Yesterday I got back
Something that made my lose
My sanity years ago

When I saw it no I didn't snivel
Nor I didn't shed a tear
It reach out and pulled me near

It was dear to me so I let
Pull me closer with no fear
Excitement started building

Their was no wrecking this
Coming out everything balled up
Anger, love, hate, these consistent

Emotions what driven me to This fate
I stand their as the walls close on me
Not knowing whether I should pull back

Or just let this be
The lasp in my thinking
Allowed them to close on me

And all what was said
Hey grandson I'm
Glad you came to see me lol

I love you grandma

They say real eyes recognize real lies
my mom couldnt see that I was a blessing in disguise  
Instead you make me hide
Behind my fear
Of being so inadequate.
Talking about how your going
To **** yourself
And about my dad an ****
You find my weakness,
Bring it forward,
Displayed for me to see
Made me feel like no one
In this world had no love for me
I could have had love
And had friendships that were true,
But cast doubt on those
life or death what I juxtapose
just like with any war winning
Is only half the fight
Sometimes I hate you other
times your in my dreams at night
But No more I'll give into you
Creature with 4 doors
Each one with a it's own different
levels of horocore
I ask just let me be
Im done with  your petty lies
Only falsehoods that you showed me g
It's time to close the door on those memories that where wack
I've fallen an a cant turn back

It's been awhile since I've
took the time to write
Even though I've been
try hard with all my might

Yet, I don't know
where to start
Shall I talk about what's
On my brain or the pains in my heart

Even thought life for me
was hard still im ******* stressed
People telling me to be happy
And that I'm blessed

But that doesn't stop the demons
Inside of my that's beating on my chest
If I were to give you the key
and let you inside

The image that I presented
to you surely Will die
I'm a constant wreck
And please done ask me why

Times I want to take a ice pick
An shove within my eyes
To blind my from all the *******
I'm seeing with my eyes

From the hat pouring out my
Mother when she cries
Or the fact that I'm built
From nothing but lies

Can't tell the truth to no one
but myself
Buried from guilt and hatred
Thats deep Within myself

Now I'll i see is It's your fault
it's your fault inside that mirror
Feeling like I dead to her
She won't let me be near her

I'm alone now....

In a room full of people
I'm by myself
In a relationship with someone
I'm the only one who has felt

It's all be cause you you
That I feel this way
On April 6th I will always dread thil I
be came dead to you
And it will probably stay that way

I'm I am completely fed up with people and their attitudes and actions
I can't tolerate no more of it
push me so much expecting no reaction
feeling the need to put give their opinions when not needed the past 22yrs I been Livin
they take kindness as a weakness
I told myself I wouldn't stoop to
Their level I'm beneath this
expect others to treat them good and ****
only to treat you how the last person in their life treated them like a *****
finally they feel like they have someone to do it to
expecting you to be sweet and sincere too
I'm completely fed up with they malarkey selfish actions
push me so much expecting no reaction
toying with you for instant gratification because their life is **** its self
No understanding that I am a ******* human just like you but with more love to show
More than living organism on this barren cold waste land we call home
I rather walk in this forsaken planet alone
I'm done with being this nice guy
no one can understand or accept
Fully in depth
push me so much expecting no reaction
understand or accept this no more mr nice guy.