I want to wear a hole
To cover all over my soul
It can be a black hole
And can be stolen from the celestial store
I want to waer a hole
To put dressings on my scars
I want to wear a huge hole
To dispose me whole
And this holy hole maybe
plays your own role

Don't make me go back inside
Please don't make me go
I think I might throw up
They all say "just grow up"
Don't make me go inside, I beg
Don't make go inside

Are you in love with your depression?

Because I sure am with mine. My life
Is a sunny day and ice water right now.
Yet I still see clouds touching the mountains.

I wonder what brought me to jump at every crack
On the sidewalk.

So I trace my steps back and reopen every healed scar along the way,
And laugh at the lies I told myself about life being okay.

I wonder how I got here, laying next to a 6'4" beautiful giant who is in love with me,

And I wonder if I love him for him or if I love him for loving me.

I can't ruin it this time.

To dance alone in the dark
Drinking aged tears
Pretending mortality
Living on dreams
The wish of Cass's courage
And I've none
Blades call, no?
Mine's clean
The shine of it calls me
I'm alone
I don't wish to be
But really I do
Rain pours on my rubber roof
Is it pleasant,
to watch?
Violence is *******,
For the "normals"
and I'm not
Insanity,
my mother
Darkness,
my maker
Love,
Is insanity
Over and over we try
same patterns
same results
But all,
For LOVE
and the lie of it
And poetry
is my shining blade

Narrow shoulders,
Small figure,
Skinny legs,
with big hands,
long fingertips,
tight grips,
Black hair,
thick eyebrows,
somewhat pale for your peers,
Red cheeks,
Small lips,
Wide toothy smile,
You seem so fragile,
But then you carry heavy words effortlessly ,
You seem so familiar,
But then you still hid behind those walls,
You seem so smart,
But then you misspelled,
You seem so serious,
But then you laughed,
You seem so  mature,
But then your eyes lit up as soon as you talked about your favorite movies,

For all i know,
you are nothing like what people seemed you to be,
you are something more,
something deep,
As if a void,
almost swallowed me whole.

It was better when I didn't know about you,
it was better, when my heart didn't ache
in the distressed night, you chased away
my fantasies with your face

I now have a name,
to cry out, and reach for,
while I draw a blank,
I have nothing better to dream for

more than my fantasies,
your reality I desire,
my prize, my possession,
my ever burning fire

It was better when I didn't know about you
It was better when my heart didn't ache
for with your smile, and unspoken eyes,
you took my heart away.