Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
n Oct 2024
i am not thankful for my trauma.

my trauma did not make me a stronger,
better person.
my trauma put me into a constant state of fear.
my trauma made it impossible for me to feel secure.
my trauma told me i was unlovable and made me think maybe i was a bad person.
my trauma doesn’t let me rest.
my trauma will never stop following me.

my trauma did not make me stronger.
it made me weak and terrified of vulnerability.

so stop telling me how strong i am for overcoming things i never should’ve had to.
i don’t want to be strong,
i want to be able to feel my emotions,
i want to be able to be vulnerable, without fear.

i want to be unapologetically me again.
i miss what’s dead in me
n Oct 2024
Words are my best friend;

They do not ask me to mold myself into a perfect little doll.
They accept me for the person I was, I am, and I will be.
They do not disappear when I need them most;
in fact they support me like no one else could.

Words were all I had when I was left all alone.

Words will always be my best friend.
n Oct 2024
It’s so hard to grieve the loss of someone who’s still here.
Holding my breath just to hide the fear.
Where did I go wrong believing in ghosts?
n Oct 2024
I never told you I loved you
because I don’t.
At least, not in the way you think  

I never gave you my best
because you never really gave me yours.
At least, not when it mattered

I could give you a thousand tries
and you still wouldn’t see.
Your issue will always be you,
it was never with me.
n Oct 2024
☕︎‎

I want to be the light leaking through your kitchen window.

The fresh juice.
Warm muffins.
Birds singing.
Coffee brewing.

                                                    But,
                                                I am not.


I’m the leaky faucet you still haven’t got around to fixing.

The orange peels.
Burnt toast.
Cracked eggs.
Broken mug.

                                        Breakfast ruined.

𓇋
n Oct 2024
I want to vanish like a bobby pin,
dissipate into the smoke that fills your lungs,
hide between the words of every lie you’ve ever told,
in the crevices of this fractured foundation.
I just want to disappear for a little while.
n Oct 2024
Will you still love me when I'm laying in bed fantasizing my demise
While you're trying so hard to make me believe its worth it
When you realize I can't hear you no matter how loud you scream?

Will you still love me when the tears fall faster than the thoughts inside
When these soft hands are too fragile to hold
While I watch it seek and destroy?

Will you still love me when I grow up and things are still the same
When all the beauty you pour into me only gets greeted with misery
While I'm stuck inside this rotten head of mine?

Will you still love me when the flower begins to wither and the roots begin to show?

Will you still love me?
Next page