You sent me a link to a song one time
that was over a year ago
maybe two
and I really wanted to hear it again
not to think of you
but I like the ****
song
And I had to scroll through
pages
of our text messages
back and forth
& to be honest
it didn't bother me so much this time
except a few short excerpts
that reminded me
why I fell for you
between the cracks
and anyway
I found the song
and I was very glad I did
and I guess along the whole exercise
I found some other things
along the way.

Unleash your cynicism
I'm not listening without regard
You've sipped on my predicament
enough
it's time to leave the bar
I'll walk you down the road
& watch your shadow shift
with passing cars
& laugh at really nothing in particular
but who we are

sometimes you can't only
rent space in your mind
to the ones you want to be there
this landlord
cannot control every tenant's
presence
but I think if you once leased
a suite
maybe even penthouse
I've got you in a
cramped studio
jacking up the rent
some people even own property
but you're on the way out
until maybe the last trace
of you
is a mis-labeled buzzer
or a letter
that never received
your change of address

solaces inverted
comfort marches cue
simple things, we say
crazy things we do
creased seasons
plead reason
silence deepens – overdue
I tie my soul into my boots and know with time they’ll lead to you

It’s not that easy

to just lose you

in the tides of cognizance

you’re nestled

deeper than that

like one tug at the surface

sends a jolt to the roots

& I don’t know how

to unearth that


maybe time without attention

negligence

will coax your impact

to dissipate

& let the caring soil



start over

I spent Easter in Budapest
when I was 16
I was in love with a melancholy
sorrow
A feeling I was building as a home
In a foreign land
It was Easter and I missed
someone I didn't know I'd be
and
I almost didn't let him
turn 17

I’ve learned a lot about myself
From the relationships I’ve had
Even the ones
That have lasted just a night
Short-term investors
Their comments remain
Like glimpses of a photograph
I can’t see through my own lens