Six years and I still shudder
I would close my eyes for a minute and see it
I remember the metallic taste of the silver ware
The agonizing muddying look of the concoction
As it swirled around in the poorly washed cup

I really doubt I would have minded much
You see, the water was too much
The cheap chocolate flavored powder too small
It made me think of Oliver Twist
Of the grave injustice on mortal men

I still have nightmares about the kettle
The way she would shake it with a vengeance
And turn it carelessly into the cups
The waiter serves me my coffee and I almost scream
I can see her trying to get all cups to be even

I suppose all of my nagging would be void
If we didn’t get to see the undiluted contents at the base
The way the black residue stared back at me; daring me
No matter how many times I tried to convince myself,
I believe that chocolate should not leave residues

I stare at the cup in front of me
It has gone cold whilst I reminisced.
It is all brown and smug
I wonder if this is how cold coffee looks
I call the waiter concerning the bill

My brain is messing with me.
I swear the chocolate drink winked at me.

1,
Are we to speak, first day of the week
or are we to await the third day of next week?
these little monsters that weigh heavily on my mind.
monsters that grow larger at night.

2,
Stumbling words at the bar,
empty glasses,
the unappealing smell of ethanol.
these monsters threaten to shatter my reality.

3,
Beauty blue eyes, my order of fries
splurging tomato sauce,
layers of sour cheese atop my order.
I drown in my own honesty.
...

His was like that of a sponge
As he swirled his warm, moist tongue inside of me.
Erasing the past,
And soaking up the present.
Making me whole again and ready for the new future.
It was like the great flood of the Biblical times;
Built up emotions like a valley charged with dynamites,
I exploded and the flood gates opened;
And he smiled at me,
"Your ******* are soaked, will you like to go another round."
I tried not to smile but with him,
It wasn't far-fetched.
He made my ebony-toned cheeks blush.
He slid back before I could muster up the courage to nod my head to say Yes because I didn't trust my tongue to loosen and veer towards speech anytime soon.
How he made my heart throb!

This is Tina, she's my kid sister.
Over there is Joseph and Paul, they are twin siblings, our next door neighbors.
Next to them is Christy, blush she lives two streets down the street.
We are playing WHOT in my house.
Yes, Whot.
It's a card game that most parents won't let their kids play;
My dad included
But he is at work at the moment.
Dad is very strict.
Whenever he is home,
My friends aren't allowed to come over unless we are going to study, and under his supervision.
Suddenly we hear his car honking at the gate,
There's panic and turmoil in the living room.
Whot cards are flying around and empty Oreos packs are being thrown into the trash bag.
Empty juice cups are being taken to be washed in the kitchen.
There's an avalanche in here and the result is orderliness.
By the time dad steps in,
We're all settled around the study table,"reading."
Oh God, no!
There's the 20 Whot card on the table.
Dad has seen it and he is coming over.
He has a scowl on his face and I know that look; we're all getting a good beating.
The last time we were flogged, Tina wet herself.
Dad comes over, he looks at each one of us,
Then in his deep, baritone voice, he asks:
"Have you eaten?"
My shoulders sag,
I am defeated.
Today cant be April fool's day.

Suppose I had stayed in this town or lived in another city,
Imagine I had travelled further or not so far from here,
suppose I had stayed in Benin or gone to Greece,
or that i was the same version of myself in Hong Kong.

Suppose that I was buff and my brother was skinny,
And he was the bookworm, and I the wild one.
Would we have ended up being close knitted or would we still be unmeeting parallels?


would we be the same or different?
Would we have switched our  identities,
Would we have become the other's mirrored image?
Would we,
Raymond and I?

Put it like that, and I know
that we would not and could not.
Through all sorts of similarity, we cannot
reach each other’s goals.

The light in our lives comes from the same star,
and we’re left with friendship,
Even as the shadows of brotherhood and kinsmanship lengthen each moment
and the old one, of rivalry, fades into the night,
We're our own identity.
Unique in our small ways
but similar in our general choosing.