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Irate Watcher Jun 2017
I reminisce and wish to get back to her.
She was free time, carefree, kind of gypsy-like.
Just one, two, three, four years ago...

I left her to search for purpose,
to build an edifice to lay
my wispy hair upon,
outside the window of a cathedral,
outside the window of a
tumbling Bolivian bus,
outside the window of a
Medellin teleferico,
outside the windows of
the crumbling concrete houses
below,
outside the window of
a drunken car; blurred cobblestone streets,
cooking asado with
my friend Jeriff,
cooking plataños alone
in a cast-iron skillet.
starting a small fire,
cooking tortillas,
spreading dulce de leche.

hearing sea turtles breathe.

pushing a motorcycle up a hill,
in the rain, for some lazy Colombian.
losing sleep under stars,
drowning in a waterfall,
drowning in the Peruvian swells,
running from a belligerent coke dealer,
escaping the shaman with drunken red eyes,
emerging from silver mines unscathed,
traversing 100km in four days,
escaping an Austrian love triangle,
leaving a loyal stray behind.

I don't have wispy hair anymore.
I left, led a boring life,
built an edifice, and watched it crumble before me.
Where is the girl I left behind?
Irate Watcher Jun 2017
I take my time.
When I was five,
I got my first bicycle for Christmas.
It had training wheels.
I stopped every few feet and looked around.
I don't know why I did that.
I think I was trying  to make sure I was doing it right,
before moving forward.
When I was ten, my coaches told me to
have more confidence after they told me to **** in.
When I was 19, I cried in front of my philosophy advisor and told him I had no idea what I wanted to do the rest of my life.
He listened and then told me I was brilliant.
He was the most brilliant man I knew.
I try to convince myself I still have time to figure all this out,
But my bank account says otherwise.
All I want to do is learn.
All they want me to do is do.
All I want to do is pedal a bit and look around.
All they want is me flooring it to be on time.
I hate this culture.
I should have been born somewhere else.
Why doesn't anyone want to take their time?
Why does everyone want to skim over life,
and jump to conclusions about it.
Why must we learn for some end.
Why don't we have more time to sit and read books together.
Why does it take me so long to read a book now.
Why do I sometimes forget what the moon looks like.
Can I jump into that home video and be that girl with helmet again?
Can I jump back into my father's energy,
when he told me to keep going?
We all know the 90s were better, but what if now is much worse.
I don't know anymore..
I don't...
know.
  Jun 2017 Irate Watcher
JL Smith
And when she tells you,
Tells you she's wild
You laugh and then contemplate
How she's compiled

Reserved in appearance
Occasional demeanor, too
As you seek a sign
To reveal a divergent view

But most won't notice
What's sacred to discover
She's disciplined beyond measure
Yet, an untamed lover

© JL Smith
Irate Watcher Jun 2017
I want to be above it all.

Will I ever be above it all?
Isn't that why men made heaven after all?

Hell underground, earth uphill by free-fall,
I want to be above it all.

Sit in a comfortable chair,
turn on my satellite TV,
and enjoy the show.
Above it all.

I'll be the only person watching me,
watching Sims watch tv,
go to work and drown in pools.
Above it all.

8 stories high aiming for a blue spec.
CANNONBALL!

Above it all.
Top and bottom.
The perfect mix of blue and yellow.
A circle of fifths.

But who says what's symmetrical, in-tune or
perfectly mixed.
Who says whose above it all?

Down here, the mimes do.

The mimes say all.
In fact, their vocabulary rivals
Oxford's own dictionary and
is equally fruitless to memorize.
They're all good people,
even if they point to the orchestra
everytime you seek a violin.
or provide canned fruit
for a sweet tooth.

I want to be
Above
    it

            all.

masked among mimes,
a top less vigilante,
sitting back
with my elbows crossed,
waiting.
Irate Watcher May 2017
It makes me crazy,
Those knawing pops of color.

Welcome distractions!
Abstracts.
Plentiful letters stuck
To loved ones.
Characters
With layers.
Annoyances
to empty minds.
Friends,
Faithful and familiar.
Electric acquaintances
Jolting perspectives.
Careful and considered.
Almost silent.
All purpose.
Niche.
Violent.
Hypocritical.
Invaluable.
Unnecessary.

­Soft.

Solipsary.
Irate Watcher May 2017
Black wings cross
sapphire wind.
All black.
Black palm.
Black sea.
Black shore.

Yellow bulb light wall
Soft gray hue.
All gray.
Gray floor.
Gray legs.
Gray seat.

Red glass drip clear sweet
Ink **** hue.
All red.
Red hands.
Red cheeks.
Red eyes too.
Irate Watcher May 2017
Am I:

enlightened or crazy?
eccentric or weird?
self-aware or selfish?
insightful or long-winded?
introverted or isolated?
passionate or obsessed?
conservative or *****?
minimal or drab?
organized or ****?
alive or hyper?
wise or clever?
careful or worrisome?
powerful or power hungry?
meek or subservient?
good or bad?
here or there?
right or wrong?

Guess it depends who you ask.
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