December has arrived
You promised me a million things
You said you'd make me happy
And always be there

December has arrived
you promised to love me even harder
and make me the happiest girl alive

December has arrived
Your promises were undistorted
but I was totally wrong
Those were just lies

As December has arrived;
Mirthless smile was drawn on my face
you promised to fix
the broken pieces of mine,
Yet-
you left me a little emptier than before


a.r

I lost sight of what it was
that brought me to this.

Skipped the holy water
and went straight for the wine.
A God who forgives
is God who won’t mind.

I got too many questions
with no one to ask.
I mumble to myself to
feel less alone.

I turn to the flower of forgetfulness
whose blood will ease my pain.

Two words appeared
on the tiny screen.
Two words that tore a hole right through
what I thought I had repaired.
“ It’s me…”

The Condor is  scavenging its way
back into existence
across barren California deserts.

I find I’m more concerned  
with things that are too far away
and too far gone for me or
anyone else to care for.

I had her for a little while.
But that little while
meant everything to me.

I got a number and
a place to lay my head.
A big enough stash to
keep this Monkey at ease.

I got all of what I need to
make it  through the night.

Yet  I still long for the
little  things
that never
did care just
a little bit for me.

...i love you
In the most innocent of forms,
In the way that I hold your hand while sitting in the passenger seat
In the way that Ill run my fingers through your hair when you've had a rough day
In the way my entire body exhales when you wrap your arms around me
And in the way i search for you in every poem I read, every movie I watch, every song that comes on the radio, every photograph
I long to find better words to describe it,
But until then
I just, whole heartedly,
Undeniably, chaotically,
love you.

We are more than the bodies we occupy
when I die,
flowers clovers and grass
will grow from my body
to make the earth pretty pretty
And to give homes to other life
Bodies are not temples
bodies are homes to souls and brains and poetry
My body is worn and torn and aching
not pure not godly not perfect
it is none of these things.
i am none of these things.
countless times i scream at the sky
"why am I sad?
why?
the earth is filled with so many great things
And here I am sad sad sad"
throwing my body onto pavement
because i felt like i could never build a home in it.
yet it still housed my soul my brain my poetry
body, forgive me.
i am so much more than you
but yet i still struggle to see myself
as a separate being.
feel like i am just you
just a body
yes,
you have carried me through heartbreak
made me get out of bed
held my heart even when i felt it was breaking
let my hands move to lovers, to worn paper, to old rusty shower knobs.
but
my soul, my brain, myself was the reason i let you perform any of those actions.
body, what you did was not involuntarily.
it was me.
it was my brain.
it was my soul.
it was my poetry.
it was all me me me