful about the greatest figure?
Or who has taken the most pictures?

For me,
Being beautiful has less to do with looks,
and more to do with heart.
The way kindness seeps in at the start,
it would transform people to a work of art.
Beautiful isn't in the physical appearance,
It isn't about acne and clearance,
it is the one that you hold dearest,
As though their heart is of solid gold,
so the saying that is quite old,
'Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder',
so when models give of a cold shoulder,
Or the way celebrities form boulders,
From the bodies of their fans,
so amongst the waving hands,
I can truly say, not everyone is beautiful...

Beauty doesn't stem from the eyes,
It stems from a beautiful heart,
Beauty doesn't stem from a disguise,
It stems from a kind finish and a kind start.

Give up the lass
And I'll give up my mind.
I will give up in
a manner that is unkind.
I've heard your taunting calls;
I've seen your righteous ways
I've seen the way Autumn falls
And I have seen them all.
So give up the lass
And I'll give up myself,
I bid your final mercy and help
To let me give up myself.
I do this not out of love, but hatred;
I've been bruised, burnt and broke
But I've seen your presence long before,
And maybe, I need not see anymore.

Give up your relentless chase;
And I promise I'll give up mine.
Immortality is the farthest illusion
that rests in the depths of my mind.

I've died beyond these lines
A million times just to see you smile.
I'll trade infinite lives for every chance
at one minute drives with you.
The view without your side is empty,
it's plenty of space yet a small expanse.

The infinite skies but all I want is a smile
to see you happy.

The first line bleeds your pain
The second line bares your soul
The third line cuts at the heart
And the fourth line rips you apart.

Any subsequent line is rinse and repeat
Because life follows the same principles
It will crack you, crush you and destroy you,
And it will always continue to do so.

I wish you could kiss the bruises on my heart
make the marks vanish one by one so that each beat
continues to meet the next and each time my heart
pumps the art it has stored in there, it wouldn't be so tragic.
The static words, deceased on the page like snowflakes
misshapen by the treacherous winds, melted to a droplet
and softened the stones like teardrops softening a once sturdy heart.

I wish you could kiss the bruises on my heart
but so far you've been the depiction in every word,
every hurt and every tear I've ever written about.
You are without a doubt the muse behind my writings,
the angel igniting the flames that fuels my heart
and art would be meaningless had it not seen the influence of you.
You are every sloppy kisses, every awkward hugs,
enough to make me want to try all my mistakes again
like defend my heart only to have the fences defenceless.

I wish you could kiss the bruises on my heart...

My inner turmoil is almost limitless
yet your patience seems to be infinite.
Some days I feel like I'm drowning
but I don't own it in pride or proudly.
My face goes beyond wrinkled lines
as if a frown could be a simple sign.
I have a hundred different smiles
and while some point to the sky
only three or four are truly happy
because I'm a dog without an owner
facing thousand others who won't own up,
so even without an owner
I'm somehow still feeling like a lackey.
So can you please find it in you
to come back and remind me
that when I need you, you'll be there.
My soul is bruised by inner turmoil,
so please go grab a shovel from the shed
and when I need it, please help bury me
in the sands, in the dirt and soul;
to relinquish the inner turmoil.

Red rivers flow through
Black and blue corrupt our hearts
Slowly perishing.

Chasing you is like chasing doves in the sky,
Without a set of wings or an ability to fly.
Chasing you is like chasing ashes floating on the wind,
As though there is anything left to chase from the singe.
Chasing you is like a dog running in circles chasing its tail,
While having a leash on its neck and tied to a metal rail.
Chasing you is like following stars in a car for many miles,
Impossible to reach even if I form a bridge from infinite tiles.
Chasing you is like a summers day in winter.

We were star-crossed lovers
With stars completely faded
Upon the pellucid canvas
From hearts barricaded.

We were crossed lovers
Anger emanated from our soul
Clouded coils created catastrophe
preventing us to be complete wholes.

We were lovers
Pain and misplaced anger dissipated
by trust and words exchanged
Accomodating the memories created.

We loved.
Loved like a love created above the skies
Stronger than any weightlifting olympiad
We shared a loving bond unbreakable by lies.

We love,
The way a bee loves collecting honey
With love coursing through our veins
We love, like the sun loves being called sunny.

I've ascended a mountain
where the road is narrow;
awaiting an arrow's arrival
as the sun casts a shadow
on a dandelion.

I've set my mind on not
falling for insanity;
though her alluring touch
could cleanse calamities;
I stayed with the sun....

but today seems all the more bleak,
as week after week of argument ensues,
I knew that maybe I would have better off
learn to scoff at newfound things
but those who have loved me once before
do not love me now.

She repeats those words that taunt my soul
'bye star gazer'.
And I will not forgive her for leaving me
when I needed her the most.

I wanted to walk with you as though our shoes were tied in a knot
and out of all the walking I've done, I could not do so feeling alone.
I had to have you by my side, it was the mentality behind the heart
that stands guard, too afraid to say 'I love you' and too afraid
to just let our laces untangle as we brace for a different life.

My mother always tells me, "the right girl will find her way to you"
as to do that I had to pretend that I was brave enough to stop hiding
because I've spent time confiding in the illusions of my mind
where you and I are holding hands, making plans and chasing dreams
but it seems that every time we sew the threads the seams seem
to become undone.

Take it from a guy who's excelled in hide and seek
the bleakest place to hide is always the one kept hidden away,
the forbidden place where snakes unravel from trees
and an apple a day makes things complete, but it isn't warm.
To conform to every single sweat and tear of living alone
has its price. Take it from a guy who's connected right to left hands
made plans between three people all synonymous with 'me, myself and i',
I can tell you that being alone isn't a good feeling.

The heart isn't hidden away, it's not meant to be kept safe,
sometimes you just have to let it break to know what living really is
because the realest of all emotions is letting yourself be vulnerable,
letting yourself feel loved and to feel love.

The heart sits behind a ribcage, but it's not meant to be hidden away,
it is there to remind you to breathe because in one swift moment
when your ribcage exposes your heart, someone will steal your breath
and death is not the result but the start of feeling alive.

Why else do we say, 'some people leaves us breathless'?

Life isn't a race,
It isn't a marathon,
Neither is it a paragon.
We live as we breathe,
We die and we leave,
But when the night ends,
Morning is across the corner,
Right where the road bends,
Is where we find ourselves.

As we live,
We await to see another day.

Home is where the heart is,
Home is where love resides,
Whether it'll be rocket rides,
Where kids seek and hides,
Where one confides,
Home is where love resides.

I hold a smile
Cause maybe the memories
Might just fade awhile
And
I hold my shoulders high
Hoping that I'll soar
One last time to finally
Understand what it's really like
To be able to lift myself up
And not get scared of falling.

They say,'the strong falls
Three times but gets up
Four times' and I just hope
That I can pull the pieces
Of what remains of this corpse
Back together, so that it could
See the light of day to stand
One last time.


------
A house that used to be a home
A heart that roams alone
And what I've come to learn:
I'm rather forgetful, and
Though I carry memories
For eternity; I'm easily
Forgotten, just like a speck of dust
In a thunderstorm or like a
Drop of water in an ocean
Or
Like me.

Night fades away so slowly
Waiting for early light
Imprisoned behind cold sheets
As loneliness sets its sight.

I've waited for far too long
For things that could never be
I tried finding love while blind
And in turn became debris.

Saw night took friends away
Treasured memories became dust
As bonds become buried
Through tattered tales of trust.

Loneliness is an old companion
We share dinners together alone
And night after night as a result
Our bond and friendship grown.

Love is a complicated task now
I fall into the abyss of people's words
That 'unlovable loner' is my destiny
So I keep it to heart like a password.

I have loved two people in my life
That extends further than family
And although we aren't anything
I still wish them to be happy.

To find happiness on Earth
To see warmth in the cold of night
And to finally be able to vision
That in the dark, there's light