Now that I am twenty
I do not want to be twenty
I want to be ten
Needing a license for a pen.

I caught up with an old friend
We'd agree on a weekend
Just dinner and skating
hopefully no line waiting.

I realised we were both aging
We'd still used terms like paging,
We were reaching the end of the book
And grey hair became our common look.

He had a repetitive strain injury
and I felt like I was writing history
To think we've known each other for a decade
and that's the kind of friendship that never fades.

April's rain
Brings
May flowers
Yesterday's pain
Brings
Eye's showers
But
Water stains
Can
Be washed away
And
Sadness will fade
For
April's showers
Brings
May Flowers.

Stay happy
for
Today
will
Shine
for
You.

You
Are
Amazing,
And
Your
Sm­ile
Shines
Of
Beauty

Why the sad face?
Why the teary eyes?
Don't feel so out of place
Stop believing in lies!

Stop feeling so blue!
Just look at the sky
The sky is blue too
And even it cries.

It's not Evian,
Don't bottle it up,
This isn't oblivion
Keep your head up.

The sky is blue
And it's amazing
It's blue and beautiful
and it doesn't require praising.

Neither do you,
Just look at the goods
Double that too
And that's where you stood.

You are beautiful
Or you are handsome
Not any less true
And you might have a fandom.

YOU! yes you!
Smile
Because it's beautiful
When you do.

She's a very honest soul,
A brave soul without care.
She will tell you of her day
so listen to the words
she speaks.
She will hide things,
But she will tell you
When you feel like
Listening.
She won't ever force
You to say anything
Or ever force you
To do anything
For her.
She's beautiful,
Smart, creative
and definitely
caring.
She's able to bring up
any topic to talk about
so awkward silences
are non existent with her.
When you look into her eyes
If you haven't fallen in love
You definitely will.
There's a shine that
is indescribable.
The moon light can't compare
To the shine that glimmers
in her eyes.
If you can make her look
at you with that shine,
consider yourself a lucky man.
You will never find an angel
Who will be able to care
While at the same time
Make you laugh without a care.
Cherish her every second
Cherish her every moment
Because you have won the lottery,
Love her with all your heart
and make her happy.
If I could pick someone to be
With right this moment,
I would pick her.
So you should realise
Just how lucky you are.
You definitely do not
want to lose her.
Watch as the sun rises and sets
And you'll realise,
Her beauty is way beyond
Any of that.
Make her happy for me,
I just want you to make
her smile.
                 Love her
Like I never had
                 The chance
to.

In a car,
On a highway
And my only thought.
I could totally slam
This car into that
Metal pole.
For once,
I felt like I was
In control...

But I don't have long
Anyways.
Why shorten
my already short
time.

I tied a rope around a tree
I threw my shoes in the sea
I stood on top of the roof
Seeked out the truth

I took away the rope
I broadened my scope
Life doesn't have to be sad
Life is just there to be had

Bright summery sun shone
I was finally shown
There's a little warmth in light
And a little fire can burn bright.

I tell myself everyday
The words that I say
**"Don't give up, don't give in
One fine day you'll surely win"

It surprises me that
If I wrote an autobiography
The number of people
Who are just paragraph
Is extremely high.

How are you?
That's personal
how's your day?
That's personal too.
how's your weekends?
Don't know.

How's your grades?
Don't care.
What have you been up to?
Wouldn't know
What did you have for lunch?
Food.
What type of food?
No idea.
Where are you right now?
If only I knew.
What are you thinking of?
...
*Nothing

Hate the sadness
Acknowledge that the world has stupid people
Play whatever you want to play
Punish the thoughts of sadness
Invest into thoughts of true love
Never lose sight of the bright light
Eat whatever you want
Socialise
SMILE

I ran the slopes
Ran uphills
And downhills
Ran till I came
To a stand still.

The beautiful view
reminded me of you,
Across the buildings
of the cities
were gravestones.

You would call them
zombie revival spots
where things rot
and people
wished they didn't
have reserved
parking spots.

I know the bouquets after bouquets
of flowers won't bring you back
But I don't know why I still try
I don't know why I still cry
I don't know why I still sigh.

Every time I drive to you
Or I would run to you
I can remember the things
The things that we used to do
I can remember
When I first met you
When I first hugged you
I can remember
Making you laugh at "oh poo".

I don't know why I'm still
Like the way I am,
Floating back and forth
All over memories of you.
I guess it's because
you put the skies together
We made pie together (or at least tried to)...

I don't know if you can hear it from up there
Tiff's baby boy, little guys already walking...

I keep buying you flowers,
Will you ever come back,
You've taught me to be afraid
So afraid of trusting another person
That when everything goes right
someone somehow just disappears,
and you know what...
you haven't exactly been wrong.

I tell people what they want to hear
I tell them what I know keeps them
Ok.
But I haven't heard anyone say to me
That one day I will forget you...
And I wish I could...
But I know I definitely couldn't.

I still have every email
Every text message
Every single line smiley
Every photo
Every video
Everything ...
I still open them once in a while,
I read them with tears and smiles.
Strange huh?

No matter how many flowers I leave
There won't be a morning where I wake up
And your face is looking down on mine
(like the time you broke into my house... remember? )...
I would give anything,
To see you once more.
Not in photos
Not in videos
But in front of me.
I miss you

He lives as though the days were nights
and
the nights were days.
He lives as though the skies was always tumbling
and
the grounds was always rumbling.
He lives as though the oxygen he inhales
are the toxic memories of her perfume.

Beauty shone from her
She was beyond any words
The moon and the sun.

He will conceal his emotions in sugar coated words
He will know of your beauty before he even sees it
He worries for romance rather than bees and birds
And he will be insecure about acne and zits
So his confidence isn't exactly alluring.
Don't fall in love with a poet,
He will let his words rain like blood on a river
Diluting all that is left of clear purity.
Don't fall in love with a poet,
Because he will not know how to fall out of it,
He will bury himself in an abyss
That is heartbreak.
He will surround himself
with tales of heartbreaks and heroism,
tales of company and parties
when he is actually still lonely.

Don't fall in love with a poet
He will tell you of your beauty
And as much as he knows it
He will tell you of your perfection.

Three years ago you were at my place,
Today I barely remember your face.
To think that cherished and beloved treasures
Could come and go like one night pleasures.

I agonize over your memories,
I promised I would see you for centuries.
Now i barely come to visit,
I'm sure you also miss it.

The red roses are whittle and rot,
I might try decide whether I can or can not
The truth is I'm still afraid,
That I will cry and wish you would have stayed.

Now I reminisce on our moments,
As you are surrounded by rodents.
I wish I wouldn't have to do this alone
So I could be with you and not your gravestone.

When laughs and cheers were shared,
Sudden silence settles,
The pain and anger beared,
Fenced by rotten petals.

The hiss of loneliness remains,
All peers left without an explanation,
Binded to unbreakable chains,
A bleak past without illumination.

I was going to be a psychiatrist
And then my friend revealed
That I am one of the most
Mentally messed up person
He has met.

Coming from a school
With a suicide
And I'm the most
Messed up.

I always asked
'Is it that apparent?'
And I hate the answer
Every time.

Everywhere I went I was always the outsider
In third grade I said I liked a girl, I was a liar
In fourth grade I said I had a perfect family
In fifth grade I said I suffered from insanity
In sixth grade I was pudgy and different
In seventh grade I started losing interest
In eight grade my grades fell to oblivion
In ninth grade I sent roses to a recipient
In tenth grade she told me she loved me
In eleventh grade I was told I was ugly
In twelfth grade the tears didn't stop.

In first year of University
It suddenly occurs to me
That I can find a place to belong
For poetry could not make me wrong.
In second year of University
I tried drowning myself in the sea
It was a huge year of isolation,
That and hating God's creation.
At the end of the second year
I felt loved again,
Picked up a pen
And wrote of romance and love.
In the third year of University
I lost all hope at a love life
But I have already cried,
So I look forward to a happy
and eventful year.

Everywhere I went I was always the outsider
Never could be the average person
Found myself running along the lines of outlier
Rather than ever being picked at all.

We sat in the car singing our favourite song
We'd lost track of time and sang all day long.
Terrible yelling out of tune,
I can still remember every second of it,
The smile on your face,
The smile across mine.

"See, people they don't understand
No, girlfriends, they can't understand
Your grandsons, they won't understand
On top of this, I ain't ever gonna understand".

I guess life is like a game of golf,
you get a chance at The Strokes
and realise that some things end.

Little girl, little girl
Can you still remember your dream?
Little girl, little girl
Are you going to be the sun and gleam?

Teenage girl, teenage girl
Why are they always being mean to you?
Teenage girl, teenage girl
Can you tell me what I should do?

Teenage girl, teenage girl
Why did you leave me here alone?
Teenage girl, teenage girl
You left your comrade in war zone.

Teenage girl, teenage girl
What's it like up there in the skies?
Teenage girl, teenage girl
Why did we have to say our goodbyes?

Teenage girl, teenage girl
I wonder do you see me near you?
Teenage girl, teenage girl
I have a degree that is near due.

Teenage girl, teenage girl
I'm so sorry you can't ever age
Teenage girl, teenage girl
I'm so sorry there's no new page.

Adult girl, adult girl
I don't know if you exist
But I miss you.

He fell asleep on the train tracks.
Whether intentional or accidental.
He laid right between the cracks.
Society was always so judgemental.
He chose to sleep on the train tracks.
Carried memories that were sentimental.
He fell asleep on the train tracks.
A light appeared at the end of the tunnel.
He chased the light and left the cracks.
Now he sleeps at home in a bed.
Regretting that he ever slept on the train tracks

There must be some mistake.
This is not who I was yesterday.
That sullen eye boy vanished
One moment here, another away.
Finally fitted with happiness
enough to keep the demons at bay.

There must be some mistake.
This is not who I was yesterday.
He looks like me, sounds like me
But there's a difference today.
He's holding his cheeks side to side
A smile formed out of skin not clay.

There must be some mistake.
This is not who I was yesterday.
Then again that is very true
Because I am me, today.

I could hear her laughing
On the other side of the darkness
The echoes resonate in my ear
I float there like a carcass
Unable to produce an explanation
There's a certain sharpness
'Where's it coming from?'
I grab my ears like a harness
Pulling at it like a parachute.

I could hear her laughing
On the other side of the darkness
She takes the easy path in
Leaving me in an utter dark mess.
I could hear her laughing
The constant laughing like a kid
Wind escaping me, gasping,
She is a saucepan without a lid
Constant reverberations of laughter
Maybe she came to find her happiness
Her happily ever after.

I could hear her laughing
On the other side of the darkness
And I reciprocate with laughter
Nestling in between my parka .

Candlelight fluttering against the wind
Struggling to hold its warmth
As night collapses upon dim lights
The candle holds on for its life.

Candlelight suffering against time
Diseased by the elapsing of sand
Slowly candles become weak
Coated in a wax becoming weary.

Yet the light is still there,
So even in the darkest times,
Against the strongest air,
The light is and will still be there.

There will be a time
That your name
Will escape someones'
Lips for the last time.

All that is left
Are unspoken memories
Or decaying possessions
Of a fading light.

As time passes
Things change every day
But wounds, wounds heal, but scars still remain the same
But tomorrow today's going down in flames
Throw the match, set the past ablaze**
              
   -Eminem

Learning to be in a relationship is hard but learning to be fine with being alone is even harder.

-star gazer

Cried tears of sadness
Descended into madness
In a blue closet.

She's different than other girls
She doesn't care for looks
She will tell you to enjoy yourself
So if she wants a slice of cake
You better get it for her.
She's brave,
She's not a quitter
Even when the world tumbles
She'll still stand like a tower.
She sometimes doesn't talk
It is in these times of silence
That you really must just
Be silent with her.
Sit across from her or next to her
And tell her that if she wants to talk
You will be there for her.
She's beautiful and rarely knows it
She doesn't shy away from confrontation
So make sure not to anger her too much
A little playful anger isn't harmful.
If she loves you
Consider yourself the luckiest guy ever
Trust me
You'll know when you see her smiles
It's magical.
I don't mean be there for her smiles only
Be there for her tears too
For her sad moods
For her angry moods
But trust one thing I will tell you
It doesn't last forever.

She's smart, I must warn you
But the great thing about her
You don't have to be smart
You don't have to pretend to be mature
You don't have to quit doing things you love
If she talks about higgs boson and you're talking about rappers
She will show immense interest even when she has no idea what you're saying.
Trust me,
She's a gift to this world.
Cherish her,
Make as many memorable moments with her
Make memories that I never got a chance to make
Most importantly make her happy.
You are lucky to be with such an amazing person.
Make her happy for me.