this'll be the last one, i hope

i told you the two things that i need
but you can't do that
and it's okay, i'll deal with it

what i really want though
is not about that
but for us to be honest about it

i really don't mind
if you can't tell me
i only want us to end it amicably

where we go to from here
what i want for me
is for us both to fess up, leave it behind, and be free

because i will always love you
but i can never be with you
i'll probably think about you
and i hope you'll be safe

Thought I told you we were done and I don't need you.
But here you are in my bedroom.
I tried to push you out but yet you always seem to find a new way in.
You won't give up cuz you know you have control over me.
I have no shame though honestly.
I'll let you take control of anything, I say and anything that I happen to do.

Cuz in the end you seem to disappear.
Is it the fear of loving me?
Do you like to fall in lust when there's no love to be found?
Im curious to see where things are going.
I really wish that you could stick around.
Cuz i know, that when you are ready again. you wont hesitate to let me know.

When the day is done, and you're on your own.
You want to see me again and your heart screams yes, but your body says no.


You just can't resist the urge now.
You had a taste and now your craving for it all the time.
And I can see it on your face now.
Trying to avert your gaze away.
You say that you can't love me, you say you'll never want me.
But your eyes play my favorite kind of song.
All you really want is loving, all you say you want is nothing.
So please don't treat your fantasies so wrong.

Cuz in the end you seem to disappear.
Is it the fear of loving me?
Do you like to just fall in lust when there's no love to be found?
Im curious to see where things are going.
I really wish that you could stick around.
Cuz i know when you're ready again.
you wont hesitate to let me know.

When the day is done, and you're on your own.
You want to see me again, and your heart says yes, but your body says no.
When the day is done, and your in the night.
You cry yourself to sleep allowing your precious soul to take its first flight.

You said you hate me, but you want me.
Now you love me, but you hate me.
Its okay I understand.
What you are going through.
You said you hate me, but you want me.
Now you love me, but you hate me.
You have been hurt so much.
I have never hurt you.

When the day is done, and you're on your own.
You want to see me again, and your heart says yes, but your body says no.
When the day is done, and your in the night.
You cry yourself to sleep allowing your precious soul to take its first flight.

lost inside a time when you believed
when you were focused on your rhetorical belief
i have to admit, i felt a bit relieved
when you took that pill and made it spell relief

stuck inside a crime i didn't do
when you say you'll make it work and then you don't
i have to admit, i understand the shame
but i also feel a little bit ashamed

we are lost
in time
lost beneath the colours
lost within the others
we are lost
astray
it would be easier to say
that this had never come our way

and in the fading of the moonlight
the willingness to do right
i've never been so eager to explore
i wanted to do more
than i'd ever done before
but it's alright
it's alright
there's more

like a withered leaf
on an old and dying tree
you left me no choice

it can hurt you if you let it
and recoil if you forget it
will enrage you and engage you
if it ever lets you in it

it can find the missing piece
and offer some release
will implore you and adore you
if it ever gives you peace

but it likes to take its time
and so it should

the fear rises up in me
like the flame from the candle i stare at
that flutters like a butterfly
and gets me so anxious that i
in my cautiously delusional state
prefer to reject this needless hate
it's a thick dark dungeon of doubt
that's left me wanting without
my needing to utter another word
yet it's something i heard
on the radio just yesterday
as if history could have said it any other way

it rises up still
and my only resolve
whatever the cost
is to let it evolve
into compost
into which i can sow
and out of which i can grow

when someone gets shut
in a relationship rut
it's so easy to say he's at fault

no matter if logical
trumps economical
someone has taken the salt

so yes i'm dishonest
it's selfish at best
in denial of what i've abused

but no, it's not ignorant
perhaps a bit arrogant
the only defence that i used

i did my best
you chose not to care
instead i get threatened
get given the stare
while i'm getting battoned
and you're over there
with the rest