I found my Voice hiding in a box
Thrown in an dusty attic corner.
I coaxed it out and brushed it off,
Gave it some warmed milk for comfort.

I found my Voice but had to trick it to speak,
For it refused to utter a word and kept silent.
I found my Voice, but I had to wonder,
What's the point when it hadn't wanted me?

I gave up on my Voice; tucked it away in my pocket.
I forgot it existed until you ran into me.
"Oh!" my Voice cried, cracking and straining.
And we both were stunned into silence at the noise.

My Voice became familiar
As you coaxed it back out.
And the gleeful mirth we shared
Became my normalcy.

And I forgot to wonder how my Voice sounded
Because you made it possible to hear every day.
I grew to love my Voice and what it would say,
But I forgot my Voice was bold because of you.

I haven't heard my Voice in awhile now.
The day you left, so did my Voice.
I've gone back to wondering if I'll hear again
The strong sure ring of my Voice.

I'm determined to learn the secret
Of finding my Voice and keeping it.
Because I don't want to ever rely
On another person to make it so.

So I'm practicing now
But I've a long way to go.
That doesn't matter though
Because I already know
What I'll say first
When I find my Voice again:

I'm so much better off without you.

I love life too much
      To ever actually
                **** myself
Although, sometimes I wish
          I was dead
So, for now,
       I guess I'll just dream
   Seeing stars floating around
And softly put this pillow
            *To my head

Unraveling
Unwinding
The glue falls from the binding
The crimson threads
flow from my head
My wrists, my hands, there is no denying
The inevitable,
The insane
This very inhumane game
Why, I make no sense anymore
Why, I feel no life anymore
Why, I see no light anymore
Why, the voices
Why, the voices,
Why, the voices in my head
They scream
FOREVERMORE
Twisting and writhing,
The tearing of the binding
The pages flutter to the ground
The moths they flutter all around
I think I have gone quite insane
I think that I can touch my brain
Well, why are they running away?
"Hello and goodbye!" is all I want to say!
Gunmetal glinting in the moonlight                                                        ­                                                          
A bang and a flash to light up the night
Oh, my eyes, why can't I see?
Oh, my ears, I cannot seem
To hear the sounds of tormented laughter
The background music that fills my brain
I cannot see the eerie shadows
that shiver and linger and stretch their fingers
To touch me, to grab me, to ****** me away
No! Don't let them take me away!
No! I cannot go today!
No! There is too much for me still to say!
And as I sit and as I wonder
What it would be like wander
Up and down the streets of town
With my thoughts pouring from my mouth
And my ears taped to my knees?
See, I am not making any sense!
I am bibbling, babbling, good and gone and gabbling
I wish to see,
I wish for sight
I wish to not be sick tonight
I wish to be free from the shivering shadows
and whispering screams
I wish to stretch my lips in a smile
that is not insane
It is not insane                                                           ­                                                                 ­                        
I wish to leave this padded cell
I wish to find a place that's home
White picket fence
A cat and a dog
No gunmetal glinting
No flash and bang
No unraveling threads
being pulled from my brain
I wish I may
Yes, I wish for light
I wish to have some sanity tonight
Tonight.

He sat behind me
At dinner
Unobtrusively
So quietly I didn't
Couldn't
Notice
He was there

Until
The music started
A melody
I hadn't heard
In months,
Days,
Years
My favorite
So I turned away from
The conversation
And listened
Intently
To the Broadway magic
That brought me
Back
To times gone by

I missed
This
The music of my childhood
It is a type of magic
Like any song
I suppose, but
Special
At least to me

That violinist
Behind me at dinner
Continued to play my
Memories
For me
And returned me to
Happiness