I am convinced
That if all mankind
Could only gather together
In one circle
Arms on each other's shoulders
And dance, laugh and cry
     together
   Then much
     of the tension and burden
       of life
     Would fall away
In the knowledge that
We are all children
Needing and wanting
Each other's
Comfort and
Understanding
We are all children
Searching for love

A silence with you
Is not
a silence

But a moment rich
with peace

If love can be withdrawn
It never was

My love for you is not a gift
    To you
      It is a gift
        To me

in my coat pockets you will find:
a bunch of crumpled up receipts scribbled
with love letters i thought of reciting to you;
a pack of cigarettes that i feel is more
for the artistic sense than the addictive;
a mini-lighter on which i wrote the name
of my favorite rapper; and
a beanie she bought me only a year ago.
i’ve taken you on seventeen dates already in my mind
and i think i can imagine the sound
of your voice when you say
“i love you” and the shape the creases on the
edges of your lips make when you smile
back because i said “i love you too.”
but this is only my imagination and sometimes
that ****** thing just runs wild.

You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her;
The sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery,
The delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five,
The selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another,
The scent of new books in the store,
The surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely.

You must remember when she forgets.
You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you;
Your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality,
Your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly,
Your mindless humming when it is too quiet,
Your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper,
Your muted laughter when you are trying to be polite,
And more and more of what you are, which you don’t even know about yourself, because she pays attention.

She remembers when you forget.
You lose her for every second you make her feel less and less of the beauty that she is.
When you make her feel that she is replaceable.
She wants to feel cherished.
When you make her feel that you are fleeting.
She wants you to stay.
When you make her feel inadequate.
She wants to know that she is enough and she does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because she is she and she is beautiful, kind and good.

You must learn her.
You must know the reason why she is silent.
You must trace her weakest spots.
You must write to her.
You must remind her that you are there.
You must know how long it takes for her to give up.
You must be there to hold her when she is about to.
You must love her because many have tried and failed.
And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.

And, this is how you keep her.

Green face paint.
Little conversations.
Budding love
with no complications.
A warm blanket
laid over me.
My cheeks are flushed
I feel oddly giddy.

Look-
then look away.

For we cannot see
when I look at you,
when you look at me.
That was the beginning,
let us know no end
because life is a story
and you are holding the pen.

Sometimes I talk about you like you're away on a trip and you're coming back.
Throwing you into casual conversations as if the people I was conversing with felt everything you make me feel.
Pretending they understand the depths of my heart
and how deep you've fallen into it.

But not even I understand the intensity that is you.

Like gravity you pull me back and hold me down.
Trapping me in an illusion of a story never told and never to be told
but forever read in my head.
A never ending dialogue between love and loss, let go and hold on.

A love story.

A tragically beautiful love story.