Forever is a long time
Without you by my side
Best friends turned enemies
Hatred where there was once love
Its a sad thing, when a relationship dies

But sometimes things just don't work out
And you can find better friends than me
But I hope somewhere, deep down
You understand what you lost
When you walked away from here

I remember sitting in some basement at 10:58 on a random summer night
I remember how the movie we watched wasn't very scary
I remember we both pretended it was so we had an excuse to cuddle together
I remember long nights dreaming about you and I together
I remember how seconds felt like hours staring into your eyes
I remember standing together at one in the morning
I remember how the car broke down, and we were both oh so chilly
I remember the feel of your breath on my neck as we stood together
I remember explaining the next day how we were just friends
I remember a time before all I could think was I love you
I remember being scared you wouldn't feel the same way
I remember waking up next to you
I remember wishing we were old enough to wake up together every day
I remember long looks, quick smiles, bad jokes, sweaty hands
I remember shared drinks, borrowed clothes, tight hugs, your laugh
I forget when it was exactly that I fell in love with you
But I know that ever since, nothing was the same

Everything is so fragile
Stare at the water, look yourself in the eyes
One pebble can upset the whole surface
It takes ages for things to become right
Regret is black coffee in the morning
And two packs of cigarettes each day
Not caring for tomorrow
Nothing is promised anyways

I got 99 problems and all of them's being happy
Cracks in the foundation
I don't know who I am supposed to be
4 years of life wasted
Tattered skins and ashen lungs
Barely survived, on the other side
Unsure of what can be done
To move forward now, changed as I am
Once so damaged, now a healed man
Recovery isn't a straight line
Relapse will occur
But for the first time in my life
I don't want to leave this world

Dead beat loner trapped in a world
Soon to be stoner not moving forward
Friends off to college, mistakes of the past
Keep him stuck at home, life changed so fast
From bright with a future to dumb soon to die
Chain smoking cigarettes, maybe tonight is the night
Sick in the head, broken down mind
Illness killed potential, future died those nights
Flirting with death while my love was asleep
Nobody to help me, nobody to set me free
One man army always doomed to fail
One man army, now a corpse so pale

January 5th, 2001
4 years old I am sledding
A day filled with fun
My parents they smile
My baby sister she laughs
All together so happy
But it just couldn't last

A phone call, so brief
Told of death in my home
My best friend, my uncle
Had died last night, all alone
Overdosed they say, ****** hits hard
His mother crying and crying, begging to God
To bring him back please, save him just once
But God plays no favorites, and what's done is done

Poison in my veins, I can feel it when I breathe
The blood of an addict lives on inside of me
Pills and cigarettes, comfort in pain
Unable to escape that nagging in the back of my brain
Because the man I knew so long ago seemed happy
Or so my younger self was told
And though I swear I know better I can't help but dream
Of giving his life a go

A very famous man once said
My reality is brighter than your dreams are
On top of the world, so joyously triumphant
I never in a million years would have dreamed
That I could somehow relate

But with every moment I spent
Holding you tight to my chest
Every kiss of your lips
Your fingers tracing down my neck
I began to understand
What it was like to know Love
The sweetest of happiness
God's Gift from above

In life I've never been an optimist
Conditioned to expect the worst
But with you around it is easy
To see that life isn't meant to hurt
Times do change, things do gets better
We can grow and we can learn
With you by my side darling
I'm on top of the world