Dear muse
Too often you
Have ruled my mind
A sacred expanse
Overtaken by you
And that used to
Make me feel good

If anybody was
Going to
Invade my universe
Rule the kingdom
Control my soul
Im glad it was you

I wish it still was
You
Who made me feel
Like I was someone

Without you it
Barely feels like existing at all
Im here but
Life
Thats moving around me

Dear muse
I miss you and
Ill be here
If you're ever ready

Dear muse
Its really not fair
How everyone else
Will be compared to
Who I thought you were

The person I loved
Wasn't really you
Wow that makes me feel crazy

Every day
Still passes
Without you here
But I swear
My heart stands
Still stuck on you

Forever waiting
For an us
That will never be
Because I still love you
Despite the uncertainty
Please answer:
Was I ever somebody to you
?

Dear heartbreak
I shouldve known
Shouldve seen you
Sitting on the doorstep
Waiting to
Welcome me home

I shouldnt have brushed you off
Pushed you to the side
You were still waiting
Knowing Id find my way back
Back to you

Baby,
You did a number on me
Took hold of and
Controlled me

I gave up
So much of
Myself to you
Stopped eating
Hardly living
Barely breathing

Im finally
Taking myself back
Please
Understand that

Dear muse
This goes out to you
Whether the world knew it
You're a real person
Instead of this fiction
But the truth:
If you were fiction
You couldn't have hurt me

We spent 6 long years together
Forming our bond, growing close

You were not just someone to me
Not anyone could
Make me feel like this
You are EVERYTHING to me

You are the only
one in seven billion
To make me feel real

Without you my
Body exists with a mind adrift
The sad thing is
If you come back to me
I'll welcome you
Straight to my arms
Since you
Never left my heart

Dear mom,
Please stop blaming me
Using society as a shield for the
Disgust YOU feel towards ME

You expect too much
Refuse to say
What you want and
I know I know
It's all my fault
Isn't it always?

Stop being selfish
My anger isn't some
Guarantee you ****** up
It wasn't you
Someone hurt me
To protect you I fell silent
**** that angered you

Stop expecting me
To behave on behalf of society
One that
Threw me away
As a child
Shunned my differences
When I couldn't explain them

You never accept that
You have anything to do with
What happens to me

Dear mom,
Want the truth?
Here it is:
I spent a week
Starving myself to
Feel better and free
While you continued to
Badger me

I'm not even sorry
That I can't blame myself
For once I NEED
Selfishness-
At least enough
To tolerate myself

Dear special nobody
On this Valentine's Day
I'm wishing for you

You're not here
But my heart
Still purrs for you

All I want
Is you, is us
An imperfect two

I'll love you
Every second of
Every day

I'll hold on hope
That you'll feel the same
Maybe love me too

Hopefully soon
You'll be my
Special somebody

Until then
I'll write for you
As long as I have to

Venomous lies
Drip through my ears
Reverberate in my skull
Reminding me of who
YOU
Really are

Scars litter my mind
While yours is clear
No shame, no doubt no fear
What we had was a joke
Stringing me along
Until you were done

Your heart is stone
Toying with everyone’s emotions
Acting on instinct
Never looking back

I gave you so
Much of me
Did you even care?
Was any word or emotion real
Or was it a facade
To build US up
So you could
Break ME down?

I can’t remember now
Why I trusted you for so long
Unanswered questions will
Forever linger

I am
Stronger
Now than I was before
I won’t be broken by the
Memories you left anymore