i left the remnants
of my disappointment
in the collar
of my favorite
shirt

there for the universe
to find

the tie
became a noose
choking out any last hope
i had
for redemption

and i shredded
the jeans which
illuminated
my hips and thighs

my stomach
will not play nice
for as i taunt it
it screams vindictively

i hid the anguish
under my fingernails
until they had to be clipped
and then there was
nowhere

and so i curled
into a ball
in the coldest of oceans
waiting for the heat
of a volcano
to swallow
me up

but the volcano
won't come

i've been waiting
for a long time

and the warmth
just isn't there

my chest aches
still

you would think the cold
would have numbed it
by now