I don't know anymore

T
O
X
I
C

suffocating us in their opinions

burns holes in your heart
the kind you can not fill
until it becomes you

you won’t remember what it feels like
to have a complete heart
no aches that throb like a heartbeat

as if without pain
you can not breathe
holding on is much much easier

I wish he was not someone I was trying my best to forget.
To think about us is one complex path which I am lost in.
I can’t go back finding the way I walked so eagerly on and I don’t see a simple direction to get out of this matter of ache.

You held my hand and we both walked in the darkness of uncertainty. You stepped back and forgot you were not alone in this. Left me solving the mystery you created for the both of us to solve.

In the matter of seconds, I was there holding my heart on sleeves for you to see what I have to offer. The life came out of me and not even a single echo you could hear. My screams were so silent I could create the music you like.

Every pain I took wishing you will find the light guiding you back to where you want to belong. Faith is a thin thread but it is all I have. By now you must be out of the tunnel and still yet I am dancing on the thin thread of faith.

.

How am I supposed to be fine
Just like that

How am I supposed to forget you
Just like that

How am I supposed to enjoy the lil’ things
Just like that

How am I supposed to live
Just like that

.

I mistreat my soul by punishing myself for the sins you commit, allowing you to shame me while showering in misery.

The power in me which you have replaced with fear of losing you when in the first place you are not even mine.

You blinded this cruelty with the smell of roses, with the warm lies and with your deceiving eyes.

I name this love but it feels like the end of my very soul.